What Do You Mean My Use of The F Word Is Inappropriate?

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I swear...alot. I know, you're shocked.

However, I do no swear at work. I do not swear in the company of certain people (you know, those people that have sticks shoved so far up their arse they couldn't remove it even if they wanted to). No, I'm not saying swearing makes you cool. Sometimes life deals you a hand and the only way to really express how you feel is to go "FUUUUUUUUCCCCCK" and then plunge in head first to try and rectify the issue.

My point is, I know when my potty mouth needs to be reigned in. There are certain places and time in life where one must act like a lady.

Except when I'm stressed, like really stressed, I swear without realizing I'm doing it. Some people have tics, some people drink, others suffer from gastrointestinal issues when stressed. I curse at the most inappropriate times when I'm freaked.

Take for instance when a cardiologist tells you your mother needs triple bypass surgery, "Well FUCK me." probably isn't the most appropriate response and I can guarantee it will earn you a raised eyebrow from the doc.

Last year I did a brief (6 months) stint as an Executive Director for a non profit organization that's mandate is to promote trades and technology to high school students. Long story short it involved a National conference with over 1200 delegates and participants and yours truly organizing it. So during the week of the conference I was working 20 hour days, I had my crackberry surgically attached to my ear, and I was tired by day 4. Like dog tired. So when the Executive Director from another province said to me on day 4 "We haven't seen you at the evening get togethers" I really didn't mean to respond with "I don't have time for fucking pajama parties". I really didn't, it just came out.

When a pediatrician tells you your son, who is ONE day old, may have a brain impediment because of the port wine birth mark on his face you probably shouldn't respond with, "Are you fucking serious?" Yeah, because pediatricians joke about that shit ALL the time.

When you have a roomful of pediatric neurosurgeons/neurologists (no, my kids haven't always been the robust healthy little fuckers they are today) tell you they have no idea what's causing your three year old daughter's neurological system to shut down - responding with "Oh dear mother fucking sweet jesus"  - ok I get a pass on that one. What was I supposed to do, cry?

See? Extreme stress equals inappropriate use of my potty mouth. Fuck seems to be the word of choice with me.

How do you handle stress?


MiMi said...
March 23, 2010 at 1:39 PM

Unfortunately for me, I get the sick stomach when I'm stressed. Or just general nervousness and bitchiness.
The foul language, for me, is an every day occurance, whether stresses or not. :/

The Only Girl said...
March 23, 2010 at 1:59 PM

I avoid stressful situations at all costs. I've gotten very good at simply ignoring things. And people.

gaylin said...
March 23, 2010 at 2:00 PM

I have to watch the potty mouth myself. I have chronic fatigue and when it is bad I have a tendency to lose the swearing filter. Fuck off everyone and let me sleep. I get quiet at work when I am like this because even though these assholes make me crazy, I really like getting paid.
I eat my stress, I don't eat when I am stressed, I read too much or not at all, or sleep too much or not at all. I think it depends on the cause of the stress.

Linda Medrano said...
March 23, 2010 at 2:09 PM

God Bless You Baby! And these were all HFMB moments if you ask me! Christ on a Crutch! What else would you say to the bearer of terrifying news? Good for you! And I'm glad your kids are healthy little fuckers now!

Hillbilly Duhn said...
March 23, 2010 at 2:14 PM

Um, I'm with you, stress and swearing go hand in hand for me. The kids and the hubs know when I'm feeling it, because fuck is my word of choice as well.

My Mercurial Nature said...
March 23, 2010 at 2:15 PM

Meh, I think you get a pass on all of these. And me? I cry, vomit, and hurl things across the room (no, not all at once). None of those preclude shouting, sobbing, or vomiting whilst cursing the heavens (or the cause of my anxiety).

Ian said...
March 23, 2010 at 2:17 PM

Stress can go fuck itself up the ass.

How's that?

middle child said...
March 23, 2010 at 2:25 PM

One word,......XANAX.

As for swearing, I do not swear at people but I do swear at things and situations. Well,....Sometimes I swear at stupid drivers but they can't hear me ,OK?

Mrsblogalot said...
March 23, 2010 at 2:34 PM

I keep it bottled up for a long time then go all !!;&@@"&%#}£€!!! on my husband. He's so used to it it's scary.

Yankee Girl said...
March 23, 2010 at 3:07 PM

I don't deal with stress. I just pretend it isn't there. That works until I make myself physically sick. Then I worry about getting myself better. After that, it's back to pretending it doesn't exist.

Logical Libby said...
March 23, 2010 at 3:13 PM

Maybe you could teach Job Biden when swearing is appropriate.

And I like wine for stress. Wine and ranting.

GunDiva said...
March 23, 2010 at 3:19 PM

I'm such a potty mouth and it does come out at the most inopportune times. Luckily I've not dropped the f-bomb in the classroom, but it's been close.

singedwingangel said...
March 23, 2010 at 3:22 PM

I am trying to clean up my potty mouth but my favorite phrase USED to be "well fuck me up a hill running backwards and sideways.."

June said...
March 23, 2010 at 3:40 PM

I try so hard not to swear but when you have heard it all your life it's just part of your normal vocabulary.

I was sent home from the neighbors house at 5 years old for say SHIT all the time... had no idea it was a swear word. Mom always said it!

Plus, when your favorite nick-name for your husband happens to be FUCKER, you tend not think of it as such a bad word...*wink wink*

Laura said...
March 23, 2010 at 3:48 PM

Ask Sparky, in times of stress I can make a sailor blush. Mine tends to come out as "Why can't she just for once follow the fucking rules" - uh not the best timing is it.

carma said...
March 23, 2010 at 3:50 PM

I tend to completely crumble and cry. It is not pretty.

MindyMom said...
March 23, 2010 at 4:00 PM

In times of stress - if immediate action is needed - I tend to be pretty calm while handling it. When I'm pissed about something though the word fuck is used as almost every-other word in a sentence. And if I'm really, really pissed? I fucking cry, dammit. Which pisses me off even more.

Scribe said...
March 23, 2010 at 4:14 PM

Potty mouth, explosion in my intestines, rocking back and forth while crouched in a corner... you name it, I've done it. I also eat, which is how I ended up with more than a few extra pounds that I'm now getting rid of... oh, the stress of it all! Oh, and I swear like a trucker and say inappropriate things at the drop of a hat. I talk about spotted dick with my mother-in-law, tell people to fuck off (like in Fuck off, no way!), etc. I'm fucked.

Menopausal New Mom said...
March 23, 2010 at 4:30 PM

Oh I swear too..... loudly! Usually a string of profanities, seems to work better for me than just the word "Fuck", after the swearfest, I reach for the wine.

BigSis said...
March 23, 2010 at 5:02 PM

I didn't realize how much I've adjusted my potty mouth until I said "POOP!" at work the other day. Unfortunately, when alcohol is involved I have no restraint!

Danielle said...
March 23, 2010 at 5:14 PM

I take it out on everyone I love and then I drink myself silly!

Anonymous said...
March 23, 2010 at 5:19 PM

you make me laugh! have i said that before? well, you do.

unfortunately when i'm stressed i get the nervous poos. it's crazy really--and i'm stressed a lot.

now that i think about it, i should be way skinnier than i am...

Vinomom said...
March 23, 2010 at 5:23 PM

I swear, drink AND have diarrhea - So it could be worse you could be me.

All awesome stories though.

Monique-aka-Surferwife23 said...
March 23, 2010 at 5:33 PM

Oh yeah. I go the potty mouth route, too. It's just so fucking easy to let that kind of shit roll of the doddamn tongue, you know?

Anonymous said...
March 23, 2010 at 5:42 PM

I laugh. Thats what I do in stressful situations. Believe me you get lots of odd looks when someone tells you something horrible, and you laugh.

Mad Woman said...
March 23, 2010 at 6:02 PM

I start swearing as well. And then I cry. Which makes me swear more.

Anonymous said...
March 23, 2010 at 6:09 PM

Stress handling? Drinking, yelling, banging my fists on the tables and counters.

Anonymous said...
March 23, 2010 at 6:10 PM

Also by taking a hot bath and massaging myself sexually :)

Essie the Accidental Mommy said...
March 23, 2010 at 8:04 PM

No, you totally get a pass on the F word to doctors and executive directors.
Unfortunately, now I am going to have to go apologize to my mother for reading about you using the F word in front of your mother. LOL!
I have "been talked to" about my potty mouth in more than one job.

Sarah With Scissors said...
March 23, 2010 at 8:20 PM

you and I seem to handle stress the same way... that and the throat punch...

Anonymous said...
March 23, 2010 at 8:24 PM

I might use different words, but it's the same idea. The wife gets a little annoyed, but she knows it's better than me throwing and hitting things. And the dog just heads outta Dodge.

rxBambi said...
March 23, 2010 at 10:55 PM

Oh my god. i'm glad your babies are healthy now. I'd have said the same thing.

Sammy K said...
March 23, 2010 at 11:31 PM

I swear... just like you. =)

Or I just grab my piano and get lost in the music for a while. But swearing is usually easier.

adrienzgirl said...
March 24, 2010 at 12:28 AM

I...um....err....handle it with grace and dignity.


Stress? I eat stress for fucking breakfast. Does that count?

I have the same propensity to use the "F" word. Inopportune times? Well, I personally think that all those uptight fuckers should figure out better ways of dealing with my string of fuckity fuck fucks than look at me like I am crazy. THE FUCKING SITUATION warranted my use of the profanity did it not?

Kelly Wolfe said...
March 24, 2010 at 2:48 AM

I carry my stress in my tummy and upper back.

When I am pissed/stressed (cause I totally think there is a difference between regular stressed and pissed/stressed) I swear like a sailor. I use the eff word practically every other word. It's kinda awesome....

Sharon said...
March 24, 2010 at 9:51 AM

I love your pajama party comeback. LOL

I don't perform well under stress. I have been known to have panic attacks and end up in the ER with chest pain. Now I try to stay calm, breathe into a paper bag, and watch TV shows that make me laugh.

blueviolet said...
March 24, 2010 at 1:12 PM

I actually feel like your use of the word is warranted and to be celebrated. It's really the only word that works in some situations. Nothing has quite that impact. Celebrate it!

jessalyn said...
March 24, 2010 at 4:25 PM

i think you were justified in all those sitches. but i also have the mouth of a trucker and find myself swearing in not so appropriate situations. so maybe i am not one to listen to...

Anonymous said...
March 24, 2010 at 6:57 PM

YOU say fuck a lot? Nooooooo way?!

You and my husband musta been separated at birth..I'm sure of it!

How do I handle stress? Hmmmm...not very well...I rant and rave (curse) cry, whine and bawl...yeah...so.

Anonymous said...
March 25, 2010 at 12:34 AM

curse. slam things. etc.

I love your pajama parties quote!

gayle said...
March 26, 2010 at 9:11 AM

Sounds like you use it when you need to and want to!! When I am really in a trama I go into shock mode....and then this shocks everyone! When I am pissed I say "fuck" and then my daughters act like they have never heard or said the word before...guess it's cause I'm their mom.

Erin said...
March 26, 2010 at 2:41 PM

I eat and cuss when I'm stressed. The worst words come out when my kids are not around, but Izzy has been known to say "God Damn It," under her breath. I'm a horrible mother. LOL

Angelia said...
March 31, 2010 at 11:53 AM

I swear too. Like a lot. So much, in fact that I don't even realize when it comes out of my mouth. I attempt to sensor myself near my boss and my grandmother and somtimes my children. (15 and 11).

"I knew she was nice girl by the way she said FUCK." ~Quote from my Network Admin

Queen of Feisty said...
April 8, 2010 at 11:49 PM

Don't drink, don't smoke, don't do drugs, I swear. ALOT.

My favorite one today was I realized I needed to climb on top of the washer (not just sit on it)to switch out the light bulb above.

In which I look at my cats and say "Oh for fuck you's sake. Cock sucking light bulbs"

This made me giggle because

1. I was swearing over a lightbulb
2. I just said Cock sucking
3. I was talking to my cat.

So swearing is hands down how I respond to stress, happiness, and random bordom.