Table Conversation Anyone?

I insist on eating dinner around the table. When my brother and his family arrived for Thanksgiving dinner (which was several weeks ago because I'm from Canada eh) the first thing out of my sister-in-law's mouth upon entering the house was, "Oh we're eating at the table?" Umm...as apposed to the floor, would you prefer I just set out troughs and throw the food at ya? When we're done eating we can just haul ass out to the front yard and hose each other off. I even go as far as to use a tablecloth. Apparently I'm one of a dying breed. People don't eat dinner at the kitchen table anymore. Jimmy was at a friend's house over the weekend and he said everyone laughed at him when he grabbed his plate of pizza and sat at the table. We tried it once, eathing in the living room, watching tv. We didn't like it. The kids said it felt "weird". Yes, I'm raising freaks of nature.

One evening as we were sitting down for dinner, Jimmy asked Nora something about her ipod. She replied with a bitchy tone of voice and Jimmy immediately brought her to task for it. Rather than have this explode into WWIII where I'm physically restraining the holy terrors, I intervened and explained to Jimmy that I did not think Nora had meant her reply to come out as snarky as it sounded, though sometimes a girl's tone of voice could be construed as such (how fucking lame am I). Jimmy didn't buy it and replied, "That's not a valid excuse for being a bitch Mom, you know sometimes I think it would be easier to be a homosexual".  Whatever I was drinking at the time immediately spewed out my nose in my effort not to laugh. This kid says the damndest things that make me absolutely piss myself. The kid is 15. And he's right, isn't he? I've often said it. Unfortunately I like the male body way too much to be a lesbian.

Yes, my son said bitch. I don't know where he learned such language.

#1

I need to start running again. I'm scared to step on the scales to find out just exactly how much weight I've gained. I love running, LOVE it. Which is sort of amazing because I'm a lazy ass. I mean I love nothing more than sitting on my ass and reading blogs, or writing, or reading books....doesn't matter, as long as it involves sitting on my ass. I had to stop running for two months - two years ago - after they removed part of my tympanic membrane and I never started again. I suck.

#2

I've decided to go for the whole write a novel in 30 days. Thanks ToniB and Aunt Juicebox for the encouragement. I'll be sure to keep you posted (give you a break from my ranting about SWSNBN). When I'm rich and famous and Oprah has me on her bookclub show I'll be sure to give a shot out to the blog world. Ahahahahahh I'm funny....but can you imagine? Have you read the book "Elephant for Waters"? The author got her start doing this whole write a novel in 30 days thing......crazy shit I tell you.

#3

I think I swear to much. But chances are I'm not going to do anything about it.

#4

The thought of Christmas coming in less than two month makes me want to throw up. I love Christmas, I love the smell of the tree, decorating, cooking for huge amounts of people, getting drunk with my brother on Boxing Day and laughing our asses off at absolutely nothing,, hanging out with the kids, BEING OFF WORK FOR ALMOST TWO WEEKS (you gotta love working in education) and just the good cheer that seems to be in the air. I hate the materialism of Christmas. We buy and buy and buy, often just for the sake of buying and it makes me sick. Chances are I won't do anything about this either.

#5

I think about having another child. Yeah, feel free to slap me upside the head. I had my kids really young. I was so stupid, I had very little "life" experience. I'm smarter now, more patient. I feel like I didn't cherish my pregnancies or my babies enough. Or I could be having a midlife crisis and should just go buy a convertible...or get a boob job (neither of which I could afford).

#6

I went to Amsterdam by myself when Ex and I broke up. It was my non-anniverary present to myself. Oh you know damn well there's some great posts there. Foreign country, totally screwed up 25 year old trying to find herself, alone for the first time in her life.

#7

I'm afraid of dying young. The women on my mother's side of my family do not have a great life span. My mother died when she was 56. My daughter has never met her, my boys do not remember her. It makes me incredibly sad. She loved my boys so much. There lives are less because she's not here to love them. I get really mad at friends who bitch about having to visit their mother's, or take them to a doctor's appointment. I would give anything to HAVE to visit my mother. She sits on my mantle....in an urn. I have not scattered her ashes. I dust her urn and talk to her. I miss her so much sometimes. Six years after she died, her spirit, soul, angel whatever it is you believe, saved me and the three kids. I'll tell you about it sometime, it will make the hair on the back of your neck stand on end.

So - go ahead - share seven quick takes about you!!!!