Kids Talk

Brought to you exclusively by Dual Mom on
Snippets of conversations heard at my house over the last week. FYI, Monty is almost 18, Jimmy is 15 and Nora is 11.

I have never claimed to be a good mother.

Nora asks Monty "What did the guys (referring to kids from Grade 9...she attends a consolidated school) mean today when they were saying socks aren't just for feet anymore?" Monty looks at her, looks at me, spits soda through his nose and swallows his tongue which leads me to believe he knows what boys use socks for and now I need to go home and burn all of his.

My Ex once had his boss call him to see if Ex would go feed his dog. The boss was running late somewhere and apparently the dog was hungry. I know. Now our boys tease him mercilessly whenever the boss calls outside of normal working hours. They'll say things like, "Oh Dad has to go put wood in the fireplace for boss" or "Dad had to go tuck Boss into bed". Monty got home late from school the other day and when he got to his father's place he asked Jimmy, "Where's Dad?" Jimmy replied, without missing a beat, "Boss called, looks like there's trouble in Gotham".

Now, I can't get the mental pic of Ex dressed in a Robin suit out of my head. Gross.

Jimmy is lamenting the fact that his father is on him constantly about finding a job for the summer. So I suggest Wendy's or MacDonald's as the perfect spot for an almost 16 year old to gain summer employment. Jimmy explains to me that he can't handle the "pressure of working in the fast food industry". Those were his exact words. Obviously the poor thing has a delicate constitution.

At the dinner table the other evening we're eating a wonderful meal I had prepared on the bbq. The potatoes are overcooked on the outside but nicely done inside. This perturbs Jimmy. Like really bothers him. He eats the inside of his baked potato and then sits staring forlornely at the skin. After about five minutes of this he raises his head and asks: "What do I do with the skin, should I say a magical chant in hope that it disappears?"

No numbnuts, the compost bin is 4 steps behind you. I did not say this outloud. I worry about that child surviving in the real world.

You know you're a hard ass mother when you call your son from the kitchen and rather than responding with "What?" or "Yes?" he responds with, "Oh Mum, what did I do now?"

32 comments:

Menopausal New Mom said...
March 29, 2010 at 8:57 AM

Never a dull moment at any of our houses. I shudder to think what snippets heard around my house on any given day might sound like!

Sharon said...
March 29, 2010 at 9:54 AM

Looks like they have your sense of humor too.

Jules said...
March 29, 2010 at 10:42 AM

I love your kids! And they REALLY share my sense of humor!!! Tell your 16 year old to get a job at the local pool! That's the advice I gave my sister in high school and she LOVED it!

June said...
March 29, 2010 at 11:03 AM

Pinkus is grounded big time right now. He shoveled shit at a farm yesterday and was paid $15.
Pinkus came home and asked if he could "buy an hour off grounding" and offered up the $15....
I said No.

Ian said...
March 29, 2010 at 11:58 AM

I want to come over!

Aphrodite's Mortal Friend (ME) said...
March 29, 2010 at 12:00 PM

I can only imagine- and yet I feel like my 10 and 9 year old ARE teens already!

Shandal said...
March 29, 2010 at 12:12 PM

My son is only 3, I don't even want to think about him doing anything with a sock, other than put them on his feet. UGH.

Secretia said...
March 29, 2010 at 12:32 PM

They sound like regular teens to me. You are still a good Mom, and you know it!

Secretia

Laura said...
March 29, 2010 at 12:37 PM

Hence the reason I never pick up socks or underwear from the sons bedroom!

Is your Jimmy related to our SBear? She recently told us that no 17 year old should have the pressure of working & then paying $50/month for her car insurance. She believed that money should be hers to spend, since you know working was so awful she had to have some reward. Uh...having a car to drive apparently isn't reward enough.

Homesick Cajun said...
March 29, 2010 at 12:37 PM

My son went to "Mud Nationals" (some kind of redneck mudding, 4 wheeling, dip chewin', redneck mardi gras type of thingy) in Texas this weekend, he called me last night and told me that he and his buddy's brought a trash bag full of Mardi Gras beads, he said "Ma...you wont beleive what girls will do for beads!" (I swear I almost spit out "Umm...Son I HAVE been to Mardi Gras before, don't you remember all the beads Momma used to bring home?" but I didn't want to scar him for life!!)

So I said "So I'm guessing you saw a lot of boobs this weekend?" (Wouldn't any good Mom??) and his reply was "More than you'll ever imagine!!"

And that's what I get for asking! Now I'm scared for life!

kyooty said...
March 29, 2010 at 12:38 PM

I swear boys need to come with warning labels.

MiMi said...
March 29, 2010 at 12:41 PM

OMG, the socks thing...gah!
My 6 year old always says, "I didn't do it!" or "Nothing!" when I call him...strange.

Canadian Blend said...
March 29, 2010 at 12:50 PM

I've always thought that everybody should spend some time working in fast food. It builds character and gives you a bit of perspective so, later in life, you won't explode at the McDonald's kid when he forgets to put the Big Mac in your bag.

T!nK said...
March 29, 2010 at 1:14 PM

heeheehee. seems like ur kids are fun!

Tiffany said...
March 29, 2010 at 1:27 PM

that boss thing is too funny--somehow i fear the joke wouldn't go over well with my dad though.

my kid's uppity about how her food is cooked too--and she's only 2! geez, people, cook it yourself next time.

Steven Anthony said...
March 29, 2010 at 2:50 PM

maybe dont burn them, but wash them for sure,lol

Aunt Juicebox said...
March 29, 2010 at 3:30 PM

I think everyone should work at a fast food restaurant, or as a server when they are young, so that they learn to have respect for those jobs. I'm telling you, the way most people who treat the employees of restaurants is appalling. Also, it's the kind of job where if you have to quit for some reason, you never regret moving on.

Mrsblogalot said...
March 29, 2010 at 5:55 PM

LOL..'delicate constitution' ...you've got a fun house over there!

The Queen said...
March 29, 2010 at 6:28 PM

omg the bake potato killed me. I spit tea onto my keyboard.. leave it to kids..he wouldn't survive in my house.. I can't cook..so we don't normally even know it was suppose to be a baked potato..

*LLUVIA* said...
March 29, 2010 at 7:29 PM

Working in a fast food place as your first job really prepares you for what's ahead. It teaches you to appreciate your job "today." :)

Mad Woman said...
March 29, 2010 at 7:49 PM

Make them all go barefoot. Ewww to socks!

MindyMom said...
March 29, 2010 at 8:00 PM

I love this! The sock thing is hilarious. How did you respond? Other than buring socks?

My older three are almost exactly the same ages as yours (18, 15 & 12) and they all seem to have a dry wit. But when my 4 y/o starts parrotting some of the things they say? Um, there's some s'plainin' to do at preschool.

The Only Girl said...
March 29, 2010 at 8:45 PM

Your kids are almost as funny as you!

FYI - I only just learned about "the sock thing" a few years ago. I had no idea. Imagine my shock.

Danielle said...
March 29, 2010 at 8:52 PM

Hey, you cooked. I think that makes you a great mom!

~J said...
March 29, 2010 at 9:31 PM

LOL! You're a great Mom...I say your kids sound perfectly well rounded. Send them to me..if they can survive my cooking-they'll be set for life!

Linda Medrano said...
March 29, 2010 at 9:34 PM

Okay, what are the socks for???

Also, your kids are a riot! Love them! Dang, girl, they sound like you!

vinomom said...
March 29, 2010 at 10:03 PM

I think you are lucky your kids inherited your sense of humor! So far mine has only inherited my authority issues.

GunDiva said...
March 29, 2010 at 10:31 PM

Scary...we have identical conversations at my house. I actually smacked CJ yesterday when we were out with Ash getting her prom dress. When I zipped up her dress I found hickeys places they didn't belong, so the boyfriend got an earful and a smack.

Don't think it's going to stop him though.

adrienzgirl said...
March 29, 2010 at 11:59 PM

Teens are great aren't they?

World according to Zgirl: Teenagers are the lowest form of life on the planet.

But I still love mine.

I never worked at a fast food place. Ew! Grocery stores are where it's at!

gayle said...
March 30, 2010 at 12:30 AM

Kids are funny at all ages!!

Along said...
March 30, 2010 at 4:04 AM

I worked at a fast food restaurant and it was one of the best and worst experience of my life. I believe everyone should go thru this and get a perspective of how it is in the real world.

Boys...arghh! That's why I have 3 girls instead. I know I won't be having any socks issues.

Or won't I?

powachair said...
March 30, 2010 at 6:45 AM

Imagine what gets said when we're out of earshot. ....... " shudder"