The Award Post That Wasn't

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It's Friday! Can I get a whoop whoop? No? Allllrighty then....

So guess what I'm doing right now? No, I'm not at work. Guess. Can't guess? Ok, I'm lying in bed (with laptop obviously) drinking coffee and reading blogs. Storm day people....storm day with the kids out at their father's house! Holy crap does it get any better? After blogging I may have a nap.

A few of you commented that you would like a link to Tink's blog. For anyone interested in reading Nat's (Tink) response to the dickwad that left the nasty comments on his blog you can find Nat's response here.

My almost 18yo son and I had a conversation last week about a party he was going to Friday night. The "host" of the party was my son's 17 yo friend. When I asked him if their would be liquor at the party he replied, "Yes." hmmmm I asked if there would be girls (which in my mind is a greater evil than liquor). He replied, "Yes". I gave him the drill about drinking and driving and being responsible. He's almost 18 years old, I have to hope that I've taught him right from wrong, I have to hope that he hears his mother's voice in his head when he's tempted to do something that could harm him or someone else. Plus he's outgrown the cage I've kept him locked in for the last 5 years. Guess you have to let them fly at some point, right?

The conversation than moved into talking about the fact that Monty will be 18 next month. Being that I'm only 28 it's really quite amazing that I have a son who will be old enough to vote next month. We talked about the fact that he'll technically be an "adult" in one month. He then said to me, "That means I can pretty much do whatever I want, right Mum?". We were in the car. I turned my head and gave him "the look", to which he replied, "Aaaaannnnnd maybe not......" The two kids in the back were gleefully chanting, "You're getting the death stare, you're getting the death stare."

My kids scream and cover their ears when I talk about safe sex and condoms. I can't say the word "period" in front of the boys without them gagging and whining, "Stop Mooooommmmmmmm". In response to the fact that there would be people of the female persuasion at this party, I said to Monty, "If you're going to have sex, you damn well better be using a condemn, I will cut your penis off if you make me a grandmother at 28." His outburst of gut wrenching laughter was hardly warranted. What? I can so pass for 28. He responded with, "Mom, you haven't been able to pass for 28 since you WERE 28, and you get that threatening to cut your son's penis off could be construed as mental abuse?"

How the hell did he learn the word construed?

They are not as old and worldly as they would like everyone to believe. They are definitely not fooling me.

Next month, my oldest child will be the same age as I was when I found out I was pregnant with him. I can't put into words how that makes me feel. It makes me proud that he's such a wonderful young man.  I look at him and think of the possibility of him becoming a parent and it breaks my heart. I can't help but wonder if my own mother felt the same way when I told her on my 18th birthday that I was pregnant. Did I break her heart?

Another conversation with my boys as we're getting ready to leave the house one day last week. It's 6:30 in the morning and Monty and Jimmy, standing side by side against the kitchen counter, are trying to convince me to go out to the gaming store at lunch and trade in a couple of their Xbox games for a new game that is out. I look at the games they want to trade in and I said, "I just got this game for you guys like 3 weeks ago, you're trading it in already?" To which they responded, "Yeah, we wrapped it." My mouth falls open, my eyes bug out of my head, and I shit myself. "You wrapped the damn game in three weeks..........jesus guys, do you think that might be indicative of the fact that you're spending too much time playing video games?" Monty looks at Jimmy and says, "What does indicative mean?"

I can't win.

This post was going to be an award post (I've gotten some awesome ones over the past week). I guess I got sidetracked.

Have an uber wonderful weekend everyone.

PS. Robert Downey Jr. is presenting at the Oscars this weekend....maybe he'll do something take off all his clothes? Hey, a girl can always dream, right?


BigSis said...
March 5, 2010 at 9:02 AM

I absolutely love it. I'm going through a coming of age stage with my 9 year old. I hope we are still on good terms like you and your kids when he's 18.

Anonymous said...
March 5, 2010 at 9:30 AM

haha I love the castration threat. I'll have to remember that one. Can I be 28 too?

Anonymous said...
March 5, 2010 at 9:36 AM

If you could save your children from the inevitable mistakes they'll experience, then you would, but you know you can't, so you try to tell them all you can while there's still time. It's the right thing to do as a Mom. Keep doing it! I wish my mother had spent more time teaching me.


Logical Libby said...
March 5, 2010 at 10:48 AM

maybe the next game they get can be a vocabulary builder...

June said...
March 5, 2010 at 11:28 AM

Pinkus has the same sickness as your boys do. Wraps a game in a matter of a couple weeks. This kid was so obsessed he was waking up an hour early to game before school. We put a stop to that shit and there is no gaming on week days.

Enjoy your day!!

MiMi said...
March 5, 2010 at 1:11 PM

Okay, wait. So, first off, you're only 28, too?? Awesome.
Second, he called you you guys call moms mums...? Like the British? Gah, this Canadian world is freakin' more amazing than I thought. I need to get out more.

singedwingangel said...
March 5, 2010 at 3:06 PM

Hey hey I thought I was the only mother who threatened castration. I think the best time was when my son was out to dinner with a girl and her parents.. her father began the 'touch my daughter ' speech and doug stopped him in the middle of Arbys nad said " sir, my mother told me that if I did that before Marriage I better make it worth my while cause it would be the only time I would do it EVER, because once she foudn out and she would know I would become the girl she never had..."
The father laughed and said well never mind then..

Menopausal New Mom said...
March 5, 2010 at 4:40 PM

OMG, you're 28, I would have thought maybe 25 tops!!!

Yes, about that cage you've kept the boys in, maybe you could pass it on to me when you're done with it? And about Robert Downey Jr., I think I'd rather see Johnny Depp strip down (but I'll settle for Robert if that's all I can get)

Yeah, storm day, glad you got to kick back and relax but I gotta say, I'm pretty sick of Winter!

Traci said...
March 5, 2010 at 5:44 PM

You know once they are out of their cages, life gets much more difficult (LOL)!

I love that he used construed -- you know why he did that, because you use words like indicative with the younger ones. :-)

I'll think of you Sunday when I am drooling over Mr. Downey. Have a great weekend.

SLN said...
March 5, 2010 at 6:13 PM

Yea ... I was in Starbucks and told someone I was 29 when my darling nine year blurted out, "Mom- I thought you were 37." Eeechhh! BTW- this is my first stop over here- I'll be back :-)

Monique-aka-Surferwife23 said...
March 6, 2010 at 2:29 AM

I'm trippin' on my son turning 8 today. I can't FATHOM 18. Bah!

Did you love him as much as I did in Chances Are? That's when I discovered I was a fan. And I was young back then!

Anonymous said...
March 6, 2010 at 5:44 AM

Yes, a girl CAN dream!

Kat said...
March 6, 2010 at 9:08 AM

Ohhhh I am SO with you on the Robert Downey Jr. thing...take it ALL off...

Mary said...
March 6, 2010 at 9:45 AM

I was so laughing about your conversation with your boys! Having 3 boys, I can so relate! My oldest is also catching up with me...he's 21 and me? 29!!!

Resentful Wife said...
March 6, 2010 at 11:06 AM

Have I told you how much I love your blog look? No? Well I LOVE your blog look...very, very sexy.

I see a bigger message in your video game would think if your young men were still spending that much time playing video games, they should have ZERO interest in girls. Remind them of that and perhaps a bribe is in store...they get more video games if they leave the girls alone. I'm with you...every time my 21 year old son calls, I get a sick feeling in my stomach because I'm afraid it's going to the "the news" about "that girl". Freaks me out because I'm only 28, too.

sarah @ i run with scissors said...
March 7, 2010 at 1:56 AM

Sounds like your kids are doing pretty good. Even if they are playing too many video games :)

And I TOTALLY believe your 28.

The Only Girl said...
March 7, 2010 at 10:23 AM

ugh. Mine aren't even 10 yet and I already have panic attacks at the thought of the sex, drugs & booze thing.

I'm considering moving out between their ages of 15 - 20 because I really don't think I'll be able to take it.

Yankee Girl said...
March 7, 2010 at 2:57 PM

You can totally pass for 28.

What a great post. It made me feel like I was right there while you were having the conversations.

And it made me remember how awesome and cocky I thought I was when I was 18!

Can something be considered mental abuse if what you are saying isn't a threat, and is in fact, 100% true? Wouldn't it just be considered a warning?

Veronica Marcetti Dimick said...
March 7, 2010 at 5:12 PM

Good for you for threatening to cut off your son's penis! More effective than ignoring the fact that they are interested in sex!

And ... Robert Downey, Jr. .... I can't wait!!

Laura said...
March 7, 2010 at 5:35 PM

You parent very much like I do. I must tell you that I bet the entire state could hear my sigh of relief as each one of my older two made it past the age where I became pregnant without any babies of their own!

Linda Medrano said...
March 7, 2010 at 8:55 PM

Your son and my grandson Cyrus are just about the same age. I have to laugh at Cyrus telling his parents when he's 18, he can do what he wants whether they like it or not. Uh huh, but where do you think you are going to live Cyrus? Oh at home. I see. LOL! Boys!

So, I am not even wondering about your 28 since I'm only 38.


Raoulysgirl said...
March 8, 2010 at 2:56 AM

I'm so glad that I don't have to deal with boys.

Oh wait...I have girls...who will be dating boys...

Is it too late to just get a puppy???

gayle said...
March 8, 2010 at 10:34 PM

I love reading all the funny and insightful things kids say!!

Mae Rae said...
March 23, 2010 at 1:31 PM

sorry but i just had to giggle...i still have my cage and refuse to let them out. I will never threaten to cut off thier you know whatsy but tell them it will fall off on thier own. It is some horible diseases out there if they are not careful.