Bygones?

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Do you feel as though you have the right to judge others? Sounds like a retarded question, no? Think about it for a moment. Obviously you're free to think what you think as we all are, but as a blogger do you feel as though you have the right to verbally judge another blogger for his thoughts, ideas, or way of life? If someone posts something you don't agree with do you feel as though it's your given right to critisize this person publicly on their blog? Or do you just click away and let bygones be bygones?

I know, you're wondering what could possibly have me up on my soapbox now. The possibilities are endless right? Trust me, I'm about to tell you and if you're here reading I'm assuming you want to hear it.

There is a young man named Nat or Tink as you may know him. He blogs. He's super young, like 21...a baby, right? He also has one of the oldest souls and kindest hearts I've seen in a young person in a long time. He writes shit that leaves me sitting with my mouth hanging open because I find it impossible to wrap my head around the fact that he's only 21. The other day, he received this comment on a post he did some time ago.

You need to simply stop whinning and stop being a baby bitch. Why dont you Soldier up and take your life lessons. I have no sympathy for you at all. You are just a young kid that enjoys complaining. You think its such a big deal that you deployed into Iraq...No sympathy here, son. Stop being a crying bitch.


This asshat then proceeded to leave a second comment:



SFC Smith said...


Your picture on your front page looks stupid. take it down and be a bit more modest and humble about yourself and your ego...

I'll give everyone a moment to digest those two things. I on the other hand did not take that moment, I saw red and fired off this:

Mr. Smith (and I use the term Mr. very loosely),


Why does he need to stop bitching? Has he sent you a personal invite to his blog and begged you to read his bitching? If he has than yes indeed, he should retract that invite. But I'm thinking he hasn't invited you to read anything he's written. You're here of your own free will (fancy thing that free will). So YOU need to fuck off I think.

Nor did he ask for your sympathy. Again, you are more than free to have your thoughts, as he is free to have his. What you do not have the right to do, is judge him for his thoughts which he chooses to express on HIS blog. Again, fuck off please.


The picture, did he ask you to look at it? Did he ask for your opinion? Say it with me everyone....NO HE DID NOT. So guess what Mr. Smith fucktard, FUCK OFF.


Nat is a beautiful young man with a kind heart and a good soul. Not all people can say the same. Yes, I include you in that category of those with a black heart and a tarnished soul who props up their own sense of self worth by tearing others down.

So once more, with feelilng...FUCK OFF Mr. Smith.

So what's my point here besides the portrayal of my hair trigger temper? I guess it's this. Mr. Smith is free to think whatever he wants about Nat's post. Does that freedom include a right to insult and tear down someone on their own blog. It's a public forum, right? So does Nat, or any of us for that matter, by posting on a public forum, forfeit their right to be treated with respect and dignity?

Also, I'm doubting my own rational at responding the way I did. Should I have let bygones be bygones? One might consider my response dramatic, and I suppose it is. I hate drama and will go to almost any end to avoid it. Bullying? Yeah I'll take that one on with guns blazing and attitude to spare. You see I instinctively stood up to what I see as bullying. This man is basically bullying someone that I have a deep respect for and I couldn't just click away. Should I have clicked away and simply disengaged?

The comment "baby bitch"... Nat is gay and he makes no apologies (nor damn well should he) for it. So the whole thing in my mind is veiled gay bashing, which is just so totally fucking wrong on so many levels. That's my opinion, and being that THIS is my blog, I feel free to voice it.

Honest thoughts, ideas and opinions on the issue? Honesty is always welcome here, opinions differing from those I have are also MORE than welcome. Outright personal insults and bullying, yeah that will probably be met with just a wee bit of ire.

It goes without saying, I have THE most respectful commentors. :0)

Soapbox over.

27 comments:

Laura said...
March 4, 2010 at 12:21 AM

I try to get over to Nate's blog as often as I can. However, I missed these comments and I suppose I should be glad. I would have jumped right on board defending him. I love that guy.

I see this all too often on blogs. The hate and meanness that spews from readers. Unfortunately it is just too easy for people to hide behind the anonymous comments.

On the rare occasion that I feel I disagree with a blog I am reading I usually just click the "x" and stop reading. There has been one occasion where I commented leaving an opinion that was not inline with the writers thoughts. That being said I did it in a very diplomatic way. Being in management I have learned the art of making my point and disagreeing gracefully without hateful or harmful words.

Homesick Cajun said...
March 4, 2010 at 12:35 AM

Our blogs are our own, to do with as we please, to write about whatever we please. When you go into someone's blog, you're a guest there. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all!

The guy sounds like a total ass and sounds like he deserved the message you sent him hun!

Menopausal New Mom said...
March 4, 2010 at 12:42 AM

I wasn't sure where you were going with this but I have to agree that we all have the right to blog whatever we feel like and anyone who doesn't like what is written should just move on. (Kinda like I did with that blog that I stopped following cause I just didn't get the "me, me, me" that so many people think is "so cool") yeah, I thought you were gonna blast me when I started reading this post Lol!

Just like you pointed out, I did not leave a nasty comment on that person's blog, just hit the stop follow and moved on (okay, I kinda moved on, had to tell someone!).

Sarah With Scissors said...
March 4, 2010 at 1:37 AM

Oh man I almost lost my MIND reading about his. I consider someone's blog like their home. I would not go into someone's home and start bashing them. Like you said, if you don't like what your reading then stop reading it. Funny thing this free will. I'm pretty sure lots of people do that with mine and that's okay. If you love it, stay, if you don't leave.

adrienzgirl said...
March 4, 2010 at 1:38 AM

Oh Dual Mom. You know that people that are bullies are always going to be bullies regardless of space and time. Cyber space gives people with no personality, backbone or substance as a human being some semblance of such. It's really sad.

I have no tolerance for HATE. None. I would have probably done the same as you had I seen it. Tink has recently started following me and he seems really sweet. That anyone would bash him makes me sad.

I have left comments on blogs before that differ from the opinion or point of the blogger. Especially when they ask for honest feedback. I have NEVER been hateful or disrespectful though. I had someone stop following me and get pissed off because she was constantly blogging about why, why, why are little girls encouraged to believe in princesses. She didn't want her daughter to have a princess dollhouse that she asked for, for Christmas. Blah, blah, blah...her daughter was better than that, going to college(she is like 4), going to be a Supreme Court Justice, yada yada yada....

After several days of it, I told her there was nothing wrong with little girls wanting to be princesses, and that I was very successful and have a happily ever after and prince charming. So yeah, I disagreed. She unfollowed. Whatever.

My point was, she asked for honest feedback, yet she really only wanted people to support her point of view.

T!nK said...
March 4, 2010 at 1:44 AM

and that's called, "going in!"

haha. I'll explain. going in is when you basically go after someone like a pit bull... whatever it may be. It's basically when you are super passionate about something. Like the way I "went in" on the cheesecake that was sitting in my fridge. It's kind of a black/gay slang. LoL. So thank you for going in on my defense :-) You ROCK.

I'll be posting about this subject tomorrow, probably.

GunDiva said...
March 4, 2010 at 1:48 AM

Dual Mom - I'd hate to see what would happen to the poor bastard who ever threatened your kids. I adore T!nk and I'm glad you saw the comment before I did. I agree, FUCK OFF Mr. Smith.

If I run across something I don't agree with, I just move on to the next blog. It's my freedom to choose (thanks for protecting that freedome T!nk) what I want to read/believe.

Thanks for going in after that bastard. We've all got your back.

Kathy Sprinkle said...
March 4, 2010 at 2:19 AM

I think that people should have respect and decency in all forums. Unfortunately not everyone suscribes to this. I think you had a ton of moxie (kind of on my mind these days over at Everyday Bliss!) to stand up to that jerk. I'd like to think I would do the same. TinK had it right YOU ROCK!

Kathy
http://www.blisspot.blogspot.com/

The Blue Zoo said...
March 4, 2010 at 3:44 AM

Some people are just assholes. In real life, and on blogs. And sometimes they need to be put in their place! So I say, Good Job!

Secretia said...
March 4, 2010 at 7:06 AM

I admire your outspokenness and i think people have the right to enjoy their own sexuality.

Secretia

Quixotic said...
March 4, 2010 at 7:11 AM

I agree - I have left comments offering another point of view, or to say I personally disagree, but I always keep it respectful and mindful that it's just my litlte old opinion, and people can think what they want - except of course, asshats like Mr Smith!! lol

singedwingangel said...
March 4, 2010 at 7:37 AM

Ok I do not now Tink but that just pissed me off for him.. But based on this jerkoff's response he seems to think that because of Tink's choice of lifestyle he isn't a 'man' or military.. Well BITE me SFC Smith. Being a former Navy brat and Army wife I am ASHAMED to say I was being protected by someone with your attitude. SFC in this case means stupid f'in crackhead.. oooh so your a sargent. I am so not impressed, in fact I am saddened. Saddened that someone with your attitude and mouth is representing the military. Opinions are like assholes everyone has one and occasionally they stink, well that SFC would be YOU perhaps if you could get your head out of your self righteous, judgmental ass you might see things from a different perspective. Tink apparently went to defend your right to talk like that so stick it, preferrably the same place your head is, or in your ear cause your head is quite swelled and your brain must get awful lonely in it all by it's little self.

June said...
March 4, 2010 at 10:51 AM

There is no way I would have stood by and not said anything if this was a blog friend getting bashed by some dickhead.
I would have done the same damn thing.

Yankee Girl said...
March 4, 2010 at 12:23 PM

I don't understand why people need to be douchecanoes on other people's blogs. It is really unnecessary. I used to get a ton of hate mail which is why I started monitoring my comments. It sucks and it pointless.

HIGH FIVES to you to telling that douchecanoe off. You say it was your temper, but I think in situations like this, one should have a temper and be pissed.

Way to have your friends back.

Can you put a link to Nate's blog? I'd love to read it.

Canadian Blend said...
March 4, 2010 at 12:43 PM

I agree with everything you said. As a matter of fact I'd gone to "did Nat invite you to read his blog" in my head before I got to your reply.

The world is full of Trolls. (Not all of them hide under bridges.)

Danielle said...
March 4, 2010 at 1:45 PM

I personally like it when someone either calls me out or debates something, but do it respectfully and not anon.
I hate bashing. Don't read if you don't like. We all have a choice. Like menomoms post a couple of days ago.
I say, good for you for standing up to Mr. Smithasshatterama.

blueviolet said...
March 4, 2010 at 2:11 PM

You said it so well in your post. Respectful commenting is the key. It's totally fine to have differences of opinion. That's what makes us all unique. But it's not ok to be hurtful.

MiMi said...
March 4, 2010 at 2:45 PM

That dude doesn't know what it means to cry like a bitch.
Someone called me mean on my blog once and I cried like a whiny bitch. For sho.
What an asshat.

MindyMom said...
March 4, 2010 at 2:58 PM

Blog Trolls are just bullies without balls. And lots of issues. They are narrow-minded people wanting to feel big and more important than they are.

If a troll were to bash anyone of the bloggers I read like that, I would also tell him/her to fuck off.

Well done.

Monique-aka-Surferwife23 said...
March 4, 2010 at 4:08 PM

You already know my thoughts about the whole T!nK thing. I completely agree that it was bullying. A cowardly bully who didn't have any kind of link back so we could see who s/he was.

Great post.

Sammy K said...
March 4, 2010 at 6:11 PM

You go girl!

A woman with an attitude should never hesitate to tell someone off. =)

Mrsblogalot said...
March 4, 2010 at 7:15 PM

Can you imagine???

Would anyone walk into someone's house and spew that crap???

Un-BE-lievable!!

Kat said...
March 4, 2010 at 8:17 PM

Our blogs are our own! We have the right to say whatever we want. Most of us know how to do that with tact and without offending most. After all, we do like comments and readers, right? But to have someone come to your blog and tear you down because they don't agree is absolutely not part of this process.

I guess the only thing I have to say is at least this idiot left his name so you could respond. These anonymous idiots really kill me. It's real brave to put a "mask" on and say or do whatever you want. You know?

Good going on your part!!

Jen said...
March 4, 2010 at 9:00 PM

http://piecesofmejen.com/2010/03/04/master-blog...

you have been given an award!

Linda Medrano said...
March 4, 2010 at 10:47 PM

This kind of thing is disgusting! I don't understand why anyone would be so stupid as to read something you don't appreciate. Nobody is making you read it. Just move on if you don't like it. I really don't mind people not agreeing with me. I don't mind someone even being argumentative, but this is absurd. The guy is a doll (I just looked at his site) and if you have an issue with him or what he writes, don't fucking read it! Good for you Darlin'!

gayle said...
March 7, 2010 at 11:35 PM

I agree with you!!! If you don't like a post a person can just move on. Mr S was just trying to be mean!!

Mae Rae said...
March 23, 2010 at 1:26 PM

holy fuckface battard! He should be slapped and hard! I liked your soapbox and my jaw is still on the ground. Shit this is the crap I missed being busy...i got to catch up. Missed you!