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I left the house this morning at 6:45 and intentionally left my almost 18 yo son sitting on the patio of our locked house. It was early, it was cold. It was that or murder him.

Monty and I very rarely fight. When we do argue, it's over him bullying his sister, or laundry. I am so incredibly sick of fighting over laundry at 6:30 in the morning I am very close to braining the little christer and burying him in my backyard. It's the same goddamn argument EVERY SINGLE TIME. He doesn't bring his laundry to the laundry room, I refuse to go in his room, his laundry doesn't get done which results in not having clean clothes. It's simple fucking math dear son of mine....if a than b.

This morning was the proverbial straw that crippled the damn camel. After 10 minutes of screaming and roaring the likes of which I'm sure scared woodland creatures within a 5k radius, I told him to put his goddamn pj's on for all I care and get the hell in the car. We (the other two quacking children and I) started walking to the car and Monty is standing on the step. I turned and asked if he was coming. To which he replied "No, tell Dad to come and get me".

Dad lives 20 minutes away, if Dad is required to come and get him Monty is going to miss the bus and Dad will than have to drive him to school.

I said, "I'm counting to five Monty, if you're not in the car I'm leaving without you. You will sit on that doorstep for the remainder of the day, in the cold, with no food. This is not an empty threat. Think about your next move very carefully". I counted to five and he stood there, stubbornly glaring at me.

I turned on my heel, got in the car and drove away.

The kids get on the bus at their father's house. I normally drop them in the morning, pick them up after work. Ex and I rarely see each other unless we need to discuss something. When I arrived this morning I went barreling into the house and Ex was just coming down the stairs. I immediately started:

"That goddamn son of yours is going to drive me into an early grave. Do you know where he is right now? Let me tell you where he is? He's at home sitting on the goddamn doorstep because he's too damn lazy and pigheaded to make sure he has clean clothes for the morning. He gets that damn pigheadedness from you. Well let me tell you one thing Ex, I am through treating that child like he's a child. He's 18 damn years old and it's about damn time he started taking a little bit of responsibility and and and ...

And it went on and on. Not my finest moment. Nor am I proud.

Ex is just standing there nodding his head. "I'll go get him and take him to school." This just sets me off again because it's exactly what Monty wanted. Ex - (who I will admit is MUCH more level headed than I will ever be) explained to me that it would not be a "pleasant" drive to school for Monty. He said he would "talk" to him. That boy is in big trouble....Ex rarely talks, but when he does, watch out.

To give Monty credit, he's a good kid. 98% of the time he will do whatever he's asked to do with no question. I will admit to having a bad week and I will admit to flying off the handle a little too easily.

I left Ex's and about 10 minutes later realized that the ENTIRE time I had been standing there ranting like a lunatic...Ex was in a t-shirt and underwear. He was in his underwear and I did not even realize.

So now not only do I have to apologize to my son for exploding this morning (there will be no apologizing for leaving him on the doorstep, he deserved that). I also need to apologize to Ex for making him stand in the doorway for 10 minutes in his underwear.

Epic Mom fail. Is it Friday yet?


singedwingangel said...
March 10, 2010 at 2:34 PM

OK wow so see I apparently wasn't the only one with not a great day yesterday.. although I like the way you think lol.. Your ex sounds like my hubby I can blow my stack till I sound like a dynamite blast and they don't bat an eye, daddy talks in a voice so quiet a mouse has to strain and they jump up and do it ARRGGHHH

Daffy said...
March 10, 2010 at 2:37 PM

The silver lining? You didn't feel compelled to reach into those 'shorts' and whack his fishing tackle off....

Therapy is working. Now, pass the bottle, willya?

Laura said...
March 10, 2010 at 2:46 PM

It's a sad day when we look back and realize that in our attempt to make a point we've put ourselves in a not so great light. Been there done that several times.

Anonymous said...
March 10, 2010 at 2:48 PM

I can totally relate on the laundry issue. I have been known to force the kids to re-wear dirty clothes in that event. Again, Not my problem.

The ex in his underwear is hilarious. I'm sure he understood because you were upset.

Anonymous said...
March 10, 2010 at 2:58 PM

We all have those moments in life. I have to say you are a better woman than I am because I am so stubborn I am pretty sure there would be no apologizing no matter how wrong I was! Hope your day gets better. :)

Homesick Cajun said...
March 10, 2010 at 3:06 PM

What is it about Son's? They're always so damn pigheaded! I remember I went through this with my son when he was 15. I got so pissed off I told him "That's it, pack your're going to live with your (drug addict)Dad!!"

Girl...that little shit was ballin' his eyes out and much more willing to do what was asked of him! was funny watching him have to unpack all of his shit!

So...making my 15 year old cry his eyes

Making that little shit do what I say...SCORE!!! Lmao...

Ex in his underwear is priceless!!

Logical Libby said...
March 10, 2010 at 3:07 PM

I think Monty got off easy. My Mom would have made me walk.

Linda Medrano said...
March 10, 2010 at 3:43 PM

I think Monte got off easy too. I would have already dug the grave in the back yard and designed the tombstone!

Anonymous said...
March 10, 2010 at 3:59 PM

He probably liked standing in the doorway like that, some men think it's sexy.


Mad Woman said...
March 10, 2010 at 4:14 PM

Glad I'm not the only one that was ready to rip the heads off my kids yesterday. Zoiks!

Now, the questions is this - was he wearing boxers or tighty whiteys while you ranted?

GunDiva said...
March 10, 2010 at 4:20 PM

I love you. I've done the same thing with my kids. Especially my 18 year old, who has decided that we "take advantage of him" living at home. For free. Feeding him. For free. Paying his cell bill. So, see how much we were taking advantage of him by expecting to do the dishes every 3rd day and driving his sibs around.

Their frontal lobes don't develop until 25, so they're stuuuuuuupppppiiiiidddd until then.

June said...
March 10, 2010 at 4:26 PM

I absolutely love the fact that you left him sitting outside. Pinkus has learned the hard way plenty of times...

We are sitting in fog & overcast till next Monday so they overall mood around these parts pretty much sucks! Even my level headed Ward is getting twitchy.

MindyMom said...
March 10, 2010 at 5:43 PM

This sounds like something that would happen at my house - excluding the scene with the ex. (which I find hilarious, btw)

I just *love* it when I do laundry ALL week and then about 4 loads show up in the laundry room all at once from under some kids bed, bedroom floor, gym bag, or bag from their father's house. Especially the daughter who's bedroom is right next to the laundry and which she has to pass every time she exits and enters her room yet her clothes cant seem to make it there. Grrrr.

MiMi said...
March 10, 2010 at 6:04 PM

I wouldn't apologize for letting your ex stand there in his underwear. I think that's hilarious. What would be better is if he had a skid mark up the back.

Danielle said...
March 10, 2010 at 6:10 PM

I think that is exactly what you are supposed to do. I have thought about doing that to my 2 year old. :) If I could, I would. Ican't wait until she is 18. She is going to be locked out a lot!

Yankee Girl said...
March 10, 2010 at 7:19 PM

Sorry I laughed at the underwear thing.

I don't think boys/men ever really learn to take care of laundry. His future wife will most likely fight with him about the same thing.

Good for you for letting him sit in the cold. Maybe that taught him a lesson...though I don't think 18 year olds ever learn lessons that you mean to teach them.

sarah @ i run with scissors said...
March 10, 2010 at 7:49 PM

I can clearly remember having a similar argument with my mother over something and her leaving me on the side of the road to walk home (true story). I most definitely deserved it and I turned out okay. But don't get me wrong... I tease my mom about it to this day. She calls it her mom fail too. She may have lost the battle but she won the war. She managed to raise me to be an independent successful gal...

Respectfully Yours said...
March 10, 2010 at 7:56 PM

What a day! Why do we always come across like the raving lunatic? Well hopefully the two guys worked things out. Don't worry, you did the right thing. Ex in underwear, classic!!

Anonymous said...
March 10, 2010 at 8:35 PM

I need the same set of balls you have! One day I swear I really am going to leave Lady H on the doorstep. But she's only I have a few more years to grow a pair right?

I say good for you!

My Mercurial Nature said...
March 10, 2010 at 9:03 PM

1. Daffy is right!

2. Nah, not an epic FAIL...but some pretty funny stuff (and sure, maybe a tiny apology could be said).

3. I'm celebrating the fact that while have A. Stormed into exes house to tell him about how HIS kid (when he's being a brat) is "just like" him and FYI, a brat, and he has B. Listened calmly because, yes, he's level-headed (and no fun), I have never C. Caught him in only his underpants.

Why? D. Depending on the anger level, there's not enough therapy in the world.

Corrie Howe said...
March 10, 2010 at 10:41 PM

It must be in the water. Nearly 18 year old son had an emotional outburst, in which he struck his younger brother (albeit with a pillow) for check mating him in chess. Long story short...hubby was out of town, like always happens. Because nearly 18 year old son knows better than to pull this kind of stuff with dad around.

Today older son offered to play chess again with younger son and promised not to hit him again. Younger son would not play. I said, "He won't hit you because he knows I'm going to call the police this time." And my older son knows I would.

Anonymous said...
March 10, 2010 at 11:21 PM

Oh the laundry fights I have had with my Older Kid. Brings back memories...

That's why he does his own laundry. :-)

Menopausal New Mom said...
March 10, 2010 at 11:22 PM

Oh boy. What a bad start to the day and I can sympathize with you for the frustration you must feel. I hope the ex was able to explain to your son exactly what is expected of him for both of you. Luckily, the ex is open to discuss the kids and their behavior with you (even if he can't get a word in edgewise Lol), hopefully Monty will have a better appreciation for you both and act more responsibly.

As far as the undies, big deal, I don't know any man who doesn't like to show off whether he has anything to brag about on not!

Raoulysgirl said...
March 11, 2010 at 10:43 AM


Were they like "Hot come hither" underwear or just like "Blah ex" underwear?


I'm sorry! Just seemed like you needed a laugh!!! :)

gayle said...
March 12, 2010 at 12:01 AM

So cute!! your x didn't notice either!!

Aunt Juicebox said...
March 12, 2010 at 8:38 PM

Oh my laaaaaaaawd. My fight with Tee is always about her not putting her clothes away. She makes SURE she puts the dirty laundry where it will be seen and washed, otherwise she runs the risk of not having the exact pair of jeans she wants at any given moment. But once they are clean? She just tosses them anywhere.

Anonymous said...
March 14, 2010 at 12:04 PM

we all lose it sometimes. Just wait til wednesday and you will see my Epic decent human being fail.