I know all you bloggers south of the Canadian border are used to huge lotto jackpots and 50 million probably is no big deal. Here in Canada, where EVERYTHING is government regulated, jackpots rarely make it above the 30 million mark. This Friday there is a 50 million dollar jackpot up for grabs, which got me thinking, what the hell does one do with that kind of money?
So I sat pondering it on my drive to work this morning. What would Dual Mom do with THAT much money? I'm a single mom. I have a good job, but I also have 3 kids (two of which are teenage boys and can eat their weight in food on a daily basis). I have a mortgage, drive a new car, a shoe addiction that would rival most coke addicts love of the white stuff and various other everyday expenses. In the next two years both boys will be going off to College/University with the girl not far behind. Do you know how fucking expensive post secondary education is?!!! Let's be honest here, I'm tempted to try and sell my body to deal with that little expense. However, any prostitution attempts on my part would end in dismal failure and I'm really not sure the ole' ego could take it.
I digress. Anyrichbitch I am not what one would consider well off.
So 50 million dollars is really unfathomable to me.
I started blogging five months ago. In that time, there are several women that I've gotten to know just a little bit. They make me laugh, they make me think, they open my eyes to new things. The fact that there are so many people and places in the world that I will never know actually keeps me up at night. I have this irrational need to KNOW people. The fact that there are a gazzillion places on earth I will never visit makes me sad. It really and truly does. I have daydreams about sitting around a pub with alot of these woman, drinking vodka martinis and shooting the shit.
So what would I do with 50 million dollars? I would have the biggest, baddest, bestest damn blog party this world has ever seen. Seriously. I'd rent out the most high tootin', poshest resort I could find and I'd fly (first class - cause I'm filthy stinkin rich and that's what filthy stinkin rich people do) EVERY ONE of my blog buddies in for the bash. We would than proceed to drink, laugh, cry, shop, laugh, shop, make fun of fucktards, swear, drink some more.....well you get the picture. We would get dressed when we felt like it, sleep when we felt like it, eat when we felt like it. It would be light years BEYOND totally fabulous and just imagine the blog fodder? Imagine the damn blog fodder people!! Of course just because I'm filthy stinkin rich does NOT mean I'd stop blogging. But I might hire someone to type out my blog from my dictated notes, because that's what filthy stinkin rich people do, right?
So here's what I'm thinking. We all know the power of positive thinking right? Ok even if you don't believe in it just stick with me for a sec. You should send ALL your positive thoughts my way in hopes that I win the lottery on Friday night. I know, I know there are starving children in the world and I could so be using my bloggy powers for more humanitarian efforts but I promise when I'm filthy stinkin rich I will so help the starving kids. I swear. I never buy lottery tickets. I think in my entire life I've bought like two. So this is it folks, this is OUR chance. Really I'm doing this for all of you because I know how empty your life is without the opportunity to party with Dual Mom.
So tell me, what would you do with 50 million dollars?
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