I Suck So Bad

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Fuuuuuuuuccccccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk. shit damn bitch shit fuck fuckfuckityfuckfuckfuck.

Sorry. I'm sorry for my potty mouth but you'll understand when you read my post. Let me interrupt this psychotic rant to welcome several new followers aboard the crazy train that is Dual Mom. I curse, I'm sometimes not very politically correct, I'm a bit of a hard ass (or dominatrix as Zgirl likes to call me...gee thanks Zgirl). Seriously, I'm not certifiable, really, trust me. Sure I talk to myself, and sometimes self talks back but c'mon - doesn't everyone have full fledged conversations with themselves? Once in a blue moon I'll say something funny, or insightful or motivational so welcome!

So, yeah....today's D-day. The start of all things great. The start of Lose It Bitch in which all us crazy bloggers start to be all that we can BE (gag gag cough cough). So how did Dual Mom kick off the day, by getting out of bed at noon, that's how. Good one, right? Way to be on the ball Dual Mom!! Considering I was up until SIX O'CLOCK this morning it really wasn't that late. For the first time in my life, even after three pregnancies that have seen my body morph into some alien being that I no longer recognize, I had heartburn. Holy fuck, how do people survive that on a regular basis? I went to bed at midnight, read for 20 minutes and was soundly off to sandman land. An hour later I woke up and thought that all my wishing of STD's on Ex's girlfriend had finally caught up with me because surely the burning pain in my chest was a direct result of my demise and I was now rotting in hell. Right? Wrong, it was heartburn. I have never had heartburn people...NEVER! There were no tums or antacids in the house. To make a long, painful story short I finally fell asleep at 6am.

So up at noon, coffee, breakfast and reach for the camera to take a pic of the scales. Because it is THAT day people. The day we have all been waiting for with an equal mixture of dread and anticipation. So I strip down (you can't weigh yourself with clothes on, not even panties, because panties weigh POUNDS and POUNDS as we all know), turn the camera on and the goddamn thing is dead. No problem, I have another camera. Throw on bathrobe and dig in the cupboard for other camera...hmmmm no sign of other camera. Dig in drawer...still no sign of other camera. Shout at the top of my lungs to kids, "Guys has anyone seen the red Canon?" This is where my asshat lovely daughter tells me she borrowed (without asking) the camera and left it in school. Ok this is solveable, I can charge the Nikon and take pic later in the afternoon.

Noreen and I went to the movies this afternoon to see The Blind Side. Sandra Bullock was amazing in it. My favorite role she's ever played. It was really good, check it out if you have a chance.

Home from movies and my power is out. For the last five hours my power has been intermittently out and when it briefly flicks back on the internet connection seeems to be down. It has gone out three five times since I started this post. Luckily the laptop is charged (the only damn thing in the house that is) and I'm typing this in Word. This of course means the battery for the camera hasn't charged and my whole awesome debut I had lined up for Lose It Bitch is pretty much fucked.

So I sit here at 10:30 drinking wine (I know right, probably really good for heartburn?). I'm calling a do over and starting tomorrow with a posted pic first thing in the morning. I did weigh myself this morning and in this corner, weighing in at 174.5 is Dual Mom. That's right, I've put on about 5 pounds in the last month which is really just fucking grand. This means my goal is to lose 29 pounds....I would like to get down to 145. I also plan to start running again, which may actually kill me. There is a local 10k during the first week of June that I plan on running...and finishing in under an hour.

So to recap the rules for those of you competing with us:

Post your pic (either of your scales or yourself...the choice is yours), include what your goals are and how you plan to achieve those goals.

The challenge will run until April 30th...this gives us four months.

The winner (determined by % of body weight lost rather than pounds) will recieve a token of congrats from each of the participants.....goodies from all over the world.

Each week you need to post your progress or I will hunt you down and kick your ass. This means you're accountable to ALL of us for your progress. How's that for pressure? As Kys said, "This is so 1987, girl's bathroom, and you are holding the pack of Marlboros." but hey, if it works I'm willing to be the class bully ladies. Just for you.... I'm going to weigh in on Sunday. If you would rather do it on another day, please feel free, the important thing is to do it!

Zgirl at Think Tank has started a new website where she's going to post recipes, weight loss tips and information. I (along with a few other crazy girls) will be contributing to the site. It's a work in progress but be sure to check it out and follow.

I'm excited about this. I'm so excited that so many of you have decided to participate. I'm looking forward to cheering each and everyone of you on! Here is the list of participants. If I've forgotten anyone it's because of the intermittent power. You can imagine how fun it is to try and compile a list of blogs with a shitty internet connection and blinking power. Yeah, THAT fun. So let me know if I've left you off the list.

Aunt JuiceBox at Bacon is My Lover
Feisty at Spaghetti and Bagels
Zgirl at the Think Tank
GunDiva at Just Another Perfect Day
Meg at Mind of a Madwoman
Kat at Happy Hour Somewhere
Noelle at Elastic Waistbands
Mae Rae at In and Out of the Bubble
Gayle at Gramme's Blog
Danielle at MidLife Mommy
Alex at Whoa Momma
Kelly at Wolf Party of 5
Hissyfits and Halos
JQ Brat (I don't have your website!!)
Sharon (Nor your's)
D.A.R.R.A (Ditto above)
Nurse McGee
Laura (and again)
TJ at TJ's Weigh
The Other Mommy

That's one hell of an impressive list. So I raise my glass to each of you and I wish you strength in the face of temptation. It's on!


Monique-aka-Surferwife23 said...
January 3, 2010 at 12:45 AM

It sounds like there were some major forces at work to keep you from debuting today. Seriously.

Sorry about the heartburn I had that shit during both pregnancies and it's the worst!!

Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...
January 3, 2010 at 12:54 AM

Mother nature is talking to you chickadee!! Damn her. She is always getting in the way. I wish you all luck on this endeavor and I will be cheering from the sidelines as I am trying to jumpstart a non existent career!!

adrienzgirl said...
January 3, 2010 at 1:07 AM

Yeah, so I told everyone they could wait to start until Sunday anyway. You know, trying to win them over as the less overbearing of the two of us! :D

Plus, everyone knows that the week starts on Sunday. Just sayin'.

I will have an intro up on the new site as soon as all the contributors accept. Let me know if anyone else needs to be able to add content.

Lose it Bitch! Love!

Mad Woman said...
January 3, 2010 at 1:36 AM

My official weigh in day at Weight Watchers is Wednesday evening. Tuesday where you are. So, can I weigh in then? Which means I'll be ending April 28th..or at least that'll be my last weigh in.

Glad you finally got back online. Hope your power stays on.

gayle said...
January 3, 2010 at 1:40 AM

You day sounds like my yesterday and today...the new year has not started out great!! I am hoping to start tomorrow!!! Good luck to us all!!

GunDiva said...
January 3, 2010 at 1:48 AM

I'll get my pic posted tomorrow morning. Someone said that the week starts on Sunday, so should our contest and I say, "hell, yeah!" because that gave me an extra day to enjoy my food and sitting on m 184.5 lb ass. Hubby is also going to be joing me in this, so both of our pictures will be up tomorrow.

Noelle said...
January 3, 2010 at 2:56 AM

yeah, well, i didn't start today, either, and it's all zgirl's fault. she told me to start tomorrow, which is sunday, which is the start of the week, which makes sense to me because i am anal/ocd like that. i can't bear to post my weight on my blog because there are a couple of ppl that i don't really want knowing that kind of information, but i will be accountable and take a picture and post it then come back here and post my pounds. trust me, though, it's 100 pounds that i need to lose.

oh, yeah, and heartburn SUCKS. since i've started packing on the pounds, i have it EVERY DAY and sometimes ALL DAY. i'm hoping that will go away when some of this weight does.

Anonymous said...
January 3, 2010 at 7:58 AM

I am wishing all the participants the greatest success in your body reshaping, weight loss goals. make the new You last forever.


Sharon said...
January 3, 2010 at 9:37 AM

I have heartburn often. If I avoid chocolate and raw onions, it helps. By the way, my blog is located here:


Best of luck to all the participants! :)


Anonymous said...
January 3, 2010 at 11:04 AM

I am in! Advocate Mom. accidentaladvocate.blogspot.com. I cannot post a picture of my scale on my blog. I just cant do it because people who treat my son read my blog and I just cannot be that open. Sorry. So, I will post it in another place that is acceptable to the group. Is it this thing on your sidebar? I will check that out.


Anonymous said...
January 3, 2010 at 11:06 AM

Heart burn blows. I get it regularly. Just so you know a cup of milk will help just as well as antacids.

So I will weigh in today after I shower, which is shortly. However, today is football day, which means I will be drinking and eating a bunch of crap all day. So I'm "officially" starting tomorrow. I actually kind of already started by packing grapes and rice cakes for lunch at work.

Here we go! I'm ready to kick some ass!

TjRenee said...
January 3, 2010 at 1:28 PM

I know I shouldn't say this, but I've never had heartburn either. I'm sure the heartburn god will hit me hard now. But Hubman gets it ALL the time. So, from an onlookers view, I know what it's like. Not fun!

Yeah, who did you piss off to have such a shitty day like that? Yikes!

I'll be doing my official weigh in today - with a pic. Of course, right now the kids and Hubman are screaming Hunger!, so I've got to make lunch. Will have it up soon(I hope). My normal weigh in days will be Fridays though.

Anonymous said...
January 3, 2010 at 1:52 PM

good luck chica!!!

GunDiva said...
January 3, 2010 at 2:41 PM

FUCK! The damn post and pictures are up. Happy Fuckin' New Year!

TjRenee said...
January 3, 2010 at 4:23 PM

Okay, my post is up - with scale pic!

Queen of Feisty said...
January 3, 2010 at 4:37 PM

My husband cried laughing at my post. Don't think thats a good thing.

I hate heartburn. The first time I had it was a few years ago, and that was the last time. Holy shit I thought I was dying. I agree, along with Migranes not sure how people do it all the time.

Scale is up, a fat picture is up, and my "I wish" picture is up too. Enjoy the post! Game on!


Menopausal New Mom said...
January 3, 2010 at 4:51 PM

Hi, I'm on board too. Just did my Lose It Bitch post yesterday. Please add to me to your list although I'm going on a computer-free 3 week vacation starting this Saturday but my goal is to drop 35 pounds by April. I promise I will post a photo the minute I return! Don't own scales but have taken measurements and will chart my progress. I think the before photo will tell it like it is! Promise to get directly in the loop February 1

NYCGAL said...
January 3, 2010 at 7:28 PM

Just found you through a mutual blogging friend Menopausal New Mom http://menonewmom.blogspot.com/
I have started this weightloss/life change challenge once I saw it on Think Tank Mama's site and couldn't be happier about it! What a great motivator!
My weight loss goal is 45lbs. I am an emotional eater and when my Mom was in the dieing process, I packed on 70lbs in a year. I have done this most of my life when extreme stress took over my life, I turned to food for comfort. Last time after my divorce, I gained 100lbs and lost it through a low carb diet and living in Manhattan walking. I kept the weight off for 5 years until my Mom was diagnosed with cancer and I began taking care of her. I started my diet yesterday and am determined to reach my goal.
Good luck and will be following :)
Thanks again,

NYCGAL said...
January 3, 2010 at 7:29 PM

I have even posted my "before" pics YUK LOL

NYCGAL said...
January 3, 2010 at 7:30 PM

So after all that *phew* I'm in :D

Aunt Juicebox said...
January 3, 2010 at 7:56 PM

Meh. I may post my scale pic at Fatass Fridays, but not on Bacon.

Lola said...
January 3, 2010 at 8:30 PM

Since I'm not playing along, I wish you all great success!!!

Sorry about the power and the heartburn, girl. I hate heartburn!! I seem to get it in spurts, here and there, and red wine is the worst thing for it, I'm afraid ;(

Anonymous said...
January 3, 2010 at 9:38 PM

i talk to myself all the time. full on conversations. i'm okay with it.

good luck with the contest!

Happy Hour...Somewhere said...
January 3, 2010 at 10:33 PM

I took a pic of the scale weight...did you know socks weigh pounds and pounds, too? Cause I put a pair on to hide my ugly toenails and wow that number shot straight up. I will find a picture of me in all my fatitude and when it is all over, I will post the picture of my actual weight.

WolfePartyOf5 said...
January 4, 2010 at 3:21 AM

I am so excited for this even though I already fell off the wagon like all day today because I may have forgotten today was the big day!! Well, I think my weigh in days are going to be Monday's now - lol

Alex said...
January 4, 2010 at 6:24 AM

Put down the wine and I hate to say it...get on the treadmill.

It sucks.

The way I lost a chunk of weight last year is to do an hour of exercise a day, in the morning preferably. Everything after that was a no brainer and a glass of wine was heaven in the evening.

Good luck!

BigSis said...
January 4, 2010 at 9:41 AM

I'm in too! I have my post up after similar camera issues. I resorted to the camera phone and then couldn't get the picture big enough to see the number. We're good now, although this is my first day at work after giving up wine for this diet, so we'll see how well that plays out.


kys said...
January 4, 2010 at 12:00 PM

I'm in. I did my weigh-in and pic yesterday. But I'm NOT posting specifics. I'll e-mail them to you weekly if ya don't trust me.

Do I need to link up somewhere?

Laura said...
January 4, 2010 at 12:18 PM

Are you "Laura (and again)" at me?

If so I'm in the process of creating a new blog for just this. email me I'll send you the link.

If you were not "Laura (and again)" at me. Well then add me to the list woman!

Dual Mom said...
January 4, 2010 at 12:26 PM

LAURA........ohhhhh LAURA...it is you I'm looking at.

And guess what...I can't reply to your comment via email because you have the No Reply thingy on!!!!

JQ Brat said...
January 4, 2010 at 1:53 PM

My website is "If only I were invisible" at http://jqbrat.wordpress.com

I will be weighing in on Fridays, just so ya know.

Laura said...
January 4, 2010 at 2:09 PM

Really I have the no reply thing on? Geesh who freakin knew, I'll have to change that. Anywho here is the linky to my new dedicated only to fitness blog ;-)

Laura said...
January 4, 2010 at 2:16 PM

Is the "reply" thing working now? I think I fixed it.

Danielle said...
January 4, 2010 at 4:32 PM

Ok, so I was going to email you today to see what the exact rules were, but you posted it for me.
I guess I am starting 1/5 also since I haven't taken any pictures. I will tonight.
I am excited. We are going to rock!

amyndavid said...
January 4, 2010 at 5:50 PM

I want in on the fun too!! I just had a baby in October and my New Years Resolution is to lose all my baby fat!



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