I know it's almost Wednesday. However, Zgirl over at the Think Tank has come up with a fabfun new thingamabopperthingy for all you snarcastic bloggers. Thank you notes Tuesday with a twist. I couldn't let her grand unveiling pass by without participating. So even though I'm a day late, here's your chance to get in on the fun.
Dear Co-worker,
Thank you so much for the lovely sarcasm dripping from the words of your email . I really do love starting my morning with a cup of coffee and a bullshit email. While I realize you could be just having a really shitty day,and I appreciate a sarcastic snip as much as the next girl, can I recommend you proofread your emails before replying to an innocent inquiry made on my part? I have no problem dealing with a craptastic attitude when I deserve it, however, I've been known to slap a bitch when she gives me attitude that I don't deserve. You do understand that your budget has to go through my office before it's approved, right? Consider yourself warned.
Dear Sons of mine,
You have the next four days off of school. I'm so happy for you. This means, of course, that I'll need to buy double the groceries because when you roll out of bed at noon you'll be hungry. Sleeping is hard work, I know, my poor darlings. Stock up so you'll have lots of energy for playing those video games. By the way, when I come home from work that list of chores I left for each of you better be done. You know damn well I will not hesitate to kick you squarely in the arsehole. Thanking you in advance.
Dear High School,
No exams for general courses? Ingenious fucking plan. Way to challenge the students and teach them the value of hard work. And giving them the entire week off, brilliant. Really. It's no wonder you guys were put in charge of teaching and shaping the next generation. I feel so confident that my children are receiving a quality education. Thank you.
Dear scales,
I'm sorry I ripped your guts out. Really I am. But you had it coming. Your lack of cooperation is nothing short of mind boggling . You really should sit down for a chat with Mr. Treadmill, he'll set you straight on how hard I've been working. You'll be back on the losing track next week, right? Thanksomuch
Dear Weather,
-24 last week which was typical east coast weather. +7 today. Should I get my summer clothes back out? Could you make up your damn mind please? It's cold, it's warm, it's cold, oh wait now I'll blow some 100km winds just for shits and giggles and rain like a mofo. The yo yo is getting old, fast. And these temperature fluctuations, oh they do just grand things with the dirt road I live on. Just be winter already and get it the fuck over with please? Thank you.
Dear CTV,
Airing the entire Season 5 of Lost one week before the start of Season 6? Really? Fuck you're killing me here. Like the wait hasn't been bad enough now I have to contend with you dangling these recaps in front of me. Just put me in a coma until next Tuesday, please? Thank you!
Dear CTV,
Airing the entire Season 5 of Lost one week before the start of Season 6? Really? Fuck you're killing me here. Like the wait hasn't been bad enough now I have to contend with you dangling these recaps in front of me. Just put me in a coma until next Tuesday, please? Thank you!
Ahhhh that feels better. The world would be such a dark, terrible place without sarcasm, non?
I agree!