To Tattoo or Not to Tattoo

Say that really fast ten times.

Whether or not to get a tattoo isn't really a question, I have one. It's whether or not to get another one. I got the first one a year after Ex and I seperated. It was a total act of defiance on my part, me flipping the bird to him by permanently marking my own body (the logic isn't there...don't try to find it). He thought tats were low-class.  If you knew the man you would know JUST how pot meet kettle him thinking that was/is. He has a real problem with self-expression and I think it was more to do with that than an issue with tattooing. Anyex....I got one about eight years ago.

Very few people know that I have it. It's not something I talk about nor something I show off. Being that it's located on my bikini line it wouldn't really be appropriate to stroll into the staff room and announce, "Hey y'all...check out my new ink" while yanking down my pants. After eight years, I still love it. It reminds me that I'm strong enough for new beginnings, that I am unique. The whole experience was done solely for me, not because I had any urge to be a cool kid.  It was about no longer living under the thumb of someone else, no longer twisting myself to meet someone else's ideal of a "proper" wife and mother. The location meant that I would basically be the only person that saw it on a regular basis, and that's the way I wanted it. What is it you ask?

It's the chinese symbol for "strong woman". Yeah, the irony of the placement didn't escape me. Nor did it escape the guy doing the tat. He chuckled through the entire process. There's actually a pic of my bikini line on ths guys wall.

And now I think it's time for another one. Actually, I have thought it's time for another one about an hour after getting the first one, but could never decide on something that I wanted to permanently ink to my body. It had to have meaning for me. I'm not big on tattoos just for the sake of tattoos. I'm tossing around three ideas.

There is this -  Tattoo. For those of you too lazy to click on the damn link - it's an anagram of "carpe diem" - sieze the day in italian. I think it's beautiful. There is an anagram of "Life/Live", only written horizontally, rather than vertically. Then there's the lotus flower. The lotus flower, which grows abundantly in swamps in China, struggles to emerge from the mud only to blossom into one of the most beautiful flowers in the world. The only lotus design I've found that jumps out at me is done in deep deep purple, with shades of gray on the inside petals, absolutely stunningly beautiful but would probably cost several mortgage payments to have it done.  If I choose either of the ambigrams they will be solid black ink.

As for the placement, I'm thinking right in the middle of my back. My job is not one that would allow me to be sporting a sleeveless dress with tats showing. As with the first one, this is about me, not something I wish to share with the rest of the world (blogging about it is different...shutyourpiehole). I briefly considered the lower back but the term "tramp stamp" makes me cringe and I'm closer to 40 than I am to 30 (christ that makes me cringe too). My defiant streak wants me to say piss on cringing at the term and go for the lower back.

Here's where you come in. I want to know your thoughts on this, I want to know if you have tats, what they are. I want to know if you think I'm retarded (ok....yeah quit rollin' your damn eyes). I want to know if you think I'm retarded to be thinking about getting another tattoo AT MY AGE.....**gasping in horror**

Let's hear it...I want brutal honesty.