So How Was Your Decade?

2010. A new decade. I usually don't pull my head out of my ass long enough to do any type of serious self-reflection but in honour of the fast approaching new year I thought I would make a list of accomplishments, failures and whatnot over the past 10 years.

So yeah, what have I done over the past decade? Let's see, the most life altering moment was when I left my first husband. That was fun. A game the whole family can play (literally). I don't recommend it unless of course you wake up one morning and rather than rolling over to issue a sleepy "good morning sweetheart" you roll over and contemplate sneaking out of bed, heading to the kitchen to grab the biggest knife you can find and doing bodily harm to your significant other. Yeah, then it might be time to reconsider your direction in life.

I learned what it felt like to almost lose a child. I can't say I really recommend this one either. Though the upside of this is that that child will be more precious to you than anything else in life, forever.

I decided three years ago my life wasn't chaotic enough and going to University to obtain my degree would be a great idea. It will probably take me 20 years at the rate I'm going to get said degree. I have visions of walking across the stage with the assistance of a walker, and having my Depends undergarments fail me miserably at the most inopportune time.

I bought my first house, all by myself. Signing the mortgage made me feel like I was finally a real grown up. Which is odd considering having children didn't give me this feeling.

I learned that friends will save your life. Their kindness will sometimes bring  you to your knees. Family is wonderful, but friends are there because they want to be, not because they have to be.

I lived by myself for the first time ever, and learned that I liked it....alot.

I traveled to Europe and found true love (or a serious case of true lust).  And learned that sometimes love is not enough.

Four days before boarding a plane to Paris (a LIFELONG dream of mine) I had to cancel the trip because  my daughter was in the neurology unit of a children's hospital. This taught me that my own hopes and dreams aren't nearly as important (insignificant really) as the hopes and dreams of my children and I would sacrifice ANYTHING in my own life, to make their dreams come true.

I've learned that underneath the mother, wife, housecleaner, chaffeur, worker...there lurks a woman. Although my life has been shaped by all of these roles, I'm something more than the culmination of these roles.

I am a leader. This was one of the most startling things I learned about myself. For someone who spent all of her teen years and a good deal of her early twenties following others, this was a bit of a revelation. Perhaps this revelation comes to everyone, with age and/or experience.

I'm not the same person I was when the world rang in the new millenium. I don't have the same ideals, goals or values. I would say I've completely reinvented myself but that would sound totally retarded.

At the end of the next decade I'll be closer to 50 than I will be to 40. I'll have kids in their 20's who may have kids of their own. This of course would make me one of the youngest, coolest grandmas in the world.

I'm looking forward to seeing who I will be.

I hope 2010 is full of happiness for all of you.