Houston...We Have Liftoff!!!

Brought to you exclusively by Dual Mom on
Note: This post, for the most part, was written last night, I passed out before posting it.

Holy shit! The house is CLEAN, the tree is UP, the shopping is DONE, the fucking fudge is MADE, I got my hair CUT today...I am superwoman, hear me roar. Now y'all excuse me while I pass out from exhaustion.

Are you tired? I'm freakin tired (well Dual Mom, perhaps you should go to bed, it is almost midnight and you do have to go to work in the morning, oh but no, posting on your blog and having a glass of wine is a much better idea than sleep, oh wait those toothpicks holding your eyelids open are slippin...just sec I'll fix them for you, ok isn't that better?) What? It's not like all of you don't have conversations with yourself....while typing. Shut up.

So yeah, it's done. And the haircut (I know I'm not supposed to start a sentence with and)...the haircut is fabulous and I think I have girly love for my new hairdresser. I swear if I were a lesbian and she weren't married, I'd so be stalking that beotch. She had me doubled over with laughter and threatened to cut my ear off if I didn't stop. It doesn't get much better than someone threatening you with bodily harm after knowing you for only 20 minutes. Unless of course she THEN proceeds to massage your head for 15 minutes, it should be illegal for something to feel THAT good. Then she did the whole hot towel thing and I just about melted into a puddle in the chair. Of course I got a bit of the whole raised eyebrow from the boss when I came back from lunch an hour late with my hair 3 inches shorter, but whateva, it's Christmas dude.

Look what Zgirl had made, I'm soooooooooooooooo excited!



So to those of you that have asked me if you can partake in this little knock down, drag out, kick em in the groin challenge that we will commence on Jan 2.........YES! Go over to the Think Tank, say hi to Zgirl and grab the button. What are you waiting for, that weight isn't going to fall off all on it's own beothces. Display it proudly, shout it from the rooftops, "We will be skinny bitches...we will no longer have to hide our muffin tops under really fugly long shirts".

Now, I'm off to get ready for work. Let's see if I love the new haircut as much today as I did yesterday. You know a new hairstyle/cut is a bit like a one night stand, seems like a great idea until you wake up the next morning only to discover the error of your ways.

One more thing, I got this comment from a new reader:

"I've decided to make up an "I'm scared of you but not necessarily in a bad way" award, just so I can give it to you."

I laughed, oh how I laughed. Is it wrong that it amuses me greatly that people are scared of me? I mean c'mon I am a PUSSYCAT. Meow. Seriously. I'm going to stalk his ass until he makes this award just so I can pass it on because none of y'all have a "I'm scared of you but not necessarily in a bad way" award.

Shit I'm late. Must fly. Happy day.

17 comments:

Daffy said...
December 22, 2009 at 9:23 AM

Zgirl is the fuckin' bomb! Is she not?!? And so are you (don't shoot!). Your hair looks great! I love it!

See...I can say that because I had my hair done over the weekend. When I returned to work yesterday a coworker said, 'Oh...you did something different. The color?'
"Yes" I replied, "I'm not sure if it like it darker just yet but it may grow on me"

"It looked better the other way. I don't like it that color" she says.

Merry effn Christmas to YOU ya hag! (her...not you....don't shoot!)

Shandal said...
December 22, 2009 at 11:43 AM

I totally understand the one night stand thing with a new haircut! You should post a pic! ;)

gayle said...
December 22, 2009 at 11:51 AM

I hope it's ok but I am confused (my daughters say that happens a lot) and have a few questions...How does Daffy know what your hair looks like? and do you like it this morning? If I make you an award will you follow me? Did I miss something about the weight lose thing because I just notice the "thing" on your side bar and did you tell us we were suppose to go there or what? and can I play if I don't grab the button (which I LOVE) because I am afraid that some of my followers that are related to me would flip out if they saw the word "bitch". I know I care to much what my .....think. I DO LOVE the button I DO.. Now everyone probably thinks I'm nuts and I should probably delete this but what the hell....I am hitting Publish before I think any more

The Only Girl said...
December 22, 2009 at 1:28 PM

What? No before and after pics of the hair? awwwwwww . . .

Martinis or Diaper Genies? said...
December 22, 2009 at 2:55 PM

I'm in your club. People are also scared of me. Fear is healthy.

PS I knew you could do it.

adrienzgirl said...
December 22, 2009 at 3:13 PM

So basically what you are saying is you are Scary Spice?

Monique-aka-Surferwife23 said...
December 22, 2009 at 4:23 PM

I aspire to scare people. That's why I like you.

And I like to start my sentences with And, see?! Do you think I annoy people when I do that?

Good. I will do it more.

Nathanael Rey said...
December 22, 2009 at 4:57 PM

u don't scare me! :-P

vinomom said...
December 22, 2009 at 5:38 PM

I totally love starting sentences with AND. I'm still debating whether or not I am going to join the weight loss thing. Cuz I don't want to join if I'm going to half ass it.

I had to LOL at your conversation with yourself. I've had that same conversation with myself sooo many times. It goes like this: Shit, Vinomom I can't imagine why you are so fucking tired when you never go to bed before midnight and three glasses of wine...

Kristin said...
December 22, 2009 at 8:18 PM

Ughhhhhh. I'm so jealous. I was so on a roll and then...my lady times hit with full force. I'm now just blogging from the couch. Sigh.

Aunt Juicebox said...
December 23, 2009 at 1:33 AM

You are one of the reasons I'm looking forward to the new year.

Mad Woman said...
December 23, 2009 at 3:46 AM

My gawd you make me laugh. I don't know how I coped before you were in my life.

If I threaten you with bodily harm will you pass on that award to me? I promise to hurt you gently :-)

Secretia said...
December 23, 2009 at 5:26 AM

That scary scale of truth! Let me eat all the fudge you made first.

Secretia

Kmama said...
December 23, 2009 at 11:24 AM

Oooh, I love a great haircut...and if they massage my head while washing my hair...more tip for them!! Heaven.

Happy Holidays!

Tiffany said...
December 23, 2009 at 1:56 PM

that award is hilarious!

and i talk to myself all of time...yes, i'm a little bit crazy.

kys said...
December 23, 2009 at 9:52 PM

I guess I'm too stupid to be scared of you.

Laura said...
December 24, 2009 at 12:05 PM

Look at you! Last week you were all "I suck at life I'm so far behind" and now you not only have kicked life's ass, but you took names & you look great.

Alishia Keys is singing "Superwoman" just for you! (ps if you have not heard that song, you must listen to it immediately)

Merry Christmas!