Merry Christmas Y'all

It's 9:30 on Christmas morning and can I just tell you how much I hate not having my kids with me? Oh my god it sucks dirty monkey balls, it really does. I feel wrong, everything feels wrong. The presents are all wrapped under the tree, I have my Christmas pj's on and it's Christmas morning but it's so quiet. Will you please join me in wishing a raging case of the gonorrhea on SWSNBN? If it weren't for her my kids would be with me right now. I get that I'll burn in hell for wishing such a thing on another human on Christmas day. It's a risk I'm willing to take.

So to entertain myself I thought I would write about my exciting day yesterday. It started out sedately enough. I actually slept in until 9:00am. Upon arising I drank a pot of coffee, cleaned up the mess from my party the night before, wrapped some presents and then got ready to go in town. I had no reason to go shopping, but I was bored. So I hop in the car and as I'm driving down the road this car comes flying up behind me. I'm in a small community, we're not driving on a highway, and I'm doing slightly over the speed limit. This chick is in one helluva hurry and has to forcefully brake to avoid hitting me. I gueestimate she was probably doing about 50km over the speed limit. She can't pass me so I speed up a bit which has me going about 15-20km over the speed limit. I refuse to drive any faster. She is pissed. I'm watching her in my rearview mirror and her hands are going and she's talking on her cell phone and she's craning her neck out her side window to see if there's an opportunity to pass me, all the while I'm thinking...where the hell's the fire lady?

So we come to a set of lights and we're both turning left into town. The light is green, I wait for a few cars to go through, there's a small break in the traffic, I scoot out and turn. I realize she's turning right behind me and there is no chance in hell she's going to make it through the light before the truck that's coming in the opposite direction (travelling straight through the light, he obviously had the right of way). I think I may have actually closed my eyes because I knew it was coming. There's the screech of brakes and the loud crash of impact. It took seconds but I remember sitting in my car chanting to myself "Please don't let her be dead, please don't let her be dead, please don't let her be dead" before I got my car stopped and sprung out. The truck had hit her passenger side door and drove her about 10 feet through the intersection, narrowly avoiding another car.

She was in her car, she was fine. The guy driving the truck had gotten out of his truck and he was throwing up on the side of the road. He was that shaken by what had happened he just lost his shit. She got out of her car and I started to make my way over to her, assuming she would be shaken and in shock. She strides over to the guy and starts SHOUTING at him. I stood there with my mouth fucking hanging completely open. I have never in all my life been so amazed at the audacity of another person. Here is the guy, who did absolutely nothing wrong, he's throwing up he's so upset that he hit her (she didn't give him any other alternative but to hit the stupid bitch) and she's screaming at HIM!?!?!

The cops arrive, the ambulance arrive, the tow trucks arrive. Meanwhile this intersection is completely closed to traffic on Christmas eve (main road into the city) and people are PISSED.  A cop approaches me because it was obvious from where my car was parked that I witnessed the whole thing. I briefly considered telling the cop that she must have misjudged the time she had to get through the intersection. We all make mistakes right? We've all driven faster than we should and we've all been in a hurry to get somewhere. Then I watched her as she stood by the side of the road, pissed off and looking at her watch. The guy driving the truck was as white as a sheet and his entire body was shaking. And she's looking at her watch. So I said to the cop, "You know what, I'm not sure where that chick was headed but she followed me for about 15km. The entire time she rode about 6 inches from my back bumper, she was on her phone and it was blatantly obvious she was in one hell of a hurry. She pulled out right in front of him, he didn't have time to even think about trying to avoid her. There's no doubt who's at fault here, but do you know what's worse, she got out of her car and started screaming at the poor guy who hit here, while he's throwing up on the side of the road. As far as I'm concerned she's a menace to society and you should lock her up. Truck driving buddy should have thrown up on HER. Can I go now?"

Is it evil of me that I derived a little bit of pleasure knowing this stupid bitch would probably not get to her intended destination? Of course she completely fucked up another person's Christmas eve, not to mention everyone trying to get into town for the 2 hours the intersection was closed. She showed no remorse for any of it. I still can't figure out how she thought she was going to get through that intersection before the truck was upon her.

The whole episode just proves a saying my mother used to have.... some people should have been eaten while their bones were soft.

On that note, I wish each and everyone of you a very Merry Hairy Christmas (as opposed to the raging case of gonorrhea I'm wishing on SWSNBN).

Loves to you all
Dual Mom