LOST

No, not me, the TV show.

I think I've said before that I do not watch TV (the dementia people...you can't expect me to remember whether I've mentioned something in a post last month). However, I do watch TV shows. No, I haven't lost my mind (ok maybe I have but not in this case). You see, I rent seasons of tv when they come out on DVD. Then I proceed to sit on my ass for an entire weekend and watch an entire season of a television show in two days, commercial free. None of this having to endure a week wait to find out what happens next shit. Plus with the dementia and all I can never remember what happened the week prior.

The exception to this rule has been Lost. I was a Lostie before it was cool to be a Lostie. I was there from the very first episode when Jack stumbles around the beach saving lives with his sexy good looks and rock hard abs medical prowess.  I was there when the fuckers writers went on strike and screwed up the entire season. I was a die hard Lostie who would break sound barriers to get home in time to watch my show. Until last year. Oh dear producers of Lost how you have gone astray. How you have disappointed my poor faithful heart. What the fuck do you think you're doing? Who the fuck do you think you are? Ok, the mysterious smoke monster I was willing to let slide. The polar bears in what is obviously a tropical climate I could overlook. The dead coming back to prance through the jungle I could abide. The mysterious healing powers of the island even made a little bit of sense. The killing of dear loveable Charlie almost sent me over the edge but I recovered and continued to watch.

Then in season five you started with the 3 timelines running simultaneously bullshit. Every new episode made me dizzy. It's 1954, oh now it's 2008, no now it's 2003, oh look now it's 2008 and 1977 at the same time!!! Holy hell where's my dram.amine? To make matters worse, you weren't revealing any answers to the mysteries from the previous four seasons (like you PROMISED us you rat bastards), you were just adding more questions.  You pissed me off boys. Pissed me off to the point where I stopped. That's right I stopped watching your fucked up show, take that! Yeah, I know you were quivering in your Prada loafers because you lost ONE viewer. Halfway through last season I said, "Dual Mom, that's enough..no more will you put up with these fuckers playing with your mind and heartstrings." So I stopped watching.

Guess what I did last night? That's right, I rented the entire 5th season of Lost which was released on Tuesday. So instead of Christmas shopping and decorating you know what I'll be doing, right? It's ok though, I still have 13 weeks left before Christmas, right?

Ohhh it's 13 days you say. Oh well, whatever. I'm sure the Christmas Shopping/Decorating fairie will stop by any day now to get these things done for me. No worries.

So the ass-groove in my couch awaits. What will you do this weekend? If you're being all proactive and getting shit done, please lie to me.