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No, not me, the TV show.

I think I've said before that I do not watch TV (the dementia people...you can't expect me to remember whether I've mentioned something in a post last month). However, I do watch TV shows. No, I haven't lost my mind (ok maybe I have but not in this case). You see, I rent seasons of tv when they come out on DVD. Then I proceed to sit on my ass for an entire weekend and watch an entire season of a television show in two days, commercial free. None of this having to endure a week wait to find out what happens next shit. Plus with the dementia and all I can never remember what happened the week prior.

The exception to this rule has been Lost. I was a Lostie before it was cool to be a Lostie. I was there from the very first episode when Jack stumbles around the beach saving lives with his sexy good looks and rock hard abs medical prowess.  I was there when the fuckers writers went on strike and screwed up the entire season. I was a die hard Lostie who would break sound barriers to get home in time to watch my show. Until last year. Oh dear producers of Lost how you have gone astray. How you have disappointed my poor faithful heart. What the fuck do you think you're doing? Who the fuck do you think you are? Ok, the mysterious smoke monster I was willing to let slide. The polar bears in what is obviously a tropical climate I could overlook. The dead coming back to prance through the jungle I could abide. The mysterious healing powers of the island even made a little bit of sense. The killing of dear loveable Charlie almost sent me over the edge but I recovered and continued to watch.

Then in season five you started with the 3 timelines running simultaneously bullshit. Every new episode made me dizzy. It's 1954, oh now it's 2008, no now it's 2003, oh look now it's 2008 and 1977 at the same time!!! Holy hell where's my dram.amine? To make matters worse, you weren't revealing any answers to the mysteries from the previous four seasons (like you PROMISED us you rat bastards), you were just adding more questions.  You pissed me off boys. Pissed me off to the point where I stopped. That's right I stopped watching your fucked up show, take that! Yeah, I know you were quivering in your Prada loafers because you lost ONE viewer. Halfway through last season I said, "Dual Mom, that's enough..no more will you put up with these fuckers playing with your mind and heartstrings." So I stopped watching.

Guess what I did last night? That's right, I rented the entire 5th season of Lost which was released on Tuesday. So instead of Christmas shopping and decorating you know what I'll be doing, right? It's ok though, I still have 13 weeks left before Christmas, right?

Ohhh it's 13 days you say. Oh well, whatever. I'm sure the Christmas Shopping/Decorating fairie will stop by any day now to get these things done for me. No worries.

So the ass-groove in my couch awaits. What will you do this weekend? If you're being all proactive and getting shit done, please lie to me.


Sharon said...
December 12, 2009 at 10:22 AM

I'm watching Season 5 of Lost on Netflix streaming. Hurley just got himself arrested, on purpose! Don't blog spoilers, please?!

gayle said...
December 12, 2009 at 10:54 AM

Love lost but I'm like you last season was soo confusing!!!

I want to clean this weekend ( well don't want to but have to) But I am sick so who knows what I will do. Wish I could hire a maid.

Anonymous said...
December 12, 2009 at 10:58 AM

I've never watched a single episode but that was hilarious. Wheres my dramamine? Hah! Great stuff.

qandlequeen said...
December 12, 2009 at 11:13 AM

I'm stranded without a car. I might be forced to be productive. That is after I catch up on my DVR recordings for the week. And a nap. I plan to get a nap in today.

Conquer The Monkey said...
December 12, 2009 at 11:33 AM

I never got into LOST, but I have rented seasons of 24 before and spent days just watching it and doing nothing else!!!!!

Carol said...
December 12, 2009 at 12:06 PM

Ward and June have done the weekend sit-in for a few HBO series. I love it! And now that we got rid of the premium channels we will be doing a whole lot more.

My weekend plan so far is: I "might" clean the floors (if my head will stop pounding) and maybe a little sewing...

Aunt Juicebox said...
December 12, 2009 at 5:11 PM

I had to kind of skip over this post. I have never seen Lost and plan to start renting them when the show is over. I wanted to watch it when it first came out, but I kept forgetting it was on. I always do that. And if I can't watch a show from the beginning, I refuse to watch it at all until it's on dvd or in syndication.

adrienzgirl said...
December 12, 2009 at 8:31 PM

I tried to watch Lost. I tried to love Lost. I did. I love JJ Abrams. I watched Alias seasons 1 and 2 just like you are watching Lost, so that I could watch season 3 real time.

But I gotta tell ya, Lost just made me, well, lost. (poor pun I know)

Even with Mr. McHottie from Part of 5, I just couldn't do it. The mystical hooey creature that they just dropped the storyline on? Yeah....NO.

kys said...
December 12, 2009 at 9:50 PM

I was there from Day 1, too. And they kind of pissed me off last season. But I. Am. Not. A. Quitter. (unless we're talking about exercise or dieting) so I will soldier on till the end.

PS My weekend has been fun-filled. I just got finished scrubbing out the bathroom sink. It was filled with my son's vomit. Jealous?

Noelle said...
December 12, 2009 at 10:51 PM

i've never seen lost...but i have done the exact same thing with the sopranos series. i sat down and watched every. single. episode. in three days.

MaeRae said...
December 13, 2009 at 12:57 PM

never a big lost fan, but definately a fan of ass prints on the couch every once in a while.

Lola said...
December 13, 2009 at 2:32 PM

"Lost" lost me a couple seasons ago. Too confusing, which gets too annoying for me. Loved it in the beginning, though.

blueviolet said...
December 13, 2009 at 6:37 PM

My husband is just like you. He waits to watch everything on dvd so he can just back to back to back them. It makes sense!