I'm Such a Stupid Ass Sometimes

Brought to you exclusively by Dual Mom on
Do you ever wonder somedays how you manage to get dressed in the morning without assistance?

Do you ever do something so monumentally stupid or absent minded that it makes you wonder if someone slipped some type of drug in your morning coffee?

Yeah, me too.

So yesterday I vented about the broken xbox, which sucks hairy monkey balls. Keep in mind I work at a College. So I sat at work yesterday, fretting about the fact that I may have to actually entertain and interact with my children because of the broken xbox when it dawned on me....I work at a College. Three doors down from my office is an ENTIRE fucking class of Electronics students. Not only is their an entire class of students, there are two instructors who have a combined 40 years of experience fixing electronical shit.

Duh. Fucking duh Dual Mom.

So I'm heading on down there soon to bat my eyelashes to see if I can get one of them to fix the box.

*crickets*


Okay, second monumental stupid moment from yesterday...

I was standing at the counter washing mushrooms last night (not washing mushrooms is just skanky gross) and I realized the water wasn't really hot. Oh well, something sparkly caught my attention and I forgot about the lukewarm water. Fast forward 3 hours and I'm cleaning up the kitchen and Jimmy is screaming from the bathroom, "Goddammit there's no hot water".

Ooops. Apparently I forgot to order oil. Sorry Jimmy boy. Cold shower will not kill you.

Just FYI - if you ever happen to run out of oil - you can put diesel in your oil tank. I had no idea. I can also "bleed a line" now. Really, there's no end to my talents. Apparently remembering to check the gauge on the oil tank is not in my repetoire of skills. Oh well, no one is perfect.

37 comments:

Angie said...
April 7, 2010 at 9:12 AM

Were the electronic guru's able to help?!?

A cold shower once in while will make him more greatful for what we have... right?

Ian said...
April 7, 2010 at 10:05 AM

Something sparkly caught your eye LOL. That's cute and you know it.

Hillbilly Duhn said...
April 7, 2010 at 10:32 AM

I am so glad to know that I'm not the only person in the world to get side tracked by sparkly things!! :)

Yankee Girl said...
April 7, 2010 at 10:54 AM

I really hope one of those college boys was able to fix your box.

June said...
April 7, 2010 at 11:07 AM

Damn those sparkly things... I see them ALL THE TIME!

Nothing ever gets done "directly" unless I repeat it in my head a thousand times to stay on task!

Salt said...
April 7, 2010 at 11:10 AM

Diesel can go in the oil tank? That's interesting! I'll have to pass that along to my father because his house has oil heat and over the winter, the oil truck got snowed into their driveway for about 4 hours when they came out for emergency refill.

I hope those students can fix your XBox!

And if it makes you feel any better, I wore two completely different shoes to work not long ago. And didn't realize it until about 2 in the afternoon.

Mrsblogalot said...
April 7, 2010 at 12:07 PM

Look what I have learned here, I have been pouring in Weson oil this whole time and wondering why it wouldn't work. I wonder if deisel works on stretch marks .

Mae Rae said...
April 7, 2010 at 12:28 PM

well, see, i am not the only one with duh moments.

Deisel? Huh, who knew.

SaMama said...
April 7, 2010 at 1:02 PM

I use the local college kids for everything! From nanny to 3-piece instrumental ensemble at a party (seriously). Plus you get the 'feel-good' of advancing their education. (Okay, maybe not. The feel good is from saving your wallet/sanity.)

Laura said...
April 7, 2010 at 1:12 PM

That is something I would completely do myself. I'm horrible about waiting til the last minute to get something done.

MiMi said...
April 7, 2010 at 1:21 PM

My hubs has a pay as you go cell phone and I've let that damn thing expire every months for 6 months.

middle child said...
April 7, 2010 at 3:20 PM

At times I actually DO have my man help me get dressed!
Oh,...ditto on the sparkles which, by the way is not the same as; "OH LOOK! A chicken!"

Danielle said...
April 7, 2010 at 4:46 PM

You should look up the health benefits of a cold shower. They are amazing! Just sayin!
They are kinda like the benefits of lots of red wine

Juliana said...
April 7, 2010 at 4:54 PM

Yep, of course we all do. I am not really a blonde and I have to earn this hair color!!!!

Linda Medrano said...
April 7, 2010 at 5:02 PM

HFMB You are one amazingly smart woman. I think you take after me.

Drama Queen said...
April 7, 2010 at 5:22 PM

Take the electronic geeks some cookies, and you'll have them eating out of your hand. ;)

Monique-aka-Surferwife23 said...
April 7, 2010 at 6:13 PM

I was following along so nicely until the whole you forgot to order oil part.

What does that even mean?

Oil Tank?

Is this like a water heater?

I feel like an idiot.

alley said...
April 7, 2010 at 7:37 PM

I just found your blog, and I love it.

Around here its propane we run out of. Still a bummer though.

~J said...
April 7, 2010 at 7:50 PM

You're so multi-talented!!

I have an award for you..no rules, no obligation! :)

http://boobiesbabiesblog.blogspot.com/2010/04/some-awards-fyi.html

Sarah With Scissors said...
April 7, 2010 at 8:41 PM

I'm wondering how I'm managing to get dressed these days... of course it's mostly due to the copious amounts of booze I've been drinking.

I'm so glad I don't have to check the oil gauge as that is something I would never remember to do.

Kat said...
April 7, 2010 at 9:14 PM

Wow! You are definitely learning! Bleeding a line, huh? I never knew how to do that. What I DID learn when I was in a similar predicament is that there is no telling what a teenage boy can do with a pair of plyers and a shut off gas line :)

Kiera said...
April 7, 2010 at 9:25 PM

Im right there with surferwife. haha. i got lost after the 'forgot to order oil' part. am i sheltered? probably.

Michelle Pixie said...
April 7, 2010 at 10:02 PM

I too was wondering if the electronic guys ever helped you out of your little pickle?

I have no idea what "bleed a line" means but it sounds very complicated and call me impressed!

Lisa said...
April 7, 2010 at 10:10 PM

OK, In Texas, hot water comes from the faucet. If it runs out..wait a while and the hot water heater heats it back up? Oil? You have to boil oil to have a bath? What is this? Medieval times? And what is this about you blood letting to fix the problem? What kind of voodoo do you doo doo where you live? :)

jessalyn said...
April 7, 2010 at 10:23 PM

i am still traumatized over the thought of a broken xbox. that would mean i would have to entertain manfriend. like, that xbox is a very important 3rd member in our relationship. thats scary for reals.

Lisa said...
April 7, 2010 at 10:56 PM

Oh, Dual Mom, does this mean we are now soul mates because I became your oil muse? But just so you know, just because I will make out on the first date, does not mean I will rub you down with all this oil you keep obsessing about. I may be cheap; hell, I might be pretty easy...but there are lines I just won't cross... :)

Menopausal New Mom said...
April 7, 2010 at 11:55 PM

At this rate you won't ever want a man around again, you're gonna be able to handle any emergency!

adrienzgirl said...
April 8, 2010 at 3:17 AM

See all this time I thought you were a brunette, or perhaps a redhead like me. Now I find out you are in fact a blond? Fuck! How depressing.

Tracie said...
April 8, 2010 at 10:01 AM

You're practically a McGyver type now.

Daffy said...
April 8, 2010 at 10:24 AM

I'm sure I asked before but I think I'll ask again....

Will you marry me?

Unknown Mami said...
April 8, 2010 at 4:25 PM

I was washing mushrooms yesterday thinking that I had been told you are not supposed to wash mushrooms, but they are so friggin' dirty. How can you not wash them? I don't think diesel would clean mushrooms, do you?

Aunt Juicebox said...
April 8, 2010 at 5:31 PM

I hope they can fix the xbox. We've had our Wii for like, 2 years, but we hardly use it. I'd be super pissed though if it broke. I've had my PS1 since, um, eons ago. Same with PS2, and we just recently gave away a still working original xbox. They just don't make shit like they used to. Fuck, I'm old.

Aphrodite's Mortal Friend (ME) said...
April 8, 2010 at 6:43 PM

OK- I not only wash mushrooms, but I peel them ... is that like totally bizzaroh or what! I mean come on- I know where they grew!

gayle said...
April 8, 2010 at 10:47 PM

I would say if you can do all that you are pretty damn smart!!

*LLUVIA* said...
April 9, 2010 at 12:56 AM

oil tank?

When I was in Mexico we had this thing called the boiler; it had like a chimney type compartment on the bottom and you added wood and light a fire. You wait till the water heats up, and then you can shower. You gotta have someone keep adding wood so your water won't go cold.

I imagine that's more or less how an oil tank works? I don't know.

25BAR said...
April 11, 2010 at 9:02 AM

of games and mushrooms.

GunDiva said...
April 11, 2010 at 1:36 PM

I really had to laugh at this, because the same day I ran out of propane, which is what heats our water. Only, we don't get lukewarm water to warn us we're getting low. Noooooo....we can be taking a nice, cozy, hot shower one second and the next be screeching like a banshee when the first blast of ice cold water hits.