And holy hair monkey balls I'm going to follow the rules, which include telling you 10 honest things about myself.
I am the QUEEN of parallel parking. And I love showing off this skill. I never ever denied being a fucking spaz people.
I like living by myself. Though I have a boyfriend, I would never "live" with him or any other man for that matter. At 36 I have discovered that I don't like comprimising, I don't like cleaning up after people that have not come out of my vagina and I'm pretty fucking inflexible when it comes to "my" space.
I think we should bring the corset and hoop skirts back. I want to wear a big ass dress with one of those hoopy crinoline things underneath it. I want to do my hair in curls and pile it all on top of my head and powder my face so that it's white and carry a fan. Seriously.
I'm a huge fan of the brazilian bikini wax.
If you asked me to list 5 things about my physical self that I like, I couldn't do it. Can you?
I love foreign accents. English, dutch, irish, french...it doesn't matter. I can't even think about an accent paired with a man in uniform, or a really good suit. Let's not go there.
I work three day weeks from the end of June until the 1st of September. Don't be jealous. I'm seriously considering getting a second job which will pretty much put the fucks to this practice and make me want to hang myself.
I may have said the word "pussy" during Happy Hour Friday (yes happy hour gets capital letters) night, in front of the VP and a Director. It was one of those moments - I got the p-u-s out, and when the entire table stopped talking and turned to look at me I realized what I was about to say. Goddamn that brain/mouth filter that doesn't work.
I've never texted. Ever.
Bed sheets that have been hung out on the clothesline to dry make me happy.
Scribe at Scribing Life a fellow Canadian eh gave me the sunshine award (which for some reason won't insert into this post). What's even better than the award is the kind words she had to say:
Dual Mom at We're at Dad's That Week: I'm not a mommy blogger by any stretch of the imagination, but after I was introduced to her through Bacon is My Lover (another brilliant blog, by the way), I was a fan. She's more than a mommy blogger and I'm not apt to call her that. She's more than a mom. She's more than a blogger. She's a self-described heartless bitch and I love it (and her blog).
I'm more people! Dammit bow before my greatness. Or as Jimmy said to me earlier, "Nothing says obey me like a head on a stick". To which I responded, "Or a public flogging." What? Talk of corporal punishment is good fun!
Okay, enough narcissism for one day! Feel free to make fun of me in the comments.