Gratitude With Attitude

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Think Tank Momma

It's that time again. Time to give thanks to all people and things that have managed to piss you off. Thank the powers that be that a multitude of people/things have managed to rub me the wrong way this past week. Want to play along? Hop over to the Think Tank and link up with Zgirl (just click above).

Dear bloggers,

I don't read for one day only to wake up this morning to 107 posts in my reader. Do you people not have anything better to do? Jeesssshhh.

Hitting the "Mark All Read" Button
Bad Blogger

Dear daughter,

TTYL. Yes, I know that it means talk to you later. No need for the look of utter shock and surprise. I also know BTW means by the way, OMG - Oh my god. You see dear daughter, even though dinosaurs roamed the earth when I was a teenager and we believed the planet was flat, I'm pretty sure MY generation invented TTYL. It wasn't you and your tweeny little friends that discovered the time-saving greatness of computer acronyms.

One Kool Kat


Fuck off. Seriously fuck off. In what world is it ok for you to tell MY almost 18 year old son that if he spends any more of his money WHILE HE'S IN AT HIS MOTHER'S HOUSE you're going to take his bank card off of him? His father did not say a word about him buying a video game but you feel it's your lot in life to reprimand him for spending HIS money?

Let's break this down shall we?

Item 1 - You're his father's slut girlfriend. Period. My children have a mother, a damn good mother that is more than willing to rip your face off and shit down your throat if you don't watch your step. Back off bitch.

Item 2 - He's almot 18 years old - short of hiring hookers or buying drugs, he can do pretty much anything he wants with his money, his money that he earned at his job and you have no say in the matter.

Item 3 - Take his bank card off him? Haha be sure to tell me when that action is going down and I will bring popcorn because that is bound to be entertainment at its' finest. He's 6'2" .... you don't reach 5 feet in heels.  It would be the most entertaining game of "keep away" I've watched in a long time. Not that I would ever condone such a thing...just sayin.

So to recap - fuck off.


Dear Technology -

I now am the proud owner of 3 Ipods that no longer work and a broken Xbox 360 that gleefully flashes ERROR 73 at me. I'm really glad I spent over $300 on a piece of hardware that my children enjoyed for TWO WHOLE years. Wow, that's value for your money, isn't it?

Oh of course I can send it back to Mircrosoft (antichrist) and they'll repair it for me. Let me just pull the $150 out of my arse and then I'll go back and dig for the cost of shipping. Let's not even talk about what it's going to do to my life to have two teenage boys without a game system for six weeks.

This means all three kids will want access to the Mac - at the same time. There will be bickering, fighting, hair pulling and teeth gnashing - and the kids will be upset too. What's that you say? Yes, I have a laptop, you don't honestly think I'm going to share my laptop with my kids do you? Remember the juice debacle?

Please send drugs, for the love of all that is holy if you care about me at all send drugs.


Mae Rae said...
April 6, 2010 at 11:01 AM

I need to stop laughing. I love your thank you's. They are a pleasure. Just for the record, i want to be there whent he card is taken away too, i don't like popcorn so I will bring the twizzlers.

My Mercurial Nature said...
April 6, 2010 at 11:24 AM

Can you come and deal with my Ex's new wife, too? But seriously, SM interference is something I don't tolerate in any form and I'd be fucking livid if she decided to talk to my kid that way.

Kmama said...
April 6, 2010 at 11:32 AM

LOL I'd like to see the girlfriend try to take away the bank card as well. That would be entertaining!

Oh, and I don't share my laptop either. ;-)

adrienzgirl said...
April 6, 2010 at 11:48 AM

Oh my goodness. What is it with these damn women and their "I'm going to pretend to be your mother attitudes". Stupid bitches. You can tell my children what the rules are in YOUR home while they are VISITING. But, back off when they are at MY HOME. You don't make the rules here BITCH!

And life without game systems is worth just shelling out the extra $300 for a new system. Just sayin'

Mrsblogalot said...
April 6, 2010 at 11:51 AM

LOMFL! You kill me! Isn't great to have a place like this to vent? It's life saving if you think about it.

Sharon said...
April 6, 2010 at 11:58 AM

I'd like to think your son's stepmom had a good reason for saying what she did. I know my stepson tends to blow every dime in his pocket on crap that no one needs. Maybe she just wants to teach him to be more frugal with his money - not a bad concept in today's economy. Just sayin'

MindyMom said...
April 6, 2010 at 12:10 PM

Oh sweetie, your stepbitch issues PALE in comparisson to what I deal with. You wouldn't believe the shit she pulls.

May they all burn in slut-hell.

Erin said...
April 6, 2010 at 12:28 PM

I stopped posting daily a while back. I can't keep up anymore. Too hard. Too many amazing/funny/awesome blogs to read---like yours! I do what I can, when I can.

Michelle Pixie said...
April 6, 2010 at 12:38 PM

The ex's girlfriend sounds like a real peach!

Send me your address and I will mail ya what I've got. ;-)

carma said...
April 6, 2010 at 12:56 PM

I'm relieved you have made an exception for hookers and drugs ;-)

Anonymous said...
April 6, 2010 at 1:45 PM

i have given up on trying ot keep up with my reader. i just can't get to every post--i mean, i can if i want to be malnourished and in jail for child neglect, but i'd really rather not.

technololgy hates me too. our PS2 that we hardly used to begin with stopped working. it's only been about 3 years. thank God it was a gift.

Linda Medrano said...
April 6, 2010 at 3:08 PM

Hookers and drugs are not always bad. Sometimes they are a good thing. Think about it. You are hysterical!

Viv said...
April 6, 2010 at 3:08 PM

Step slut would need to back the hell off...kinda quick like, if I were you.

Ian said...
April 6, 2010 at 3:22 PM

How dare you not read my blog. Just for that I won't comment.

Whoops. Too late.

Salt said...
April 6, 2010 at 3:25 PM

I don't think that I can speak for everyone, but I definitely don't have a life. I've been photoshopping pictures of my cat wearing a party hat on the toilet. Enough said.

Wow I don't even know SWSNBN, but I want to track her down and kick her in the ass. Fuck off indeed.

That One Mom said...
April 6, 2010 at 3:32 PM

I'm with ya on the iPods and XBox. What the eff? Why can't stuff be made like it used to, you know, when it lasted forever.... Like my original Atari - it still works.

Anonymous said...
April 6, 2010 at 4:07 PM

Before video games, there were chess, other board games and cards, and balls and bicycles.
Look what happened...

Danielle said...
April 6, 2010 at 4:25 PM

This was hilarious. I dare her! You could mess a girlfriend up. BIG TIME!

Juliana said...
April 6, 2010 at 5:04 PM

Thank you for the laugh. My freaking reader is empty but I wish before that I had known about the mark all as read button. I prefer to go comment back to the people who actually comment on my blog and I go to theirs. :) You totally crack me up.

Angelia said...
April 6, 2010 at 5:35 PM

I couldn't get online this weekend....307 unread blogs. WTF.

My youngest dropped her ipod touch in the toilet. Thank god her father bought it for her. $100 to fix it.

Dude...I would kick that girlfriend in the business. Who the eff does she think she is?

Monique-aka-Surferwife23 said...
April 6, 2010 at 5:42 PM

I would flip my everloving lid if my son's father's girlfriend ever tried to reprimand my son for something like that. And at almost 18 years old? Really?

When are you winning that damn lottery?

*LLUVIA* said...
April 6, 2010 at 6:03 PM


hell na!! The girlfriend did NOT try to take away hi bankcard! dumb bitch! (can u videotape it if you do decide to take her down?)

Aunt Juicebox said...
April 6, 2010 at 7:53 PM

Yeah, I would SO buy a ticket to that event! What was she even thinking, that she'd physically be able to take his card, cuz you know he isn't going to just hand it over, it's HIS money. Although he will be 18, and graduating soon, and maybe she's planning to start charging him rent and doesn't want him blowing all his money on other stuff. ROFL

MiMi said...
April 6, 2010 at 8:33 PM

I wanna see you use the red shoes in your profile pic to stomp the girlfriend.

Mass Hole Mommy said...
April 6, 2010 at 8:54 PM

Drugs are on their way.....

middle child said...
April 6, 2010 at 10:40 PM

If one of your "babies" asks to use your laptop, tell them "Sure." Then bend at the knees, sit down and pull them unto your lap for a snuggle. They sound old enough that I don't think they'll ask again. HA!

Mad Woman said...
April 6, 2010 at 11:51 PM

Clearly slutface has NO idea who she's messing with. I'd love to be a fly on the wall when she decides to take that card away.

Laura said...
April 7, 2010 at 12:10 AM

This might be sad, but I often pray that my ex will continue to not get married until all the kids are grown. Selfish I know.

Oh & my reader, ugh I missed 4 days in a row. You can only imagine. I clicked the "marked all as read" too.

June said...
April 7, 2010 at 12:36 AM

I refuse to use "Reader". Scares the hell out of me.

Trying to tell an almost 18 year old that she will take away his bank card... not a real bright crayon, is she?

We found some dude on craigslist to fix our broken xbox and he did all the upgrades so this machine should run for at least another year or two with the newest games. Totally reasonable cost too.

gayle said...
April 7, 2010 at 12:52 AM

I am always behind! What is the difference between the dashboard and the reader? I read from the it easier from the reader?

Lori E said...
April 8, 2010 at 12:35 AM

Seriously? She did? WTF? OMG. Yes I know I am yelling. TTFN

Daffy said...
April 8, 2010 at 10:13 AM

"more than willing to rip your face off and shit down your throat"

will you marry me?

Anonymous said...
April 10, 2010 at 2:47 AM

Dear Dual Mom,

I HATE that my X is SO NOT involved with my Macs, but at least I don't have to put up with his wife (who BTW just had a baby) telling my kids what to do. Don't get me started about them..You have heard of DINKS, right? Double Income NO Kids...these two dipshits MOVED TO Michigan during this recession and now are DUMB--Double Unemployed Morons w/ Baby! I shit you not.

Anonymous said...
April 17, 2010 at 12:49 AM

don't make me come over there and knock that bitch on her ass. I will, I swear it.