Well, I've done it. After 8 years and having to get a prosthetic tongue from biting it so much in my dealings with SWSNBN- I have openly pissed her. I feel as though the apocalypse is about to start. Curiously, another feeling I have, is relief. I feel as though a weight has been lifted. I feel as though I have finally stood up to the classroom bully.
In my Swine post, I outlined the argument over vaccines. It was never really resolved and last week was the first week in over seven years I have not received an email from SWSNBN regaling me with some story of her wonderful mom prowess. I knew she was upset that I was making an executive decision regarding the vaccines. No, not upset - she was pissed. I mean c'mon - how dare I, right? How dare I decide on matters involving my childrens health without deferring to her. Take me now and burn me at the damn stake for my audacity people!!!
I had sent her an email on Thursday asking her to send the boys school newsletters home. Let me explain why I had to do this. The children get off the bus at their father's. She ensures that all school notices are left there for their father to read. This is about control, it has very little to do with keeping their father informed. For some reason, the school newsletters never make it back into the kitbags and into my place. I don't give a shit, it's all online and I make a point of checking it. In her mind, having the news from school and keeping it from me, gives her one up on me. She is then able to email me at 4:00 on the day Nora or one of the boys is supposed to be at an activity and say, "Oh by the way.....they'll be later, or I just got back from such and such or whatever" Anyway, she did not email me back. Not a word, nor have I seen the newsletters (which were not put online this month for some reason, hence my asking for them) The radio silence on her end confirms the fact that she is UPSET with me.
We now interrupt this regularly scheduled program to allow Dual Mom to have a stroke. The emails are coming in from her as I sit writing this post. Wait until I show them to you, I'm so glad I can entertain you folks this fine morning.
So driving the kids to school this morning I'm mumbling to myself about a dentist appointment Nora and Jimmy have tomorrow afternoon. Ex knows the appointment is coming up as I had asked him (two weeks ago) if his mother could take the kids to it (she often has Wednesday off). She couldn't so I told him I would get the time off work. Case closed. Monty pipes up and says, "SWSNBN is getting her mother to take them to the appointment".
I'll give you a moment to allow that to digest. I do not even need to tell you all the things wrong with this.
I arrive at work and send this:
Monty told me this morning you have made plans to have your mother take the kids to their dentist tomorrow. I just wanted to let you know that I have this taken care of and will be picking them up.
Also, Jimmy is home sick today. I'm not sure if he's actually sick or just didn't feel like going to school. If he is actually sick I'll be canceling the appointment anyway.
Just thought I would let you know, would hate to have your mother show up to their schools and them not be there!
I'm seething while writing this but think I managed to be respectful and polite, right?
I get this back not two minutes later:
Mom took them before so I figured it was easier as we all work.
So all the kids are are going to miss school?
There's no opening salutation, there's no closing, she is PISSED at me. This is NOT how she commicates with me. Her emails are generally so long and drawn out that I'm ready to drive a sharp instrument into my jugular by the time I finish reading them just to make the pain stop.
I reply with this:
I kept Jimmy home today. The other two are gone to school. As I said, I'm not 100% sure that he is in fact sick but didn't want to send him to school just in case.
I had no idea you had made plans for your mom to take them so I already cancelled two meetings and made arrangements to be out of the office tomorrow afternoon.
I did not make plans. Ex wanted me to ask her as Nanny (Ex's mother) has to work.
Trying to make easy for everyone.
SWSNBN - I get the distinct impression you're upset with me. My intention here is not to upset anyone. Ex should have communicated this to me. I had no idea he had made these plans, but that's a discussion I'll have with Ex.
I appreciate you trying to make things easy! I really do.
Then I get this:
I am sorry but you made it sound as though I had made these plans all on my own.
I just wanted to clear it up as it was Ex's decision to call Mom.
As long as they get there, I am happy. Nora is probably going to need her tooth out as well. It is growing in crooked.
I think you should call Ex as we all feel that the kids should have the H1N1 vaccination.
All of us in the house are getting it, even Ex. You can discuss that with him.
So obviously we both have our back up and just need to calm down, right? It was Ex that instigated the call to her mother. What I find ironic is that she can inform me my daughter has a crooked tooth (obviously I've lost my eyesight and can not see this for myself) but she can't inform me she has asked her mother to take my kids to the dentist? What's up with that? I'm ready to start biting my prosthetic tongue again and let sleeping dogs lie when I get this:
I phoned the school today to let them know I will pick up Nora after school.
She has homework club today so I will pick her up at 4:00.
Please excuse me while I go bang my fucking head against a wall just to make the insanity stop. DID WE JUST NOT SPEND THE LAST HOUR TALKING ABOUT THIS EXACT THING!?!?!?
Please dear interneters, help me make sense of this. My instinct is to lose my shit and just go ballistic on her ass. To what end though? She obviously doesn't get it...
Teetering on the edge....
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