I KNOW This Flu Intimately

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Received this in my email this morning:

Flu Warning IMPORTANT INFORMATION

I went to a dinner party last night, where I and other guests enjoyed copious amounts of alcohol. I awoke this morning not feeling well, with what could be described as flu-like symptoms; headache, nausea, chills, sore eyes, etc.

From the results of some initial testing, I have unfortunately tested positive for what experts are now calling Wine Flu.

This debilitating condition is very serious - and it appears this is not an isolated case. Reports are flooding in from all around the country of others diagnosed with Wine Flu. To anyone that starts to exhibit the aforementioned tell-tale signs, experts are recommending a cup of tea and a bit of a lie down. However, should your condition worsen, you should immediately rent a DVD and take some Advil . Others are reporting a McDonald's Happy Meal can also help in some cases. If not, then further application of the original liquid, in similar quantities to the original dose, has been shown to do the trick.

Wine Flu does not need to be life threatening and, if treated early, can be eradicated within a 24-48 hour period.

NOTE

If you find you are complaining a lot, it may be that it has mutated into Whine Flu. This is particularly common in men and can quickly spread to their partners where the symptoms are detected as a serious case of eye-rolling.

8 comments:

Martinis or Diaper Genies? said...
November 5, 2009 at 12:28 PM

oh my god. I have this. both wine and whine versions. SHIT.

Lola said...
November 6, 2009 at 4:57 PM

HAAA! My latest bout lasted over 48 hours thanks to June Cleaver drinking sangria like it was water on a 90-degree day. June is a lush!!!

Thanks for stopping by, girl, and calling me a whore. You made my morning!

Loving your blog, so I'm going to put you in my reader right now or else I'll totally forget when I start drinking in a half hour ;)

TONI B. said...
November 12, 2009 at 2:40 PM

Wine and Whine flu...LOVES IT! lol I think I have the Whine flu today...how do you get rid of it?

Dual Mom said...
November 12, 2009 at 10:09 PM

Toni B - more wine sometimes works for me!

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