Letter to the Editor

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Dear Media:

I hate you. It's quite simple. I hate you. I know I should not hate, the emotion makes one weak. I know it is your lot in life to be such an attention whore. Oh but I loathe thee with a passion. You see dear media, you have turned an otherwise rational, level-headed mother into a stark raving lunatic that has lost all commen sense and ability to deal with her child's illness in a calm, rational manner.

My darling Nora complained of a headache this morning. I am a compassionate, loving mother therefore I told her to suck it up and go play. This afternoon she started coughing. In my seventeen years of parenting I have dealt with a plethora of childhood illnesses, ranging from the simple common ear infections to a rather life threatening episode of encephalitis. I laugh in the face of a pesky cough. hahahah Take that damn cough. I will pump my daughter full of ben alyn and ye shall be gone forevermore.

Well dear media, I am not laughing now. You see my lovely daughter fell asleep on the couch this evening. When I woke her to go to bed, I realized she was incredibly warm. Really really warm. It took me 20 minutes to find my thermometer, as it has been well over two years since I have required its use.

Her temperature is 103.3. Headache, cough, high temp - holy flying fuck.

It is your fault dear media that I am now sitting beside my sleeping daughter at midnight. I am wide awake rather than getting some much needed shut eye. You see dear media, you have managed to scare the shit out of every parent in the world, turning each and every one of us into cyberchondriacs. Otherwise rational mommies have now started stockpiling thermometers and children's ad vil. I had to go to three different pharamacies to find liquid ty lenol. The pharmacist at one store visibly stepped back from me when I told her my daughter had a cough and high temp. You have gleefully bombarded us with stories and pictures of grieving parents who have lost their children to the dreaded H1N1 and we in turn have lost all ability to act as an intellectual society. A simple childhood flu is no longer simple. I now sit here listening to my daughter breathe, holding my hand to her wrist to ensure her pulse remains steady and strong. You have turned an otherwise calm, rationale mother into a blithering raging, overreacting, lunatic. For that dear media, I hate you. The depth of my loathing takes my breath away.

I know whatever it is my daughter is suffering from will run its course and she will be fine. However, I wish a raging case of chlamydia on each and every one of you fucking media types.

Cordially yours,
Dual Mom


Martinis or Diaper Genies? said...
November 9, 2009 at 11:52 AM

I agree. They have blown this way out of proportion.

Anonymous said...
November 10, 2009 at 10:48 AM

Oh that is sooo true. The mere common cold has us shaking in our slippers.

I hope she feels better soon.

Daffy said...
November 10, 2009 at 11:08 AM

I couldn't agree more! Very well said... I really think you should print this and mail it to someone!!

Oh, and I would love to reply to your fabulous comments on BCC but I get that noreply-comment thingie and so I can't. Just wanted you to know, incase you didn't :O)


TONI B. said...
November 12, 2009 at 2:34 PM

Awww I hope she feels better...