My Secret Boyfriend

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This weekend has been an Ally McBeal marathon. Do you remember Ally McBeal? Ran for five seasons from 1998 - 2002.

In 2001, in between stints at rehab, my secret boyfriend played a significant role on the show.

Isn't he puuuurty? He loves me, he just doesn't know it yet. Someday, he'll discover me, and the addictions, arrests and all around naughty behavior will end. Hey, with the love of a good woman, especially with the love of a Dual Mom, anything is possible, right?

See how sad he is? That pensive, brooding look? It's because his life is empty without me. Those are probably my initials on his delectable bicep (shutyourpiehole and don't burst my delusion).

Smirk all you want baby, someday you'll realize the error of your ways. All of these woman you've used to try and fill the void will be thrown to the wayside (no offense to the current wife). Sarah, Calista...all of them will be a faint, distant bad memory.
Can  you fucking imagine coming home to this? Let me tell y'all right now, blogging would be at the bottom of my list of things to do.

It's absolutely criminal that there are men like this in the world that we will never know. Ya know, like know know.


GunDiva said...
February 15, 2010 at 1:04 AM

Can't say as your secret boyfriend sets my heart all pitter-pat, but I agree with your last statement. If only those fine men knew what they were missing out on!

Anonymous said...
February 15, 2010 at 2:33 AM

Oh my god, where did you find that last photo? So very very hot! He really looks good now for all that hard living he's done!

Shandal said...
February 15, 2010 at 3:09 AM

I agree, I think he's handsome!

Kellyansapansa said...
February 15, 2010 at 6:04 AM

He is a spunk, to be sure!

I loved Ally McBeal (the first few seasons anyway). I have the box set - I think it might be time for my own marathon!

Quixotic said...
February 15, 2010 at 6:57 AM

Funny, he was never on my radar.. till I went to see Sherlock Holmes... mm, I do love me a bad boy though...

Anonymous said...
February 15, 2010 at 9:20 AM

He looked pretty good in the Sherlock Holmes movie that just came out.
I think it was him, I'm so bad like that.


Hillbilly Duhn said...
February 15, 2010 at 10:11 AM

Gosh, here I was popping over to get your info to make you my follower of the week, and I get to drool over a very sexy man.

I too, find him good looking. I liked him in the movie Fur with what's her nuts, she is not relative to the movie, since you know, we got to see him naked and I forgot everything about the movie, except that I saw him naked. Yeah, it's like that. ;)

June said...
February 15, 2010 at 10:20 AM

I have always had a crush on this bad boy... he is sexy and loved him in Sherlock Holmes. Yummy!

Tracie said...
February 15, 2010 at 10:59 AM

You like the bad boys, don't you? Me too!

MindyMom said...
February 15, 2010 at 11:55 AM

Thanks for the eye-candy!

But no more bad boys for this single mom. The pain is not worth the pleasure. Well, NO it is NOT! Right?


Anonymous said...
February 15, 2010 at 11:59 AM

those are definitely your intitials on his arm...the same way brad pitt thinks of me when he's *busy* with angelina jolie... :)

Corrie Howe said...
February 15, 2010 at 12:12 PM

I hope he finds his one true love sooner rather than later. But then again, that will mean you won't be blogging any more. Hum? I hope he continues to be drunk and drugged and never comes to his senses.

Daffy said...
February 15, 2010 at 1:08 PM

If they aren't your initals I have a feeling you would totally change your name to match them *wink wink*

Anonymous said...
February 15, 2010 at 1:51 PM

I'm SO over him. :-P

P.S. I've got a good party storyyyyyy

Happy Hour...Somewhere said...
February 15, 2010 at 1:57 PM

I hope you know how to share. Can we call him Dual Boyfriend? He looked so fine in Iron Man and Sherlock Holmes...I barely remember Ally McBeal though and I'm sure I never saw it. Damn, that last picture was...was...well, you know.

February 15, 2010 at 4:02 PM

i love RDJ he can wake up in my bed after a meth induced coma anytime.

Kaylen said...
February 15, 2010 at 4:12 PM

Ha, I can't believe you have that last photo...I remember the day I took it like it was yesterday....

Danielle said...
February 15, 2010 at 4:18 PM

Ewww, not my type, but I agree that he is missing out with out you!
I need more beef and tatts!

Blissed-Out Grandma said...
February 15, 2010 at 4:25 PM

I fell in love with him on Ally McBeal, too...or with the character he played, anyway. We have the CD from when he and Sting were on the show.... He sings "Every Breath You Take" and "I Wish I Had a River I Could Skate Away On" and I'm SURE he's singing to me!

Mrsblogalot said...
February 15, 2010 at 8:29 PM

Mother of God.

That last picture!

I have always had such a sick crush on him. Makes my husband wanna puke!

teehee (-:

Anonymous said...
February 15, 2010 at 8:42 PM

My husband thinks I actually like the movie Iron Man... Um no. I just like staring at this hottie!

gayle said...
February 15, 2010 at 9:50 PM

I had to erase my first thought!! All I can say is I agree I agree...

That One Mom said...
February 15, 2010 at 11:58 PM

Ahhh yes... Robert. I heart him. I totally featured him as a Future Ex-Husband a while back. He's so delish!

adrienzgirl said...
February 16, 2010 at 3:48 AM

I just told Cheapskate Mom this week that I have been in LURVE with Robert Downey Jr. since I was a young teen. When all the other girls were posting TeenBeat pictures of Corey Haim (puke), I was ALL ABOUT RDJ.

He's so dreamy. And thank the good Lord hard livin' didn't make him look like Corey. HOLY CA-CA have you seen that boy. He looks like a steamroller mowed him down, then backed up and rerolled his nappy ass.

Dude, someone get that boy RDJ's rehab therapist!

Yankee Girl said...
February 16, 2010 at 11:59 AM

Now I am all turned on and hot and bothered at work. Only 7 hours to go before I get home and can play out the fantasy of RDJ that is now going through my head.

Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...
February 16, 2010 at 4:15 PM

He is fabulous....sighhhhhhh....

Erin said...
February 16, 2010 at 7:09 PM

I should totally add Ally McBeal to my Netflix queue. Loved that show and would be so fun to revisit!

Mrsblogalot said...
February 16, 2010 at 8:24 PM

I came back to look at the pictures.

Canadian Blend said...
February 16, 2010 at 9:47 PM

I'm not qualified to comment on his hotness, but, he was on Graham Norton not long ago and gave a pretty good interview. He was funny and seemed like a nice enough guy.

Aunt Juicebox said...
February 16, 2010 at 10:18 PM

I see it right there, it says D-U-A-L and then the rest is hidden.

Anonymous said...
February 17, 2010 at 12:30 AM

I've always found him to be a bit of a hotty! And yes I totally remember Ally McBeal! I still have the soundtrack on my ipod! What?

blueviolet said...
February 18, 2010 at 12:35 PM

He's totally one to do! I get it!

Loni's World said...
February 18, 2010 at 1:50 PM

:) I feel the same for Anotonio Sabato jr. lol

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Kim said...
February 19, 2010 at 11:11 AM

I dunno, I keep wondering how many years he has to be sober before he stops looking so hungover all the time.

Traci said...
March 1, 2010 at 1:10 PM

Too too sexy! I have been in love with him since "Weird Science" and he was my favorite boyfriend on Ally McBeal. Thanks for the little extra inspiration for the day!