Anyfuk - give me an opportunity to be sarcastic AND use the "f" word and I'm all over it. If you too would like to join in the fun of Gratitude with Attitude stop over at the Think Tank, grab the button and go to town. Thank's Zgirl for giving me this wonderful opportunity. I heart you almost as much as the "f" word.
Dear bestest friend since high school,
I love with you with every fibre of my black little heart. I'm so glad you're staying with me for a few days, even though it's a funeral that brought you home. And you brought your cute little french man with you...you know his accent makes my nether region quiver - ok not really but he is super cute. I miss not having you in my life on a daily basis. So much. My kids miss you.
What I don't miss...is the fact that no matter how fucking warm it is, you're always cold. ALWAYS. Get some blood already would you please? It was ok that the thermostat was set at 25 when I arrived home last night. It's only oil at a bazzilion dollars a tank, right? It was probably damn cold when you arrived at the house. But getting up at midnight and turning it up again? Dear jesus just kill me now. So I really do have to thank you my dear friend, for turning up the heat in the middle of the night causing me to awake at two in the morning where I then had to get out of bed and change my clothes because I was sweating so badly. I should also thank you for telling me this morning how cold you were last night. What the fuck? It's not humanly possible for someone to be cold with THREE comforters on top of them and the heat set on volcanic meltdown!!!
Love you foreva' and always
Dear Patio Steps,
Thank you so very much for causing me to fall. Having my spine feel as though someone's driving a shiv into it everyfukintime I move....it's awesome. You lear at me each time I step on the deck...but I've got your number buddy; there will be no more America's funniest home video moments for you. No more will I entertain your dull day by flying off the top step to land in the snow bank.
I bought salt fucker.
Dear School Board,
I realize you had no control over the storm on Friday. I know this messed with the exam schedule for that day. Rather than pushing the PD day you had scheduled for yesterday forward, how 'bout just canceling it? You know my boys have been off school now for SEVEN fucking days? Seriously? How can you possibly justify such a bullshit decision? Thank you very much for once again proving you're all a bunch of fucktards.
Dear Scale -
So we meet again.
It's been one week since you looked at me, or since I looked at you. Oh how you broke my poor heart. Though the blogger world tried to assure me it was not your fault. They offered comfort in their many comments and assured me this week would be better. I wanted to believe them, I mean my blogger buds wouldn't lie to me, right?
Of course they wouldn't.
Down 3 pounds this week. Hallefuckinlelluah
Thank you, thank you thank you, to dear scales and all of you who assured me this week would be better. You guys rock!