Gratitude With Attitude - Come Join the Fun

Brought to you exclusively by Dual Mom on
I heart sarcasm almost as much as I love the "f" word. What does this say about me? Anyone care to weigh in?

Anyfuk - give me an opportunity to be sarcastic AND use the "f" word and I'm all over it. If you too would like to join in the fun of Gratitude with Attitude stop over at the Think Tank, grab the button and go to town. Thank's Zgirl for giving me this wonderful opportunity. I heart you almost as much as the "f" word.



Think Tank Momma

Dear bestest friend since high school,
I love with you with every fibre of my black little heart. I'm so glad you're staying with me for a few days, even though it's a funeral that brought you home. And you brought your cute little french man with you...you know his accent makes my nether region quiver - ok not really but he is super cute. I miss not having you in my life on a daily basis. So much. My kids miss you.

What I don't miss...is the fact that no matter how fucking warm it is, you're always cold. ALWAYS. Get some blood already would you please? It was ok that the thermostat was set at 25 when I arrived home last night. It's only oil at a bazzilion dollars a tank, right? It was probably damn cold when you arrived at the house. But getting up at midnight and turning it up again? Dear jesus just kill me now. So I really do have to thank you my dear friend, for turning up the heat in the middle of the night causing me to awake at two in the morning where I then had to get out of bed and change my clothes because I was sweating so badly. I should also thank you for telling me this morning how cold you were last night. What the fuck? It's not humanly possible for someone to be cold with THREE comforters on top of them and the heat set on volcanic meltdown!!!

Love you foreva' and always
Your bestie
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Patio Steps,
Thank you so very much for causing me to fall. Having my spine feel as though someone's driving a shiv into it everyfukintime I move....it's awesome. You lear at me each time I step on the deck...but I've got your number buddy; there will be no more America's funniest home video moments for you. No more will I entertain your dull day by flying off the top step to land in the snow bank.

I bought salt fucker.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear School Board,
I realize you had no control over the storm on Friday. I know this messed with the exam schedule for that day. Rather than pushing the PD day you had scheduled for yesterday forward, how 'bout just canceling it? You know my boys have been off school now for SEVEN fucking days? Seriously? How can you possibly justify such a bullshit decision? Thank you very much for once again proving you're all a bunch of fucktards.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Scale -

So we meet again.

It's been one week since you looked at me, or since I looked at you. Oh how you broke my poor heart. Though the blogger world tried to assure me it was not your fault. They offered comfort in their many comments and assured me this week would be better. I wanted to believe them, I mean my blogger buds wouldn't lie to me, right?

Of course they wouldn't.

Down 3 pounds this week. Hallefuckinlelluah

Thank you, thank you thank you, to dear scales and all of you who assured me this week would be better. You guys rock!

31 comments:

Sharon said...
February 2, 2010 at 11:27 AM

Your scale is so kind. Do you think it could come and have a talk with mine? Because she's a bitch.

F. McButter Pants said...
February 2, 2010 at 11:27 AM

Congrats on loss! Thanks for the morning laugh.

fucktard....too funny

Yankee Girl said...
February 2, 2010 at 11:38 AM

Yay for the loss!

I love my best friend too, but when she comes to visit I always get mad at how much toilet paper she uses. All by herself she uses a roll a day. HOW CAN SOMEONE USE THAT MUCH TP IN ONE DAY?

I don't understand.

Secretia said...
February 2, 2010 at 11:51 AM

This is a message from your scale:

"Thanks for taking it easy on me this week Babe! You feel much better this way, I'll let you walk on me as much as you want a few pounds from now. Come back next week and visit, OK?"

Nice going, Skinny!

Secretia

Erin said...
February 2, 2010 at 11:59 AM

Hi there,

I'm your newest follower, found you over at Think Tank Momma's place!!

Congrats on the weight loss! Woohoo! That is always such a great feeling.

p.s. could your bestie have a thyroid condition? I do, and for me it's all about my body temperature. I never blame other people or thermostats because I know it's my hormones...it sucks! Sorry you were sweating!

adrienzgirl said...
February 2, 2010 at 12:19 PM

I love your little black heart!

3 pounds! Woot! Woot!

I loved your letters. You bought salt! Hahahahaha!

BigSis said...
February 2, 2010 at 12:26 PM

So jealous of the weight loss.

And, Hallefuckinlelluah is my new favorite word.

Vinomom said...
February 2, 2010 at 12:40 PM

3 lbs way to go! That rocks. I have not even weighed in. Well I have - but theres been no change so I just haven't posted about it.

I've gotta grab this button and do it this week! I love it!

Loni's World said...
February 2, 2010 at 1:20 PM

good job on the lbs!

I loved the letters :)

The Blue Zoo said...
February 2, 2010 at 1:33 PM

OMG - -My sister is ALWAYS cold. Drives me insane. She wont even stay here anymore when she comes to visit cause my house is to cold for her!

Congrats on your weight loss!! You're doing awesome!!!

Monique-aka-Surferwife23 said...
February 2, 2010 at 1:59 PM

woohoo! Good bye 3 pounds. I guess you gotta take some good with the bad, right?

Homesick Cajun said...
February 2, 2010 at 2:04 PM

Uugh...my FIL and I are in a battle over the thermostat! I've tried explaining that I have my own personal summers (hot falshes) very often at night and the heat is KILLING me! Someone is gonna get hurt...I just see it coming lol!

gaylin said...
February 2, 2010 at 2:56 PM

Yes, I have a thyroid disease and chronic anemia, Yes I am always fucking cold. Yes, I bring my own polar fleece hoodie when I visit people! I have even been known to bring a polar fleece blanket.

It is NOT okay for me to change other people's thermostat!!! Not 'cool' at all.

For me hot flashes are just me feeling warm for the first time in 20 years, bring them on.

Congrats on the 3 pounds, I don't own a scale but my jeans fit. good enough.

gaylin said...
February 2, 2010 at 3:01 PM

Oh yeah, tell your friend to invest in a hot water bottle. Fill it and take it to bed, it stays hot to warm all night long if it is under the covers.

makes a huge difference.

Kellyansapansa said...
February 2, 2010 at 3:25 PM

Nice post! Big congratulations on the weight loss too :o)

Daffy said...
February 2, 2010 at 4:25 PM

Ooooh! Don't even get me started on fucktards in school districts! Grrrrrr


I laughed out loud when I read I BOUGHT SALT! haaaaaaaaa!

I love it (not really) when hubs complains about how cold the house is in the winter but he's wearing shorts and a tshirt and no socks at the time. Ummmm....hello! It's artic outside - dress like it

Aunt Juicebox said...
February 2, 2010 at 4:27 PM

lol Well at least one good thing right? 3 pounds down! Hope the back gets better.

I can't stand to be hot at night. I always turn the thermo down, and my daughter complains that she's freezing when she gets out of bed in the morning. Oh well, I'm the mom so my comfort is what matters most. ;)

Tracie said...
February 2, 2010 at 5:18 PM

Congrats on your weight loss. At this point I consider myself out of the challenge situation. It is only making me eat.

June said...
February 2, 2010 at 5:20 PM

Keep up the good work and don't forget to salt the patio steps real damn good.

We drop the temp in the house too and I sleep much better but DAMN ceramic tiles are f*cking cold when you have to pee in the middle of the night!!

Kat said...
February 2, 2010 at 5:57 PM

Congrats on the three pounds! And WTF? 7 days? Really? That is a SIN!

Mad Woman said...
February 2, 2010 at 6:04 PM

YAY for 3 pounds! That's awesome.

Now. I think you need to invest in some door locks. For the kids' rooms. Holy shit on a stick man! 7 fucking days??? I'd have gone crazy. Snow AND kids home? No thank you.

T!nK said...
February 2, 2010 at 6:48 PM

seee i told you!!!

Mrsblogalot said...
February 2, 2010 at 8:19 PM

Haaaaa!! You are awesome!

You and your black heart who still didn't kill the friend who tried to boil you and use all of your precious oil!

Try setting her on fire next time. That oughtta do it (-:

advocatemom said...
February 2, 2010 at 8:27 PM

Awesome! I am definately writing some of these!

gayle said...
February 2, 2010 at 11:46 PM

3 pounds Yea!!!! That is my goal this week!!

Laura said...
February 3, 2010 at 11:10 AM

You Rock! you're over the plateau on the weight loss!

JennyMac said...
February 3, 2010 at 11:11 AM

Congrats on the loss! ANd for making me crack up with this:

I bought salt f*cker.

Tiffany said...
February 3, 2010 at 2:09 PM

woo hooo for scales that don't suck this week!

though i'm pretty sure your scale gave the three pounds to my scale. whatever.

blueviolet said...
February 3, 2010 at 9:46 PM

Your sign off to the patio steps about killed me!!!!!

theothermommy said...
February 4, 2010 at 11:00 PM

I love the letter to the patio steps! Also, I hate hate hate being hot when I sleep, I'm always warm anyway, so my guests always get handed a buttload of blankets when they visit. Because I'd cut a bitch if she messed with my thermostat.

Also, way to fucking go on the weight this week!!!! You are kickin the butter right out of your ass.