Friday Fragments - The One Where I Become Famous

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It would appear that having house guests all week cramps my blogging style. I'm still alive, just haven't sat in front of my laptop all week. I'm sure the shakes, cramps and spontaneous twitching of withdrawal will subside any time now. I'm also a total lame ass when it comes to staying up past 10:00pm on a "school" night.

The LIB has been blown to smithereens this week. Complete shite I tell you. McDonalds, thai, little exercise. Oh it gets better, we're having a pj party on Saturday, the menu includes chocoloate silk pie, 4 cheese lasagna, wine, eggs benedict (breakfast of course), wine, scallops, did I mention wine?

It is so incredibly cold here I'm tempted to go piss in a snowbank just for shits and giggles to see if it freezes before actually hitting the snowbank.

LOST. Oh dear what do I say about Lost? Now we're doing flash sideways. That's excellent. Lost makes me feel as though I should be riding the short bus, and yet I continue to watch it. What is that? Sadomasochist right?

I sit on the board of a non-profit group. The executive director is a great guy and we have worked together on a couple of projects in the past. He makes me piss my pants with laughter. He was in Ottawa at a meeting, left Wednesday afternoon to return at midnight last night. His wife was scheduled for a c-section this morning at 6am. I sent him an email yesterday afternoon and told him we were expecting huge blizzard on the east coast (we're not). What? It was funny. Ok I know, I will burn in hell for my sick, twisted sense of humour. This was the reply I got back from him:

T, thanks for the email. It caused me to rush from my meeting in the middle of the President's presentation to throw up. When I finished wiping the barf from my chin, I checked the weather forecast to discover that you're a lying bitch and with my dying breath I will get you back for this.

PS. I'm kind of chuckling now. You are evil.

Should make the next board meeting interesting, non?

I've been asked to be the College "spokesperson" for a series of news stories that will be running over the next couple of months. My involvement with the organization I referred to above has gotten me into this. Does anyone have any idea how I can "appear" ten pounds lighter on camera? I'll also have to remember not to say fuck. I told the VP who asked me to do this that I would need hair, makeup and wardrobe people along with a small dog with a diamond studded collar that I can carry in my purse. You know, like all the famous girls. He just shook his head at me....

Happy Friday everyone! I hope you all have a wonderfab weekend. Anyone doing anything fun or exciting?


PS. Just got an email from the new dad, "it's a boy... 7lb 7 ounces."  I guess the fates were smiling on him and he actually made it to the delivery.


June said...
February 5, 2010 at 10:12 AM

Can I come to that pj party? The food sounds absolute yummy and I have no plans for the weekend... Blah.

I have heard of blog withdrawl, it's a real bitch.

Good luck with the "no swearing" part - seriously, I mean it!! It's tough trying not to swear.

Anonymous said...
February 5, 2010 at 10:14 AM

I read the entire post. Really, I did. But my brain never got past "4 cheese lasagna". I might have to make some of that this weekend. Yum.

Homesick Cajun said...
February 5, 2010 at 10:39 AM

I want in on that pj party! would have me laughing my ass off the whole night! I love the joke you played on him!

We're having a small super bowl party on Sunday! GO SAINTS!! Have a great weekend!

Erin said...
February 5, 2010 at 11:40 AM

I wanna come to the PJ party, too--LIB be damned!! All that food sounds super delish.

I'm lame, too---I am usually in bed by 10 (and sometimes before) on weeknights...

Yankee Girl said...
February 5, 2010 at 11:58 AM

I am totally confused by LOST as well. Is Sayid the new Jacob? Are they existing in two realities? I am right there with you on the short bus.

Loni's World said...
February 5, 2010 at 12:16 PM

PJ party sounds fun!!!

Love #5 :P lol Love it!

Congrats to new daddy!!!

Tracie said...
February 5, 2010 at 2:51 PM

Uh, you know where I stand on the LIB thing. And I completely agree with you about Lost. WTF?

Have a great weekend!

Scribe said...
February 5, 2010 at 6:52 PM

Loved, loved, loved #5. That's something I would totally do. My co-workers are now wondering why I'm snorting into my hand. Thanks.

Vinomom said...
February 5, 2010 at 9:19 PM

That email prank to your coworker made me LOL for sure.

I had 10 chicken nuggets for lunch today w/ fries. And I'm about to go make a whole friggin pizza. LIB is not working too well for me...

Monique-aka-Surferwife23 said...
February 5, 2010 at 9:46 PM

Fun pj party!! And yeah, Lost. Which is what I am every damn week. I think you need an IQ of above 160 to watch.

Noelle said...
February 5, 2010 at 9:50 PM

i had a little slip yesterday, too. in the form of two pancakes with butter, powdered sugar, AND maple syrup...just because if you're gonna be bad, you might as well be really bad. oh yeah, and two fried eggs. i won't even tell you what i had for'll make you want to slap me. back on the wagon today, tho.

have a good weekend! hope you have some great tequila stories to tell on monday!

Anonymous said...
February 5, 2010 at 9:58 PM

I think you are busy like a mom has to be, but you want to have more fun. Now have more fun!


Quixotic said...
February 5, 2010 at 10:58 PM

lol @ not swearing. I once had to give a talk to a bunch of graduating high schoolers. I said "smart-ass" and "shit" and after the talk, while chatting with kids and the teacher, I said "fuck". Oh dear, I wonder why I was never invited back??? Meh, I was 23 at the time, and hung over as hell....

gayle said...
February 5, 2010 at 11:39 PM

You can get back on track with LIB next week!!

Lost ...I still don't understand!! They better clear things up!!

Anonymous said...
February 6, 2010 at 12:06 AM

its all about proportion and silhouette!!

Anonymous said...
February 6, 2010 at 12:06 AM

its all about proportion and silhouette!!

Mad Woman said...
February 6, 2010 at 3:31 AM

Perfect your chin tilt, it really works.

You are evil. I love it!

MODG said...
February 7, 2010 at 1:40 PM

few things. You're famous? take me with you.

also LOST was balls. As in not good. It's going to be a long last season.

Happy Hour...Somewhere said...
February 7, 2010 at 3:16 PM

I cannot watch Lost until it comes to DVD because there is no way on green's earth I can keep track of everything that goes on otherwise. My daughter and I have Lost marathon weekends. I got way behind and will have to start all over again to catch up. Tell me, do you ever find out what happened to Jack's dad and the empty coffin? Do they explain the polar bear? Damn, I really have to catch up.

Jen said...
February 7, 2010 at 8:04 PM

I wanna have a pj party with chocolate silk pie, 4 cheese lasagna, wine,


Happy FF :)

rxBambi said...
February 7, 2010 at 10:27 PM

I want to come to one of your slumber parties!
I volunteer with a couple non-profits and they are usually the best people ever. The chair sounds like a hoot!

Mrs4444 said...
February 12, 2010 at 12:33 AM

This reminds me of that poor guy on Idol whose wife had a baby while he was in Hollywood; that would be tough.

So you've been chosen to be a spokesperson, huh? That's really awesome (and kind of funny, considering your snarky attitude here. I'm impressed at your obvious split-personality, haha.)

Thanks for joining in this week!