I Would If I Could But I Can't, So I Won't

Brought to you exclusively by Dual Mom on
Do you ever wish you could see into the future? Would you like to know what tomorrow, next month, next year even, holds for you? Well than pop on over to the Daffy's place and make your own fortune!

This special edition of Fortune Cookie Friday is brought you by a few of the stupid, idiotic, mind bending  retarded, ohmygodpleasefucking kill me now, endearing traits of Boyfriend.





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This last one goes out to the fabulous Duckalicious herself. Please be better soon.






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25 comments:

vinomom said...
February 12, 2010 at 12:33 AM

Those are cute. I didn't know you had a Boyfriend?

vinomom said...
February 12, 2010 at 12:34 AM

Also not to be a bitch - but did I fall off your blogroll ?

The Only Girl said...
February 12, 2010 at 12:43 AM

Is my husband your boyfriend by any chance?

T!nK said...
February 12, 2010 at 1:06 AM

HAHAHAHAHA!


I love how you eneded with with a Fucktard. as if it is a new punctuation mark lol.

Tiffany said...
February 12, 2010 at 1:38 AM

women with penises--you just might be onto something!

and if the husband pees on the toilet seat one more time i might have to clean it with his toothbrush...

Juliana said...
February 12, 2010 at 1:44 AM

hahhahaahhahahahah I loved the last one esp. I just won a GIANT and I mean GIANT fortune cookie...my husband thinks that is crazy. I will have to make up a funny message for it!

New follower. Come by and follow back if you would like. Happy Valentines Day! oxoxox Juliana from A Blonde Walks Into A Blog

Secretia said...
February 12, 2010 at 6:24 AM

I always save my fortune cookies in the glove compartment for emergency snacks, then I get the fortune when I'mm saved from starvation.

Secretia

Homesick Cajun said...
February 12, 2010 at 7:52 AM

Lol...I loved these! You're hilarious!

Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...
February 12, 2010 at 10:26 AM

Did you read my mind?? I swear to got ALL OF THOSE THINGS CAME OUT OF MY MOUTH THIS MORNING!!

June said...
February 12, 2010 at 10:31 AM

I believe I will share the first 4 cookies with Pinkus. These threats might just work!

SupahMommy said...
February 12, 2010 at 10:35 AM

Those are INSANELY FUNNY!!

Fucktard.

A fav of mine.

xoxo
supah

Jen said...
February 12, 2010 at 10:50 AM

hahah, fucktard!

Danielle said...
February 12, 2010 at 11:09 AM

Oh, so true about going gay if women had penis's.

Yankee Girl said...
February 12, 2010 at 11:15 AM

Those were AWESOME. The toothpaste one kills me. Really people, just wipe out the damn sink!

Laura said...
February 12, 2010 at 11:36 AM

The pee on the toilet seat chaps my ass. I mean it's bad here. Bad. You know it sometimes was bad when the boys were really little, but now that Skippy is 12 the toilet is freakin disgusting!

Tracie said...
February 12, 2010 at 2:38 PM

Yes!!! I know someone who needs to see this.

Noelle said...
February 12, 2010 at 5:05 PM

yes.
yes.
yes.
yes.
yes.
that's it. i guess i need to become a lesbian. and quite frankly, a penis isn't necessarily necessary. there are other methods, if ya get my meaning. *wink, wink*

Mrsblogalot said...
February 12, 2010 at 5:34 PM

HAAAAAAAA!!! You are killing me with ALL of these!!!!!!!

That One Mom said...
February 12, 2010 at 5:50 PM

Bwaaahahahaha! It's been so long since I've had a man living in my house, I forgot how difficult they are.
*Note to self, save Dual Mom's notes to her bf and refer back if and when you consider "moving in together"

Corrie Howe said...
February 12, 2010 at 10:56 PM

Whoa!!! I'm sensing a little bit of tension here.

Hillbilly Duhn said...
February 13, 2010 at 4:52 PM

I love the word fucktard. LOL I use it all the time. Pretty soon, the dog is going to think that's his name...

Toothpaste in the sink isn't as bad as toothpaste spit on the faucet. UGH! My eldest does that and it drives me mad.

I finally made it here!! And became a follower! :) Sorry I hadn't made it sooner!

Aunt Juicebox said...
February 16, 2010 at 10:17 PM

LOL These are vicious!

adrienzgirl said...
February 17, 2010 at 12:53 AM

Why does everyone think that you and I are like forces to be reckoned with? I just call 'em like I see 'em. I am not a big bad meany, REALLY.

But, I must say...FUCKTARD is my favorite!

The Blue Zoo said...
February 19, 2010 at 3:10 AM

Seriously. Did you write these about my husband? Im sure you did. Especially the last one.