I Would If I Could But I Can't, So I Won't

Brought to you exclusively by Dual Mom on
Do you ever wish you could see into the future? Would you like to know what tomorrow, next month, next year even, holds for you? Well than pop on over to the Daffy's place and make your own fortune!

This special edition of Fortune Cookie Friday is brought you by a few of the stupid, idiotic, mind bending  retarded, ohmygodpleasefucking kill me now, endearing traits of Boyfriend.





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This last one goes out to the fabulous Duckalicious herself. Please be better soon.






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17 comments:

Anonymous said...
February 12, 2010 at 12:33 AM

Those are cute. I didn't know you had a Boyfriend?

The Only Girl said...
February 12, 2010 at 12:43 AM

Is my husband your boyfriend by any chance?

Anonymous said...
February 12, 2010 at 1:06 AM

HAHAHAHAHA!


I love how you eneded with with a Fucktard. as if it is a new punctuation mark lol.

Anonymous said...
February 12, 2010 at 1:38 AM

women with penises--you just might be onto something!

and if the husband pees on the toilet seat one more time i might have to clean it with his toothbrush...

Juliana said...
February 12, 2010 at 1:44 AM

hahhahaahhahahahah I loved the last one esp. I just won a GIANT and I mean GIANT fortune cookie...my husband thinks that is crazy. I will have to make up a funny message for it!

New follower. Come by and follow back if you would like. Happy Valentines Day! oxoxox Juliana from A Blonde Walks Into A Blog

Anonymous said...
February 12, 2010 at 6:24 AM

I always save my fortune cookies in the glove compartment for emergency snacks, then I get the fortune when I'mm saved from starvation.

Secretia

Dee said...
February 12, 2010 at 7:52 AM

Lol...I loved these! You're hilarious!

Lee said...
February 12, 2010 at 10:26 AM

Did you read my mind?? I swear to got ALL OF THOSE THINGS CAME OUT OF MY MOUTH THIS MORNING!!

June said...
February 12, 2010 at 10:31 AM

I believe I will share the first 4 cookies with Pinkus. These threats might just work!

Yankee Girl said...
February 12, 2010 at 11:15 AM

Those were AWESOME. The toothpaste one kills me. Really people, just wipe out the damn sink!

Tracie said...
February 12, 2010 at 2:38 PM

Yes!!! I know someone who needs to see this.

Unknown said...
February 12, 2010 at 5:05 PM

yes.
yes.
yes.
yes.
yes.
that's it. i guess i need to become a lesbian. and quite frankly, a penis isn't necessarily necessary. there are other methods, if ya get my meaning. *wink, wink*

KristinFilut said...
February 12, 2010 at 5:50 PM

Bwaaahahahaha! It's been so long since I've had a man living in my house, I forgot how difficult they are.
*Note to self, save Dual Mom's notes to her bf and refer back if and when you consider "moving in together"

Corrie Howe said...
February 12, 2010 at 10:56 PM

Whoa!!! I'm sensing a little bit of tension here.

Kimberly said...
February 13, 2010 at 4:52 PM

I love the word fucktard. LOL I use it all the time. Pretty soon, the dog is going to think that's his name...

Toothpaste in the sink isn't as bad as toothpaste spit on the faucet. UGH! My eldest does that and it drives me mad.

I finally made it here!! And became a follower! :) Sorry I hadn't made it sooner!

Anonymous said...
February 19, 2010 at 3:10 AM

Seriously. Did you write these about my husband? Im sure you did. Especially the last one.