Speed Bumps on The Road of Life

So let’s see.


Where have I been, what has been going on? Not that anyone really gives a shit, but let me break it down for you.

I got that job. The one that Bully the St. Bernard unintentionally tried to sabotage. I worked 68 hours last week. Tired would be a gross understatement. You know you’re tired when you pour milk into the coffee filter rather than coffee grinds. Putting dirty clothes in the dryer rather than the washer? Yeah -totally brilliant move.

I kicked my 18 year old out of my house yesterday. Happy Mother’s Day, right? He pushed me after I wacked him with the remote control (I had it in my hand while breaking up a fight between him and his brother). It was either call his father to come and get him or break the wooden cutting board over his head, which was the next thing I was going to reach for. I went with the former though the latter was incredibly tempting.

My baby pushed me. The red hot, seething anger has subsided and now my heart is broken…in a million tiny little pieces. My heart is broken.

People keep asking, "Ohh did you have a great Mother's Day?" Oh yeah...fanfuckingtabulous. Sit down, let me tell you about the knock down, drag out fight my 18 year old and I had. It's really excellent entertainment. I am tempted to stab myself in the eye so that people will have something else to ask me about besides Mother's Day. "Oh, why is that sharp implement protruding from your eyeball?"

My relationship with the boyfriend is in the toilet. I think I need to admit to myself that no amount of CPR is going to revive it. Someone said to me last week, “DM (though they used my real name because people in real life use my real name, weird I know). Anyway, they said, “DM, you’re not bad at relationships, you’re bad at ending bad relationships.” Yeah, I really suck at it. So much so that I’ve let this one go for approximately 3 years past its “best before” date. No, no issues there at all.

Dual Mom’s pity party anyone? Suck it up right? I will, soon….I will. The last time I felt like this I ended up leaving my marriage and totally uprooting my life. I keep telling myself there are starving children, people with REAL problems in the world and that this too shall pass.

The thing is – to me - this is all drama. I fucking hate drama. I avoid it at all costs. My instinct is to shove my head up my arse until it all goes away. Yeah, that instinct serves no purpose so I battle it with everything that I have. The battle makes me weary sometimes. I need a nap.

On a positive note I got a really great hairdo Saturday. I am now a red head. It’s what I do – when my life is out of control I change my hair colour. Nora and I also went to see Iron Man 2 yesterday. My secret boyfriend is aging well let me tell you. The movie itself sucked but the eye candy more than made up for it. RDJ in beautiful suits and fast cars - really, does it get any better? Only if he were naked in my bed. Oops did I say that out loud?

So yeah, about those people with real problems.......








I’m just being a sook arse. Go visit Michelle. She needs some words of encouragement.