Just shoot me now. I was obviously drunk when I agreed to help. Who in their right mind leaves me in charge?
Ensuring the kids have a positive educational experience? Hell I'll consider the trip a success if I'm not required to bail anyone out of jail and no one comes home pregnant. It will be nothing short of a miracle if we all make it back alive.
Seriously, I'm concerned. How the fuck do you keep 45 teenagers in line? I have enough trouble keeping two in line. Apparently I've been dubbed the "muscle" by the other chaperones. My reputation as a total hard ass bitch has obviously gotten around. Who told?
The kids comprise a team representing our province in a national competition. There are three days of competition which leaves us 2 days to entertain the little buggers and keep them out of trouble. After researching local attractions these are the things I've suggested to the other chaperones as items to entertain the
- There's a Mennonite community about 15 minutes from where we're staying. A riveting day of soap making and buggy rides would be sure to please the teens, don't you think? Seriously, picture Dual Mom in a Mennonite community with 45 rowdy teenagers. The fucks would be flying everywhere. Who wants to put bets on ME being the first one that's asked to leave?
- A butterfly museum. I know, exciting right? Complete with tropical gardens where the teens can frolick in the splendor of nature. They'd be sure to love that.
- A glass and clay museum (apparently this part of the country is big on obscure museums). C'mon...who doesn't love the awesomeness of glass and clay?
I'm fucking doomed, aren't I?
In all seriousness, beside the idea of chasing drunk teenagers around a strange city and breaking up orgies, I'm really looking forward to the trip.
The silver lining - - I can be assured of some good stories to blog. You can bet your sweet ass the laptop will be travelling with me. Tales from the road. I know, you're excited.
Post script: If the parent of one of the aforementioned teens happens to stumble upon this blog - please be rest assured I am a completely responsible adult and I will ensure your child has protection for above mentioned orgie. No really, there will be no orgies. I don't believe in sex. Trust me. Completely trustrworthy, I am, seriously. I also promise not to drug your child - pinkie swear. Unless they deserve to be drugged. Then all bets are off. Also, your child is not the "little fucker" I refer to, it's someone elses kid. I would never call your child a little fucker, your child is an angel.