Speed Bumps on The Road of Life

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So let’s see.

Where have I been, what has been going on? Not that anyone really gives a shit, but let me break it down for you.

I got that job. The one that Bully the St. Bernard unintentionally tried to sabotage. I worked 68 hours last week. Tired would be a gross understatement. You know you’re tired when you pour milk into the coffee filter rather than coffee grinds. Putting dirty clothes in the dryer rather than the washer? Yeah -totally brilliant move.

I kicked my 18 year old out of my house yesterday. Happy Mother’s Day, right? He pushed me after I wacked him with the remote control (I had it in my hand while breaking up a fight between him and his brother). It was either call his father to come and get him or break the wooden cutting board over his head, which was the next thing I was going to reach for. I went with the former though the latter was incredibly tempting.

My baby pushed me. The red hot, seething anger has subsided and now my heart is broken…in a million tiny little pieces. My heart is broken.

People keep asking, "Ohh did you have a great Mother's Day?" Oh yeah...fanfuckingtabulous. Sit down, let me tell you about the knock down, drag out fight my 18 year old and I had. It's really excellent entertainment. I am tempted to stab myself in the eye so that people will have something else to ask me about besides Mother's Day. "Oh, why is that sharp implement protruding from your eyeball?"

My relationship with the boyfriend is in the toilet. I think I need to admit to myself that no amount of CPR is going to revive it. Someone said to me last week, “DM (though they used my real name because people in real life use my real name, weird I know). Anyway, they said, “DM, you’re not bad at relationships, you’re bad at ending bad relationships.” Yeah, I really suck at it. So much so that I’ve let this one go for approximately 3 years past its “best before” date. No, no issues there at all.

Dual Mom’s pity party anyone? Suck it up right? I will, soon….I will. The last time I felt like this I ended up leaving my marriage and totally uprooting my life. I keep telling myself there are starving children, people with REAL problems in the world and that this too shall pass.

The thing is – to me - this is all drama. I fucking hate drama. I avoid it at all costs. My instinct is to shove my head up my arse until it all goes away. Yeah, that instinct serves no purpose so I battle it with everything that I have. The battle makes me weary sometimes. I need a nap.

On a positive note I got a really great hairdo Saturday. I am now a red head. It’s what I do – when my life is out of control I change my hair colour. Nora and I also went to see Iron Man 2 yesterday. My secret boyfriend is aging well let me tell you. The movie itself sucked but the eye candy more than made up for it. RDJ in beautiful suits and fast cars - really, does it get any better? Only if he were naked in my bed. Oops did I say that out loud?

So yeah, about those people with real problems.......


I’m just being a sook arse. Go visit Michelle. She needs some words of encouragement.


singedwingangel said...
May 10, 2010 at 1:47 PM

Oh sweetie I m so sorry your momma day sucked so bad.. as a mom to a son with bipolar I can tell you Ihave had more then one fight withmine. Only my son has issues that cause him to rage like that. Makes it so hard to stay angry when I know he doesn't even know why he was angry to begin with.. Praying for you to get some peace

SurferWife said...
May 10, 2010 at 1:48 PM

I'm exhausted just reading this. Here's hoping things start looking up soon for you.

I'm sure being a red head will help that along. :)

AnotherDayofCrazy said...
May 10, 2010 at 1:51 PM

Drama *is* exhausting. And the fact that everyone expects all cheeriness and crap just because it's mother's day makes it just so much better, right? So sorry it was horrid. Hopefully your son comes round and apologizes.

Linda Medrano said...
May 10, 2010 at 1:59 PM

Oh Sweetheart, I am so sorry! I just ache for you right now. I do understand that 18 year old boys are volatile creatures and without a strong hand to keep them in line, it's very difficult. That said, he is 18 and it's not like you kicked your 10 year old out to fend for himself. Baby, maybe he needs to spend a little time with Dad for right now. I'm just saying...

My son John lived with my ex and his wife from the time he was 16. (His choice.) He got kicked out of the house when he was 18, came to stay with me and ended up in the Navy. Good choice for him. (He's now a partner in a big law firm.) This is hard, but it is not the end of the world.

Boyfriends come and go. Let's not get too worked up about that. You are a gorgeous redhead I'm sure and if you choose, you'll get another one as soon as you want one!

I'm just so sorry about the trauma and the drama. I'm sure your son is too.

Vinomom said...
May 10, 2010 at 2:09 PM

That is NOT a fun Mothers Day! I'm sorry you had to go through that.

A pity party for yourself is never a bad thing every once in awhile. Wallow in it, go ahead, we'll wait.

And Enjoy the New Hair!

Kat said...
May 10, 2010 at 2:19 PM

Wow. Just wow. I can feel your pain. Been there, done that with an 18 year old...hell I actually think he was 15 at the time? Not sure.

Ending relationships, regardless of whether you want to or not, sucks. But you'll be better off for it if it was not working out. It just takes time to tell your brain and heart that and make them believe it.

You'll get there. In the meantime, put your feet up and take that nap. :) You deserve it.

MiMi said...
May 10, 2010 at 2:19 PM

Friend! I'm so sorry you had a sheisty Mother's day. :(
Kids suck sometimes. I say that as a former kid who threw a box fan at my mom's head. Don't yell at me, I know, it was bad. I broke the damn thing.
Hope you have a better week, red heads are awesome. I dye mine red about once a year. :)

Ian said...
May 10, 2010 at 2:20 PM

Do I get commenter of the year for being the asshole of the year?

DM will understand that comment

Taylorvillegirl said...
May 10, 2010 at 2:35 PM

I am so sorry you had such a heartbreaking experience. Mother's Day, Schmother's Day. You shouldn't have to deal with that drama any day.
If you need to wallow, then do it. I think you are entitled to it. Get some booze, rent your favorite RDJ movie and pause to your heart's content on all the hottest scenes. We'll be right here waiting for you.

Taylorvillegirl said...
May 10, 2010 at 2:35 PM

I am so sorry you had such a heartbreaking experience. Mother's Day, Schmother's Day. You shouldn't have to deal with that drama any day.
If you need to wallow, then do it. I think you are entitled to it. Get some booze, rent your favorite RDJ movie and pause to your heart's content on all the hottest scenes. We'll be right here waiting for you.

Dual Mom said...
May 10, 2010 at 2:39 PM

Ian - you totally get commentor of the year! You also get it because you're email made me laugh...it was pretty damn ironic, no?

The Only Girl said...
May 10, 2010 at 2:41 PM

Oh dear. This too shall pass. In the meantime . . . drink lots of wine.

June said...
May 10, 2010 at 2:45 PM

I believe I have smacked a kid or two with the TV remote...
And I put frozen veggies in the cupboard only to discover it at a much later date...

Work, kids, shitty BF, ah hell woman, you are lucky you still have hair to dye!! I would have ripped mine out by now.

Hang in there DM. As you said, this too shall pass.

Salt said...
May 10, 2010 at 3:00 PM

I used to do that too...dye my hair when things got rough. It did always help. I bet your head looks fab.

I'm sorry that you had a rough go at it this weekend. If anything I can bet that your 18 year old is learning a serious lesson from this right now.

And congratulations on getting the new job, even if you had to work an obscene amount of hours.

In the meantime I agree with the wine suggestion. That's def what I would do.

Menopausal New Mom said...
May 10, 2010 at 3:25 PM

Sorry to hear that Mother's Day and your love life both ended up in the toilet on the weekend. I'm trying to picture you with red hair and I bet it looks striking with your eyes :)

Hope that things are calming down for you today and yes, I've been to Michelle's place. Heartbreaking isn't it.

Oh and congratulations on landing that job, I think?

Logical Libby said...
May 10, 2010 at 3:25 PM

There is no world ranking of problems. And just because you think yours are smaller doesn't make them any less problematic.

And that boy better call and apologize.

advocatemom said...
May 10, 2010 at 4:02 PM

Drama is drama and it always sucks! I cannot fathom working 68 hours in one week with kids to care for. But, I can say for certain that 18 year old sons can be a pain in the ass! It takes kicking them out sometimes to get them to be reasonable.

Take your fabulous hair out for drinks! :-)

BigSis said...
May 10, 2010 at 4:29 PM

You are totally allowed to complain when life is a bitch. Here's to hoping it gets better!

Aunt Juicebox said...
May 10, 2010 at 4:40 PM

Damn teenagers! Lucky they don't get hit with more than just a tv remote. Mine's been a raging sore on my ass for months. I'm sorry your son broke your heart :( maybe it'll be good for him to stay at his dads because he shouldn't be pushing you or getting into fights with his younger brother. He's legal now, and needs to learn that lesson before he ends up in jail over it.

~J said...
May 10, 2010 at 6:55 PM

Sending huge boobie'licious hugs to you babe!! I could connect you with my Mom if she could learn to operate her computer-she's been through SEVERAL similar situations with my brother. Teens are a real pain in the ass!

Congrats on the job though...and I'll bet you look smokin hot as a red head!

middle child said...
May 10, 2010 at 8:45 PM

I also hate drama and avoid it like the plague. On the other hand, I do enjoy pity parties. Seems to be the ones I throw myself. I'll be there!

Jewels Diva® said...
May 10, 2010 at 8:56 PM

Every now and then, life throws shit at you to see how you're coping, and how you cope with it.

You know you don't cope well and maybe now it's time to change that.

Let your son cope on his own if he wants to get violent. Clearly he has some lessons to learn.

Tracie said...
May 10, 2010 at 10:37 PM

I'm non-confrontational, too so I understand that feeling of wanting to stick your head up your arse and hide. I hope things get calmer, soon.

Danielle said...
May 10, 2010 at 11:14 PM

I am so sorry you had a crappy weekend. If I were closes, I would have brought over a bottle of wine for us to share.

The Blue Zoo said...
May 10, 2010 at 11:39 PM

I dyed my hair red to. Lots of red highlights. I really like it!

Im sorry your son was a snot.

Dont be sticking any forks in your eyeblls. Things will calm down, right? I hope so!

Drink lots of wine and eat lots of chocolate.

gayle said...
May 11, 2010 at 12:04 AM

I am so sorry you had such a bad day!! These are hard years with kids! Just keep on loving them like you do!!

A Blogoddess' Tale said...
May 11, 2010 at 12:47 AM

I have your back. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Hang in there. :) HUGS, LisaB

adrienzgirl said...
May 11, 2010 at 1:50 AM

Teenagers = Lowest form of life on the planet.

I can say that. I have one. Same age as yours no less. And DRAMA? Seems to follow them like a fucking black cloud.

On a happy note? They will be human again in a few years. :D

Sorry your Momma's Day blew.

As for the man, kick his ass to the curb. Quit ignoring it. You got a new do, you should have your ass back on the LIB wagon, you will be fabulous in a few weeks and the rest won't fucking matter.

AND RED HEADS are the fucking BEST! I can say that. I am one!

Oh...and one last thing.


Ashley said...
May 11, 2010 at 6:03 AM

I just stumbled upon your blog like yesterday & was so entertained that I read, a lot!! lol... but this one makes me sad =(

My mom's had to go so far as to fight/scream/yell at us, kick my brother out at one point, we've had all out wars in our house... but all of us have a great relationship with her & I wouldn't change anything for the world!!

Be strong & I think you did the right thing by having him go...

And as far as the whole boyfriend thing goes, if its bad...end it. Just do it. You'll feel better when you do it.

Jules said...
May 11, 2010 at 7:11 AM

Sorry that you're going through all of this. But at least you look great! :)

Hang in there!

Mae Rae said...
May 11, 2010 at 12:15 PM

Hey DM, even though that is not your REAL NAME, I feel for you. I missed the job thing so I will need to go back and find that post. I have brothers, you know, far too many, and this is the age, and bullshit, it just means that they are turning into men. Things don't change there. I want you to know that I feel for you and think you are the bomb, hope all turns upwards for you over the next few.

Mrsblogalot said...
May 11, 2010 at 4:22 PM

Oy! You poor thing!

This drama shall pass. Naps do help.

And on the bright side, there is always RDJ.

He could never make us want to hide up an arse.

Yankee Girl said...
May 11, 2010 at 5:27 PM

Oh dear,

I am so sorry for all the drama going on right now. I'm sending you a hug. Can you feel it?

The Queen said...
May 11, 2010 at 5:42 PM

set the scene.. Queenie with her most sympathetic voice..and her.. oh.. I'm so sorry face..

SUck it up woman! There is plenty of room at the castle.. we serve booze ... and we are not afraid to feed people to the gators... so come on out.. I'll put clean sheets on the beds... load up on the ice for the drinks.. and find some cabana boys to serve us grapes..

We don't need no stinkin drama.. we rock.. and we deserve better.. so come on out.. I'm waiting.,, drink in hand..

Crazy Brunette said...
May 11, 2010 at 6:41 PM

well piss fire.

I'm sorry sugar. Has the bone head son apologized yet?

The cutting board was an excellent idea bitch! Bet he wouldn't have done it again!

Better to get your hair did, than gain 5 lbs like I would!

blueviolet said...
May 11, 2010 at 8:05 PM

What you're calling drama is just life, and life happens. I'm terribly sorry to hear it all kinda came down at once though. However, sometimes when it goes that way, it propels you to make necessary changes and it sounds like that's what you're doing. But, I'm sorry. Because it's just a lot.

GunDiva said...
May 12, 2010 at 3:56 PM

Does it help that I went to see your sweetheart RDJ and I have to - grudgingly - admit that he's a teeny-tiny bit hot?

Sorry your Mom's Day sucked big hairy donkey balls.

Erin said...
May 12, 2010 at 4:18 PM

You are totally allowed this pity party, woman. CUt yourself some slack. Hell, I will join your pity party. I wish I lived up there, I'd take you out for a 6-hour happy hour.

I'm so sorry about your son and the fight. And the boyfriend...I, too, like to change my hair when I'm in a funk. I want to see pics, though!

Take all the time you need. You deserve it.

Homesick Cajun said...
May 12, 2010 at 9:17 PM

Aww I wish I could give you a hug boo, I would be just as heartbroken as you! I hope your son gets over being angry soon!! Hugs!

*LLUVIA* said...
May 13, 2010 at 1:40 PM

Your home drama remind me of when I was growing up and as you were describing what happened between you and your son, I was seeing Mom and my older brother--totally. Mom did break a wooden spoon on his back, though.

If you and your son are anything like my mom and my brother, things will get better soon and it will all be a thing of the past.

*virtual hugs*