On The Road Again

Things I've learned from dating a long haul trucker:


Soon has many a varied definitions - it could mean anywhere from an hour to four days

Cell phones are a mans best friend

Lot lizards are NOT an amphibian that you would buy as a pet for your nine year old

It is possible to send and receive 548 pages of text messages in one month

The name of every state along the eastern seaboard...and how long it takes to cross it

The weather forecast a week ahead for above mentioned states

If you're travelling behind a transfer truck and you can't see his/her mirrors, they can't see you

Google maps is my new bff

Receiving a text that says "I'm in (insert name of obscure town, village) and ok" will brighten your day and ease your mind unlike anything you ever thought possible

The bunk of a truck can be quite cozy...just sayin

Long haul trucking isn't a job, it's a lifestyle. Eighty percent of society has a totally warped idea of what that lifestyle entails. I know I did.

Those of us not driving transfer trucks are called "4 wheelers" and for the most part, we drive truck drivers nuts

Cowboy boots are incredibly sexy on the right man

So is a 4 day scruff

It is possible to miss someone so much it takes your breath away

It will also take your breath away when you see that someone walk toward you, after being gone for 23 days, with a huge smile on his face. When he crushes you in the biggest hug imagineable...priceless.

Driving for two hours to spend the night in a truck is not outside my realm of possibilities

Taco Bell is a food group...apparently

It takes more than the length of a football field to stop a truck when it's hauling an 8 thousand pound trailer. So if you're passing said trailer on the highway - make damn sure you don't pull in front of him abruptly. Think crushed beer can.

Most truck drivers don't drive when they're tired, they have no desire to make crushed beer cans out of your vehicle.

EVERYTHING you buy, own or eat, was brought to you in a truck.Think about that.

Cell service between the US and Canada blows hairy monkey balls.

It is possible to love someone so much, that receiving the text "Good morning baby, I love you" will make you smile like a fucking lunatic that's ready for the funny farm for the rest of the day.

I know what a turbo booster is - file that one under info I never thought I'd have.

I have it within me to relish the thought of living in a truck for two weeks, without running water, bathroom facilities or a coffee maker. If I'm coming through your hometown can I stop and borrow your shower?

I have patience, not saying limitless patience. Just saying I can hear I don't know or we'll have to wait and see without wanting to rip the face off of the person saying it to me.