On The Road Again

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Things I've learned from dating a long haul trucker:


Soon has many a varied definitions - it could mean anywhere from an hour to four days

Cell phones are a mans best friend

Lot lizards are NOT an amphibian that you would buy as a pet for your nine year old

It is possible to send and receive 548 pages of text messages in one month

The name of every state along the eastern seaboard...and how long it takes to cross it

The weather forecast a week ahead for above mentioned states

If you're travelling behind a transfer truck and you can't see his/her mirrors, they can't see you

Google maps is my new bff

Receiving a text that says "I'm in (insert name of obscure town, village) and ok" will brighten your day and ease your mind unlike anything you ever thought possible

The bunk of a truck can be quite cozy...just sayin

Long haul trucking isn't a job, it's a lifestyle. Eighty percent of society has a totally warped idea of what that lifestyle entails. I know I did.

Those of us not driving transfer trucks are called "4 wheelers" and for the most part, we drive truck drivers nuts

Cowboy boots are incredibly sexy on the right man

So is a 4 day scruff

It is possible to miss someone so much it takes your breath away

It will also take your breath away when you see that someone walk toward you, after being gone for 23 days, with a huge smile on his face. When he crushes you in the biggest hug imagineable...priceless.

Driving for two hours to spend the night in a truck is not outside my realm of possibilities

Taco Bell is a food group...apparently

It takes more than the length of a football field to stop a truck when it's hauling an 8 thousand pound trailer. So if you're passing said trailer on the highway - make damn sure you don't pull in front of him abruptly. Think crushed beer can.

Most truck drivers don't drive when they're tired, they have no desire to make crushed beer cans out of your vehicle.

EVERYTHING you buy, own or eat, was brought to you in a truck.Think about that.

Cell service between the US and Canada blows hairy monkey balls.

It is possible to love someone so much, that receiving the text "Good morning baby, I love you" will make you smile like a fucking lunatic that's ready for the funny farm for the rest of the day.

I know what a turbo booster is - file that one under info I never thought I'd have.

I have it within me to relish the thought of living in a truck for two weeks, without running water, bathroom facilities or a coffee maker. If I'm coming through your hometown can I stop and borrow your shower?

I have patience, not saying limitless patience. Just saying I can hear I don't know or we'll have to wait and see without wanting to rip the face off of the person saying it to me.

14 comments:

Another Day of Crazy said...
February 2, 2011 at 1:30 PM

No coffee or shower in a truck for 2 weeks!? MUST be love.

singedwingangel said...
February 2, 2011 at 1:38 PM

Feel free to swing through anytime. Hubby's bff was a long haul truck driver only he drove a flatbed.. Took hubby with him one week, hubby realized he didn't wanna drive a truck

adrienzgirl said...
February 2, 2011 at 2:25 PM

You are the cutest little love bird I have seen!

Logical Libby said...
February 2, 2011 at 2:31 PM

Knew about the Taco Bell thing from college. The rest is all very new and exciting to me...

Glad you are happy!

Drama Queen said...
February 2, 2011 at 7:09 PM

I love this. And yes, if you're ever traveling thru KC, come on by! :)

Just call me Yankee said...
February 2, 2011 at 8:18 PM

I too date a truck driver. Fortunately mine is not an OTR driver. He gets to come home to me after a couple of days every time. It really is interesting the things us ladies learn after being with a TD, isn't it?

The Queen said...
February 2, 2011 at 10:21 PM

Lot lizards are the girls that aren't smart enough to work for me.. ha ha...

Kaylen said...
February 3, 2011 at 2:29 AM

I have known what a lot lizard is for at least two decades. I'm not sure why...

I find truck drivers fascinating. I think it's something about wanting to know more about someone who can live that lifestyle.

I LOVE a 4-day scruff. Super-sexy!!

I'm in Oregon. I have a shower and a big bath tub. Give me a couple days notice, and then swing on by! :)

GB Girl said...
February 3, 2011 at 11:40 AM

You are a ridiculously adorable lovebird! I'm so happy for you.

I've always had respect for truck drivers. Most of my knowledge about their lifestyle had come from a delusional patient who thought he was a truck driver. Thanks for giving me the real info. ;)

Danielle said...
February 3, 2011 at 12:47 PM

C O L O R A D O! Get your ass out here! I have a shower and wine!

The Queen said...
February 3, 2011 at 1:58 PM

Because we love you,, you are about to be thrown in our prison.. I think the charges are for making the Queen giggles snort vodka out her nose at the strangest times...

Aunt Juicebox said...
February 3, 2011 at 4:22 PM

Ohio isn't on the eastern seaboard but it's not too far, only say 8 or 9 hours. lol Glad you're back, been missin' ya! My BIL was a truck driver, he mostly hauled lumber to the saw mills, but he did do some long distance driving, and he's told me all about it...let's just say, I have a lot of respect for the big rigs, and stay outta their way!

June said...
February 4, 2011 at 7:46 PM

Woman, you ever pass through WI you are more than welcome to stop for a hot shower and spiked coffee!!

Love is a marvelous thing...
I know this thing you talk about.

And you will be happy to know that Pinkus did learn in drivers ed about the truck mirrors. I will share the beer can analogy with him.

Sandra said...
February 6, 2011 at 12:47 AM

You are a very smart woman. And it takes a special person to realize you have something good, and every little bit of contact is a ray of sunshine.
I loved this post. It made me all mushy inside. Your love is palpable.