Why? Why Do You Have to Be an Asshat?

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Please be forewarned - I've had several (okay 5) crantinis and I'm mad as hell.

Break-ups aren't fun. I mean you never hear anyone say, "You know, just for shits and giggles I think I'll break up with my partner tomorrow". Unless of course you're a psychotic, narcissistic asshole and then all bets are off.

Though I have several narcissistic tendencies that scare the shit out of me when I dwell on them for too long, I'm not psychotic. I have the papers to prove it. My recent break up was the result of months of sleepless nights, agonizing conversations with myself and friends and alot of deep deep soul searching. It broke my heart to end the relationship. I hurt him. I don't like hurting people unless they deserve it.

Ex-boyfriend has been emailing me for the last week, hounding me to tell the kids about our breakup. He argued that they had a right to know. I argued that I was their mother, and as their mother I had final call as to when to tell my kids. The kids have not seen him in over 6 months. They have long ago stopped asking when they would see him again. Ex sent me an email today telling me that if I did not tell them, he would. He talks to Nora quite frequently on Facebook about farmville (don't ask...that's a whole other issue) and ipods.

This afternoon I'm in the kitchen and I hear Nora shout, "Mom...what the hell is going on?". Nora shouting is one thing, Nora saying hell means that something of an apacolyptic nature has happened. She comes out to the kitchen with the laptop and shows me Ex's facebook page. He has changed his status to "Single" and put "blank is now new and improved, 100% Dual Mom free".

Blink blink.

So I'm essentially forced to explain to Nora what has happened. You can only imagine how your's truly likes being forced to fucking do anything. Son of a bitch.

Wait it gets better.

My sister in law called me this evening - "Have you seen Ex's facebook?" I said that I had, that he's angry, hurt and lashing out. There was silence on the other end of phone. SIL said, "Wow, I can't believe you're being so diplomatic about this". Wait what? Long story short I check fb only to find that he's essentially had a full on conversation with my daughter about our relationship on FUCKING FACEBOOK for all the world to see.

So I fired off this in an email:
Do not speak with Nora about our relationship ever again please. I have no problem with the two of you discussing farmville or ipods but I will not have my personal life displayed for all the world to see on fucking facebook. I haven't been 14 in a long time and have no desire for this type of display. I thought you were alot more mature than this.

And I get this back:

So the point of your note is that you're pissed off that I did exactly what I said I was going to do. I was no secret that I was going to let my friends know on Friday. (So the only way he could let his friends know about our break up is via FB?) It was no secret that if your kids asked I would tell them the truth. (They would never ask about our relationship unless something provoked them to ask) I'm really not sure what the problem is here.(The problem, you limp dick fucking asshole cocksucker is that your using my children to hurt me) You had advanced warning and now you're embarrassed. To bad. What bugs you is not in any way or form my problem. Be angry at yourself.

So here's the thing. I'm not going to post anything disparaging about you online and I have not done so. (Ummm how is it not disparaging to have a conversation with my 12 year old daughter about our relationship online you stupid fucking bald bastard) That's as far as it goes. I do this for your kids. (You do nothing for my kids...you do this because you know the only way to hurt me is through my kids because I stopped caring about you a long fucking time ago) Not for you. At no time will I lie to your kids if they ask me questions about this.Feel free to send more email demands to see what weight they have with me.

Here's the thing, I get anger. I get that he's angry, I do. But this, this is just beyond anything I ever thought he'd be capable of. I did not want this breakup to end in our slinging names and insults. I'm obviously not going to respond, it's exactly what he wants. However, if he continues to use my daughter to get to me, he's going to wind up with his penis shoved down his throat, and not in a feel good way either. I will fucking hurt him like he's never been hurt before.

Bastard, you would think he'd know after 8 years not to fuck with me. Who's going to bail me out when I'm arrested for assault?


blueviolet said...
July 30, 2010 at 11:44 PM

This must kinda confirm to you that breaking up was the right thing to do!

GunDiva said...
July 30, 2010 at 11:47 PM

I'm with blueviolet - obviously breaking up with him was the right thing to do.

Can I just say he's an asshat extraordinaire?

Is that the best he can do? Strike out at you through your kids? Puh-leeze, even my drunken lout ex has more imagination than that.

He need a swift kick in the gonads hard enough that they come out his nose (then you can stuff his dick down his throat).

Anonymous said...
July 30, 2010 at 11:58 PM

sounds like the break up was the right thing, that is a crappy thing for him to do...and to use your child...doesnt sound like concern or love on his part to me.

sorry this happened to you friend.

Lori E said...
July 31, 2010 at 12:26 AM

Are you effin serious? That is sick. He is making your daughter his confidante and that is out of line for a grown man. It makes her feel important that he confides in her and treats her like an adult.
Be very careful here.

Anonymous said...
July 31, 2010 at 12:29 AM

I'll post bail, and help you serve up the gonads on freakin' china to shove down his throat!

What asshole thinks it's okay to use *your* kids against YOU?

Fucker. Damn good thing you ended it.

Anonymous said...
July 31, 2010 at 12:34 AM

Where are my butt-kickin' shoes??

F. McButter Pants said...
July 31, 2010 at 12:41 AM

Be glad you didn't waste any more time on the douche bag. Hurt, angry, or whatever. That was inappropriate of him.

Good luck, sounds like you're gonna need it. It has probably just begun. I've dated a few douche bags myself. I oughta know :(

Maggie said...
July 31, 2010 at 1:28 AM

What a fucktard. In what world is it possibly appropriate to bring someone's 12 year old daughter (or any age kid) into things like this?!

Sounds like it's probably a good thing that you're not together anymore. Geez!

Good luck with him. Should be interesting!

Dee said...
July 31, 2010 at 1:55 AM

I would have your kids block him. There's no need for a grown (ok, so he doesn't sound so adult like lol) man to bring children into a situation like this, especially since they're NOT HIS! I'd be just as pissed as you are girl!

Along said...
July 31, 2010 at 4:11 AM

I agree with Dee. Block him from Nora's fb account. He's too full of anger and stupidity to think rationally. You did a wise thing breaking up with him.

Princess Stupidhead said...
July 31, 2010 at 9:00 AM

I had an ex who, after a break up, posted pics of me on the internet, you know the kind you let your boyfriend take when you are 19. On the upside, I looked darn good. Downside, what was I thinking with that hat?

Maybe you could post a new status of your own, like "It's official! 100% tiny penis-free."

because obviously anyone who would do this kind of stuff has no penis to speak of whatsoever.

Kat said...
July 31, 2010 at 9:33 AM

You don't need to assault this ratbastard. Call the authorities the next time he talks to your daughter and have him arrested. YOU are the MOM. SHE is 12. He doesn't need to continue any relationship with her. And if you ask him not to do something with your daughter, and he continues, he can go to jail :)

Ed said...
July 31, 2010 at 10:50 AM

That sounds a little like harassment.

kyooty said...
July 31, 2010 at 11:18 AM

and block... :) Your daughter doesn't need to be his "FB or FV friend" she needs to be a kid. Delete. Also your family doesn't need to be his friends either. I'm sure they have their own friends.

Moo's Mamma said...
July 31, 2010 at 11:33 AM

BLAH.... what a freakazoid! Good riddance to that.... talk about substantiating the reason you left his A*&....

MindyMom said...
July 31, 2010 at 11:39 AM

Wait, I'm a little confused. You said your kids hadn't seen him in 6 months. And he felt they needed an explanation?! And from HIM??

My break up (the final one in 3 yrs of us being on-and-off) was 6 weeks ago and my 4 y/o just asked yesterday when he was going to come over again. I told her he wasn't going to come over anymore. To which she replied, "I hate it when you break up". Yeah, she's FOUR!

Personally I think he made himself look like an ass by having that conversation on FB with your 12 y/o daughter.

gayle said...
July 31, 2010 at 1:24 PM

You made a great decision breaking up with him. The real Him came out!! As for him talking to your daughter on fb........he is looking like a Fool for all the world to see!!!

Anonymous said...
July 31, 2010 at 5:40 PM

Is he over 21? What the hell kind of behaviour is this?? Douchebag extraordinaire. Doesn't matter how the break-up went, using a 12 year old as his abuse conduit, asshat doesn't begin to cover what an idiot he is.

Block him on your kids FB and report him to FB. Very glad you dumped him, I bet you don't care anymore that breaking up hurt him.


MiMi said...
July 31, 2010 at 5:43 PM

You could make your kids "de friend" him...?
What a pussy.

adrienzgirl said...
July 31, 2010 at 6:29 PM

Um...seriously? Someone at our age changes their status on Facebook to publicize a breakup? Really? REALLY?!? That's what the KIDS in High School do.

*rolls eyes*

What a schmuck!

Scribe said...
July 31, 2010 at 6:42 PM

Asshat indeed!

The relationship and its issues are between you and him. Using your daughter as his confidante is not right and not adult of him.

Hell, I'd even go out and roll him for ya.


Daffy said...
July 31, 2010 at 7:06 PM

Asshat, indeed.

I do believe I shall email you this evening.....and...um...yeah...I'll leave it at that. We can have an 'online' happy hour together :)

June said...
July 31, 2010 at 8:03 PM

Just let me know where to wire the bail money, honey.

What a complete jackass. Good riddance.

Tracie said...
July 31, 2010 at 10:40 PM

I'm pretty broke right now but I'll still donate to your bail fund. What a douchecanoe. He sounds like he's 19.

The Only Girl said...
August 1, 2010 at 7:44 PM

Looks like breaking up with him was a very good idea after all. He's clearly not worthy. Move on girlfriend. That hurts them even more.

Anonymous said...
August 2, 2010 at 4:40 AM

Men are all assholes.

Try not to go to jail though. It doesnt sound like a lot of fun.

Danielle said...
August 2, 2010 at 12:09 PM

If I lived there with you, I would not be able to bail you out, cause I would be right next to you in the cell.
Sooo glad that you are done with him and able to get on with making you happy!!!

*LLUVIA* said...
August 2, 2010 at 8:28 PM

eeeekkk!!! It's like you are back in junior high!!!

Erin said...
August 2, 2010 at 10:08 PM

I would totally bail you out b/c that asshat would deserve anything you did to him. What a limp dick, indeed!

Linda Medrano said...
August 3, 2010 at 5:17 PM

Disgusting behavior. You should have your kids "unfriend" him. I really don't think he's a "value add" to their lives.

Aunt Juicebox said...
August 3, 2010 at 11:15 PM

Holy shit, I had a FB fight with Tee's dad while I was in Florida, wait'll I post about THAT crapfest. What is it with people and FB up their a-holes? And seriously, I'd make her defriend him. He'll still be her neighbor on Farmville, but not be able to contact her again without your permission, because that's what this is about. He can't control you, so he's trying to do it through your kids, so don't LET him. I live by the rule of No Tolerance, where my kid is concerned and I don't apologize for it. If he can't respect you not wanting him to talk to your kids about it, he shouldn't have access to them, period. What a fucktard.

alley said...
August 4, 2010 at 10:44 PM

you're the mom, unfriend him and have the kids unfriend him. He has no reason to maintain contact anymore.