Merry Fraken Christmas

Let the drama begin. Goddamit.

While I was preparing dinner this evening Nora informed me that SWSNBN said that they will be going to her mother's house for dinner at noon on Christmas day and would then bring the kids into me afterward around 3:00pm.

This will be the third year in a row we've done this dance. The two-step where SWSNBN thinks it is her right to take my children to her mother's on Christmas day and return them to me at her convenience. The third year in a row I have spent the entire month of December vascillating between extreme anger and a desire to just let the fucking holidays be over with so I don't have to do this battle. Why can't she just catch a raging case of gonorrhea that puts her in the hospital over the holidays? I will so burn in hell for typing those words, I get that and am completely willing to accept eternity in the fiery bowels of damnation.

When Ex and I split we agreed that whoever had the children during the week of xmas would have them on xmas morning. This worked in my favor and the kids spent the first five years with me on Christmas morning. I brought them out to Ex at noon on Xmas day because I knew that he (and his parents) wanted to be with them as much as I did. They spent the rest of xmas day with him and Boxing day, returning to me on the evening of Boxing day. Three years ago was the first year they were with him on xmas morning. Everything went fine (besides the fact that I drank myself into fucking complete oblivian on Christmas eve because I couldn't stand the fact that I was completely alone and my kids weren't with me) and they came in to be with me at noon.

Last year, SWSNBN decided that they were going to do dinner at her parents home. She informed me at the end of November that they would not be bringing the kids in to me until after dinner on the evening of Christmas day. You can all imagine how well that went over with me. I spent the entire month of December arguing with Ex (ok I argued and he just responded with uh huh at regular intervals). I finally broke and agreed to let them keep the kids until 3:00pm on Christmas day. Yes, I broke. It was not a proud moment for me.

I have several issues here:

1. Who the fuck does she think she is? I mean how does this equate to being ok in her mind?
2.  Her mother is of no relation to my kids. So how is it ok for me to miss most of Christmas day with MY children so that her mother can spend time with them? How is it ok for their paternal grandparents to have no time whatsoever with their only grandchildren on Christmas day, so that they can spend the day with her hillbilly mother. What is that?
3.  Why does she tell Nora this shit?
4.  WHAT GIVES HER THE RIGHT TO DICTATE WHERE MY CHILDREN SPEND CHRISTMAS DAY?

I'm a good mother. I am a goddamn excellent mother. I could see her reasoning if I was some drug addicted crack whore (no offense to all you drug addicted whores out there) who neglected her children.  My children are my life. While I blog about what assholes they can be, curse and swear about the chaos that is our lives, wish some days I could trade them in for a new pair of shoes, they are my life. They are the only people in this world that I would give my own life for, without doubt or hesitation. I have sacrificed so many aspects of my personal and professional life for these little anklebiters because that's what parents do. As parents, we sacrifice our own lives for our children. Christmas is one of the small rewards involved with parenting and I'm expected to sacrifice that reward so this bitch can have dinner with her mother?

I know you're asking why I don't just discuss this with Ex and resolve it amongst ourselves. Ex is pussy whipped. He's so pussy whipped he doesn't know where his own mind ends and hers begins (or should I say where his penis ends). What she says goes and he refuses to stand up to her. I've told him time and time again - while I appreciate the fact that she is a part of his life, and in turn our childrens lives, I do not appreciate being dictated to by his girlfriend. None of it registers with him. There is no doubt that she would make his life a complete and utter living hell were he to stand up to her on this, but I frankly don't give a damn. Keep in mind his own parents do not get to have dinner with their grandkids on Xmas day because of her, and he allows it.

So what do I do?

Try to make Ex see things from my point of view (again, again, again, goddammit again) and ask him to tell her she doesn't call the shots? I know it won't work, but am willing to try.

Send her an email and basically say what I've said above. It will make her furious. It will cause untold difficulties for months and months to come. She will not forget that I played the mom card and if at any point in the forseable future I need to switch times with Ex because of work, or I need him to take the kids to an appointment, she will ensure that there is no flexibility. I'm willing to take that chance. She will make no hesitation about voicing her displeasure in front of the kids.

Let it go. Let her do what she wants. Typing that makes my stomach hurt and brings tears to my eyes. It's not an option.

Buy a big fucking bag of quick lime and kill the bitch, bury her in the backyard and tell everyone she ran away.

Seriously though, what do I do? I honestly do not know. I do not want to do this dance again. Please tell me if I'm not seeing this clearly. Please tell me if you have some ingenious idea as to how to handle this. I would love to hear from all you step-moms out there. I really would.

I want to be with my babies on Christmas day. That's all I want.

She had better watch her damn self, I am so going to sick my mice on her.